Seeing is Deceiving
by cagney1982
Summary: Alice misinterprets a vision of Edward leaving Bella in the woods and sends Jasper back to Forks. Both Bella and Jasper have their own demons to face. An unlikely and dangerous friendship develops into something that noone, not even Alice saw coming.
1. Chapter 1

**My first fanfic, but I'm not a stranger to writing. It's my favourite hobby (well next to reading fanfiction - I'm sure I'm addicted). The story is unbetaed. Anyone wishing to Beta it please let me know. **

**Disclaimer - Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play around with the what if's.**

**Outline - set in New Moon. Edward leaves Bella in the woods and a disturbing vision by Alice sets in motion a course of events that lead our favourite Major and Bella on a course that noone could have foreseen. Sometimes you have to sacrifice everything for the ones you love.**

'Alice?' I rushed to catch her as her screams filled the air and her slight form crumpled towards the ground. Her agony was radiating from her like a homing beacon. 'Alice talk to me please.' My own agony at my love's pain melted into the toxic emotional atmosphere of the lounge.

Her eyes opened and my heart almost broke as the pain in her eyes was infinitely worse than I could have imagined. She was pleading with me with that look and I wasn't sure for what. I felt her resolve and the obvious heartbreak. The rest of the family had gathered in the room, minus Edward who was 'tying up the loose ends in forks' as he called it. 'Alice what did you see?'. Carlisle was just as concerned as I was. I had the feeling this would be a very big deal.

Alice ignored Carlisle and stared straight at me. Her words seering my heart as I tried to understand exactly what she was telling me, even with the vampire ability to think multiple strands of thought at once my brain couldn't cope. Her words would change everything for the entire family forever.

'Jasper you have to save her. You're her only hope.' What was she talking about? Who? Noting my confusion she took my face in her hands as she sat up right and looked directly at me. Her expression conveying every emotion my gift allowed me to feel. 'Bella. You have to go back to Forks Jasper. He leaves her in the woods. She's alone and it's going to rain.' Her voice broke along with the hearts of my family as her next words left her lips, 'her future disappears. Noone finds her Jasper.' The venom that would never fall coated everyones eyes as the anger in the room built from an unlikely source – Rosalie.

'That selfish idiot. I'm going back for my sister and if he doesn't like it I'll tear his arms off.' Rosalies reaction had the desired effect. Alice looked at her breaking her gaze from me gave me a millisecond to focus and try and digest exactly what was going on.

'Rose it has to be Jasper. If anyone else goes their futures disappear to. We lose you.' I now understood her heartbreak. Not only was she losing her best friend, but she would lose her family to. My wife needed me. In that moment I made the decision. I would save Bella and save my family. I may even teach Edward a few lessons while I'm at it. How could he cause everyone this much pain. We always knew he was essentially a selfish creature but this was taking it too far. 'Thank you.' I felt her lips at my ear as she whispered the last part and I felt a pain even more intense than the change. 'Jasper when you leave this house you leave me forever. Remember that I'll always love you and am grateful for you saving Bella and our family. Don't ever feel guilty for anything you have to or want to do. It's your time now.' Her cryptic shit wasn't appreciated in that moment. She pulled back and spoke at a level even a human would hear, 'for old times sake, let me have a last goodbye.' With that she picked me up and carried me to our room. I was pleased to leave 4 sets of emotions behind.

Her lips and tongue were soft and gentle as if memorising the contours of my skin as she explored my body for the last time. The overwhelming need to feel close to her fuelling my own exploration of a body I would never forget, the body of my wife. Our love making was prolonged and tender I refused to end the moment and realised that even in my vampire state I had never held out so long. Her pleasure was my only concern. After this we would never be together as man and wife again. The venom clouded my vision as my need overtook me and I ploughed into her mercilessly. She would never forget me. I would make sure of it.

Diamond sparkles reflected off Alice's skin as the sun made its appearance. I had to pack and leave. I would take the bare essentials. The family could send me what I needed or I would buy it once I got back to Forks. During the night Alice told me of how Edward would be leaving Forks today after school and I needed to be there at a specific time to avoid a confrontation. She told me of Bella's heartbreak. How Edward would not return to the family but would venture in search of Victoria. His actions were tearing the family apart in so many ways. I packed as I replayed the conversation over in my head.

In that moment I made some very big promises to myself. Bella's birthday was my fault. I know she had forgiven me but I needed to make this up to her and I would start now. Vegetarianism was not my first choice. I always struggled with the decision to fight what I am and everything that entailed. This lifestyle now was my first choice. I would be a better person/vampire. I would fight the bloodlust. I would not let the breakup of my marriage be for nothing. I owed it to myself and Bella and most of all Alice.

As a military man I thought everything through systematically and strategically. Alice had seen that this was the only way. I would ensure my mission was complete. I would look out for Bella and eventually bring her home to the family. If it was her decision I would bring her home as a vampire and prevent all of the issues being a problem anymore. Edward would have her back and I would come back for Alice and prove that I am in control. We could move on. I had to believe that everything would be ok.

Before long I had packed and turning back to my wife I realised she had gone. Our goodbye had been unsaid but felt in so many ways. I made my way to the front door and dropped my bags to say a temporary goodbye to the rest of my family.

'Jasper stay safe and call us if you need anything.' Esme's words were heartfelt and I realised how hard it was losing 3 of her children in the space of a few days. I hugged her and sent her my love and admiration.

'You say the word and I'm coming with you. Dickward needs his head testing. My sis needs us.' Emmett always one to speak his mind. I would miss his playful ways the most.

'Jasper.' Rose's emotions were unsure but she had compassion and a large amount of familial love, 'I know me and Bella have never got on. I want her to have a life, children, everything I couldn't have. I realise now that no matter what happens she will always be a part of us. Fate is cruel. Bring her safely home.' Carlisle stepped forward and hugged Rosalie. He really was a father. He turned to me.

'Alice has gone she said it was too hard to stay around till after you have gone. We will keep Edward out of our thoughts until the time is right. I trust that you will be strong and do the right thing. Although I did not bring you into this family, you will always have a place here with us.' His love and compassion flooded me like a tidal wave.

'Thanks Carlisle.' With the tearless goodbyes finished I picked up my bags to start a journey that would change my existence forever.

**I have the whole story plotted. However your ideas are welcome and encouraged if I use one I will give you a shout out.**

**Please review and let me know what you think. Next chapter will be on the way soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight – I just like to make cookies out of crumbs.**

**Wow I'm completely overwhelmed 193 hits in the first 12 hours. A big cyber hug to everyone who read, and especially those who added to their favourites. A special thank you goes to Cassandra96, Frau-Sorge, AbbeNormal, KayJay112, Ali, ccgnme, Twilightbloom and WhitlockHevyn for your wonderful reviews. **

**Bella and Jasper are not going to fall into a relationship just yet. Both are still very much in love with other people. However a little bit of friendly fluff can create great drama. **

Very little had changed in Forks since I left a few days ago, the trees had barely grown, the air felt a degree cooler. The chill did not affect me, but the stench of wet dog instantly assaulted my nostrils as I passed the diner. The smell had put me on high alert. My phone beeped breaking the unnatural silence that had surrounded me since I left Alaska.

**Detour 1****st**** left, the future disappeared. Take care of her for me. Remember I love you  
>X Alice X<strong>

The message could mean this was more serious than I thought. My inner soldier warred with my sanity. I never backed down from a fight and I never lost either, but betting against Alice would be idiotic. With a huff I jerked left not even indicating.

Venom clouded my eyes as my thoughts snapped back to Alice. I was strong but 50 years ago Alice created a chink in my armour that would never be healed. Pain seared through my skin making every atom ache with need and love for my wife.

I jerked to a halt 2 miles from the rendezvous point Alice had given me, far enough outside of Edward's mental hearing range. I had 30 minutes until I needed to make my move. Alice instructed me to take Bella to the Cullen house and not home to Charlie. I would deal with her angry father if it meant keeping the brown eyed danger magnet alive.

Thoughts of death re-assaulted my brain. I had replayed Alice's cryptic words in my head many times on the miles of highway. It seemed that whoever returned to Forks to save Bella would die. By some weird twist of fate, I was the only one that could ensure Bella would live. Alice had sacrificed me to save everyone else. I was sacrificing myself for my wife and a mistake that I could never take back.

Bella's birthday had constantly replayed in slow motion over the last few days. The bloodlust had clouded my vision so completely that all I saw was food. It had cost me and my family so much. I began to recollect my life and the choices of others that brought me to where I was today - the villain playing the hero.

My time in Maria's army had given me everything I thought I wanted. Respect, power, the thrill of quenching the bloodlust with the endless supply of beautiful women at my beck and call. Every need I had was satisfied by someone else's demise. I was a monster in the most literal sense. My gift forced me to gain a conscience and Peter provided the final blow that forced me do the one thing I said I never would. I became a deserter. No matter how right it was I lost some respect for myself that I have never regained.

The last 50 years had changed my perception of this existence. I learnt to love one being unconditionally, a love that with my gift I had felt many times but never experienced. I gained a family, one who loved me no matter my faults, my past actions or decisions. I learnt to function around humans rather than eat them at will. It was painful to be in close proximity to them most of the time. This is a struggle I will never avoid as I fight to be a better man. The rest of the Cullen's had never allowed their bloodlust to rule their existence to the extent that I had. In that moment I vowed to take complete control and never slip up again. It was time to make things right. Another text message pulled me from my internal flogging. It was time for me to save the accident prone damsel in distress. I was assured there would be no blood.

I left the car and ran into the woods. As I broke through the first line of trees I dropped. The influx of pain flooring me. This would be harder than I thought. I crawled towards the eye of the storm. 10 minutes later the sight before me broke me a little bit more. A mess of brown waves fanned the forest floor. There was nothing but silence.

Without my gift it would appear that she was sleeping. My empathic ability alerted me to the silent war inside this broken girl. A hollowness so absolute that I wanted to check her body for physical signs of harm. What had my brother done? Is this what Alice had seen? I fought the onslaught of emotional stress as I stood, taking her externally lifeless body with me. I carried her at human pace through the forest towards my car. I allowed my gift to provide her with temporary relief. How could a human survive so much pain? But Bella's reactions had never been natural.

I felt her move in my arms as her hands fisted my shirt, as if clinging to her only lifeline. I couldn't help but internally chuckle at the irony of that errant thought. Out of all the Cullen's I posed the biggest threat. Alice would not have sent me back if she didn't think I could handle this. My resolve thickened at the level of trust both women appeared to have in me. Minutes passed in a whirl of silence and torment.

As we came out onto the road I felt Bella's curiosity. I stilled as we made eye contact for the first time since I returned. Her tears had long since dried, her red puffy eyes and cheeks the only outward sign of her distress. And I knew in that moment no matter what I would never leave her. I must have been projecting my protectiveness as Bella's emotions shifted. I felt her curiosity morph into a strange form of hope, the unhealthy dose of pain ever present but subdued by my power.

Her eyes pleaded with me. I couldn't understand what she was asking, Edward was the mind reader but he was gone. Her emotions became too erratic to decipher as her pain clawed back to take full control of the now shaking girl. I realised I had spoken that thought aloud. Privacy had never been an option with Alice or Edward around. I would have to make a conscious decision to hold onto any stray thoughts in future. I absorbed her pain as punishment for my actions. I had promised Alice I would take care of her and here I was increasing her discomfort.

'I'm not leaving you Bella.' I pulled her tighter to me in a form of hug. Her body felt so soft and warm. A feeling I hadn't had in many vampire years. Her heartbeat a firm reminder that she was alive and well thanks to Alice. I felt pride for my wife and most of all myself. We had always made a great team. 'Let's get you home and warm.' Her nod was the only confirmation I needed. I gently placed her in the passenger seat.

As I took away the physical contact I was shocked by how quickly the full extent of the pain permeated the atmosphere in and around the car. I forced my body to move as I made my way to the driver's seat.

The stench of wet dog reappeared. I remembered Carlisle mentioning the smell a long time ago. I thanked my never ending memory and perfect recall. I glanced in the rear view mirror in its direction and noticed 3 excessively large Quilette men exiting the forest. Their livid eyes locked with mine as they shifted into the form of wolves and fled the scene.

I made a mental note to call Carlisle later as I sent a wave of calm and lethargy in their direction. I was not taking any chances. Could this be the danger that Alice foresaw? Could they pose a danger to me? I was strong in combat but Alice had seen my future disappear. I must protect Bella and get us out of Forks as soon as possible. I couldn't risk a battle where the odds were firmly against us. I would be tactical and win the war. Bella needed me to be at my strongest. Her human life depended on it.

I started the engine and took her hand as I began to drive. I felt guilt as her warmth invaded my skin, even with this friendly gesture I felt like I was betraying Alice. Then I remembered her words. 'don't feel guilty for anything you have to do'. Touch amplified my power. I needed to keep Bella sane for the next few hours. We were about to have a conversation that was going to be painful for us both.

**Sorry for the cliffy *little devil horns appear* please leave some reviewing love. I'll try and respond to everyone, your responses mean the world.**

**I'm aiming to update at least once a week. I hate to keep people waiting.**

**Lets hope the creativity demon keeps pestering me - I have an idea for a very lemony Bella/Edward one-shot with a heavy Jasper influence. Will it be as kinky as it sounds? Read it and see ;) x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight – I just like to make cookies out of crumbs.**

**Yet again I'm completely overwhelmed by the response. Let's hope I can live up to your expectations. This chapter was hard to write but my wonderful Beta Twilightbloom helped me make a gem out of a stone.**

**Special thanks to the chapter 2 reviewers: Frau-Sorge, krystal214, JezeBelDk, AbbeNormal, WhitlockHevyn, TwilightAddict71484, ccgnme, Cssandra96, Annabely, twilightbloom, Kayley, amaris12345, KayJay112, kittylover93, dolpjin33, tyreethomas and katandjasper. If I haven't PM'ed you I'm sorry. I was working really hard to get the chapter out. You all deserve a shout out and a cyber-hug for showing your support.**

**An extra special thank you to krystal214 for inspiring me with an idea for this chapter.**

Bella's heart rate increased as I pulled the car into the Cullen garage. I knew it would be difficult to bring her here, but Alice had seen this as the only safe place for her. Our hands had become entwined on the journey. Bella was grasping any form of connection to Edward she could find, the only connection in Forks was me. I went to move my hand away but she continued to cling to me. With my vampire strength I knew I could move her without any effort, but the terror in her eyes pained me to the core. She seemed so lost.

I squeezed her hand gently letting her know everything would be ok. Even if it wasn't a full truth it would offer some form of comfort. Bella was relaxed with me, even when her emotions were eating her from the inside. How could she feel so at ease with me and my kind, I was a monster. She loved another monster but his deeds were childlike in comparison to those in my violent and jaded past. Especially the events she knew about – like her birthday. I forced myself to look away feeling as if my entire being had become naked for her to examine.

I struggled to control my gift as the heartache tore through me like a Tsunami. Less than 48 hours ago I had been in bed with my wife. Loving her like a woman deserves, and most women yearn to be loved. Suddenly I was thrust away from those I loved to protect an innocent and fragile girl, who too had been abandoned. We were both feeling the pain of loss, both pushed aside by those we loved. For once I had something in common with this girl other than my family. It was a connection I needed to feel to anybody at this time.

I took control of the situation, needing to shift the focus from what was beginning to feel like an almost intimate moment. Scared that I would lose control of my gift and let loose the full torrent of emotions I was suppressing in both my conscious and unconscious mind. 'Come on let's get you inside and warmed up. Alice probably left you some clothes'. Bella squeezed my hand as if trying to give herself the boost to move, taking a deep breath and exiting the car. Her breathing increased becoming shallow and pained. Edward had left and now I was taking her into his home an hour or two later. For an empath I could be emotionally insensitive at times. For us however, there was no other way.

I opened the door to the house and motioned for Bella to follow me up the stairs. The house still had a lot of our possessions. I tried not to let the venom coat my eyes as memories of my life here with my wife and family assaulted me. Emmett and I were due to return in a few days to finish the packing and remove all traces of us ever being here. At the time we'd made those plans I believed I would have Alice to come home to. However, circumstances change and here I am back at our home. One of the many I had shared with my wife; memories of her bouncing around at her usual excitement level giving me an unnatural high due to my gift; running through the forest together at full vampire speed, feeling the joy radiating between us.

There were days when we would lay together on the bed naked and watch the sun rise as I caressed her bare stomach. Those were moments that were not the least bit sexual, but completely intimate, making me feel as if I belonged to someone completely in every sense of the word.

All of that was gone now and I blocked those thoughts and concentrated on Bella's needs.

It was safer to take her to a neutral room. Esme and Carlisle had a large ensuite shower room. It lingered with the scent of Esme's expensive French perfume, the smell immediately reminding me of my vampire mother and our last embrace. Her ivory silk dressing gown laid across the chaise longue, haphazardly placed as if she was coming home. I wasn't sure who I missed most from my family in that moment. I loved them all so dearly.

I returned to the present and the situation before me. I was thankful for Bella's sake, we had left the electric, gas and water supplies connected in Edward's haste to leave. My anger and bitterness with the situation I found myself in returned tenfold. The vision of the twigs and foliage in Bella's hair added to my already brooding agony. Her tears fell in silent rivers as she caught sight of her own reflection. I handed Bella the towels from the first drawer of Esme's bathroom dresser as my phone beeped a tune that today was fast becoming irritating, every time it went off there was some kind of trouble. Alice alerted me to someone that had escaped my attention.

Charlie.

I would make the call while Bella showered. The poor girl had been through enough today without a potentially irate father laying down the law. I had spoken to Charlie in the waiting room in Pheonix. He thanked me for staying with him as Bella's recovery was monitored by the doctors. I had helped to calm him. He believed it was my words, but I couldn't watch this man suffer, so I helped him with my gift. I provided the hope and reassurance he needed. I could tell how much his daughter meant to him. She meant so much to all of us.

I spoke gently hoping not to incite the panic that was sure to follow once she realised her Dad would be home from work. 'Bella, we need to call your father to let him know where you are.' Panic engulfed me like wildfire from the girl before me.

'Oh my God, Dad! He'll be worried sick.' I sent calming waves in her direction. A mumbled thank you from Bella gave me confirmation I was doing the right thing. She grabbed her phone from a jacket pocket and started to dial. I took it from her hands, fully prepared for the fatherly onslaught, 'You shower, I'll call.' If he was going to be upset he could be upset at me, Bella had had enough emotional upheaval for one day.

The dial tone had started before the bathroom door had shut, giving us both privacy. I wanted to protect Bella from any emotional fallout that may occur with her father due to her disappearing for a few hours. This man cared so deeply for his daughter; I was sure his own stress and worry would cause him to overreact to the situation. I reluctantly waited for the Chief to answer.

The tenor of his voice was more rattled than Bella had been seconds ago. True fatherly concern caused his words to spew from his mouth at almost vamp speed, 'Bella, where are you? I've been worried sick. What were you thinking walking in the woods? You are in so much trouble young lady.' He was running out of breath. I respected this man for not yelling, something my human father would have done. He would have taken the strap to me to, something that I still remembered even as a vampire. It was now or never-I needed to let him know that Bella was out of harm's way. Well, at least as much as it was possible for Bella to be out of harm's way. I was just as much of a danger to her if not more so.

'Chief Swan. It's Jasper Hale.' He went to cut me off while I focused myself on remaining polite, 'Bella is safe. She fell in the woods. I'm letting her get cleaned up at my place, she's a little shaken.' I didn't want to give too much detail, half-truths were easier for humans to remember. I made a note to tell Bella the alibi later. She could fill in what details she needed.

'Thank you.' I could almost feel the relief flood through him him as he spoke. Warmth flooded through me; for once I had been the knight in shining armour, proud to have saved at least one father the agony of the loss of a beloved child tonight. Carlisle-my own "father"-would be suffering with and trying to comfort Esme grieve the departure of three of her children. And in his attempts to comfort his mate, he would have to cope with his own pain.

'I thought the Cullen's had left?' Charlie's defensive tone alerted me to another issue I didn't want to explain. News always did travel fast in small towns such as Forks. It wasn't something I really wanted to discuss. The wounds were too fresh.

'They have. Things at home are a little strained.' That was such an understatement but he didn't need to know the full details, our family were very private people. 'It was difficult to live under the same roof as Alice after our break up. I'm taking a year out to explore different colleges to go to.' He was silently digesting my words. I was glad of his patience, and he didn't seem to like to pry. Bella seemed like him in so many ways. 'I didn't think it was right that we all leave so suddenly when Bella was such an important part of our lives. I wanted to come home.' I had never spoken truer words in my existence. Though it was not a conscious decision to come back, it was definitely the right one. A decision I could never regret making no matter what it cost me.

'Ok son. You make sure she's ready. I'll be there in a few minutes to collect her.' I had to think quickly. Things needed to be discussed before Bella went home.

'Is it ok if I drive her back? There are some things I would like to discuss with her about the family's departure?' I prayed he would agree. Bella needed to understand, the only person that wanted to leave her was Edward. She had been accepted as a member of the family almost from the moment Edward decided to pursue her. Alice had seen the future and we accepted her with open hearts.

'Fine but call before you set off... and don't make it too late it's a school night.' I internally chuckled at that, Charlie was such a father even in his awkwardness. I thanked him and hung up. Grateful that Bella had someone in her life who would always be there for her no matter what.

I felt and smelt Bella's presence behind me, the fresh scent of Esme's honeysuckle shampoo bathed the room in sensual comfort. Locking gazes I could see the red around her brown orbs had faded, but only slightly. The man in me enjoyed the moment of being in a woman's company, for no other reason but companionship in his darkest hour. The predator in me purred at the sight before me, a young human flushed from a shower, blood pumping under the thin veil of skin. I had good control of him and He was not a danger to her in any way at the moment; he was like a wine connoisseur sampling the bouquet of the most delicious wine. It was something to be savoured.

Bella had ventured into Edward's room after her shower. She was now wrapped in his large black fluffy dressing gown. I sensed a form of comfort from her as she lifted the collar and inhaled deeply. Surely a dressing gown couldn't have that effect? The scent of it somehow making her feel closer to him.

I sat on the sofa and motioned for Bella to join me. Hoping we could both survive what had happened to us and what the future may hold. Her scent barrelled into me as wet hair swung over her shoulder. I held my breath to centre myself, knowing that her proximity would stir the bloodlust in me. I also knew that I would not fail her again no matter how great the struggle with my monster." Realising that this was the first time I had reacted to the bloodlust since returning to her. The earlier protectiveness and sense of comradeship seemed to control the monster in me. However, the scent of the wine had now overtaken all his senses, so delicious, warm and fragrant. The craving so deadly an alcoholic wouldn't be able to resist a taste. However, I was stronger, protecting the innocent and vulnerable girl before me.

Once back in control I asked if she'd like anything to drink, berating myself for my lack of control before returning with her requested glass of water in a second. This couldn't be put off any longer. I needed to emotionally influence the situation to ensure this was as easy as possible for the both of us. Taking a deep breath to start the conversation, a human trait I had retained, I immediately regretted it as Bella's scent again permeated my senses like lava. The feelings of self-loathing built as I remembered that the more intense version of her scent, her blood, was the reason she was left with me, here, tonight, and alone.

Bella took the lead, trying to defuse the discomfort she could see I was in, and instantly knowing its cause – her!

'Did you mean what you just said to Charlie?' I felt her inquisitiveness. She was genuinely interested in the answer. There was a small amount of apprehension as if she didn't want to believe I came back because of her.

'Yes Alice and I are no longer together. She sent me back as I am the only one who can protect you.' I silently added in my head _and stay alive_. She had no need for the horror stories from my past, at least not right now. Her hurt was evident, feelings of inferiority and anger brewing slowly in the already tense atmosphere. 'Edward asked us to leave and we did, but you are a part of our family too, we couldn't stay away it wasn't fair on any of us. Edward has moved so many times before for others mistakes' I couldn't bear to tell her how many were mine, 'we were obliged to do this for him, no matter how much it hurt.'

Pausing to give her time to digest the words and the accompanying emotions I took her hand ready to amplify my gift as needed. 'Alice told me where to find you.' She didn't pull away, which had to be a good sign considering the bombshells that had just been dropped. 'I have always kept my distance, because Edward asked me to, but I'd like for that to change. It's going to be very lonely for me here Bella. I could use a friend.' I felt as lost and confused as she did. Both abandoned by the ones we love if for very different reasons. Our loves had previously kept us apart for Bella's safety and here I was saving her.

'Jasper, you and Alice are mates. I can't allow you to do this.' As much as Bella was grateful for having me here with her, she was always so selfless; giving up her needs for the needs of others. For once I had returned the karmic favour. I was sacrificing my own happiness, because of my own bloodlust, to try to protect her and help her move on. As an empath I felt how hurt she was, and therefore how much she needed me. I needed her support just as much. I hoped I could be strong enough for her.

'I've told you before Bella. You are worth it.' I wasn't sure what reaction I had expected but her pained emotions remained constant. Bella was so different from anybody I had ever met. When Bella was with Edward I would monitor her from around the house, I experienced her frustrations, her hope, her joy and most of all her love; a love that for the moment was consumed by hurt and disbelief. I hoped to provide her some form of comfort. She wasn't going through this alone.

If Edward had his way we would all be out of her life forever. 'The family want you to know that they miss you and will be in touch soon. They just want to give you time to adjust to the situation.' My phone beeped again; my wife was fast becoming a target for my anger, but I would control myself for now. If Alice wanted to be involved she should have come back, instead of throwing me away like a used toy. I knew it was petty but I couldn't help wishing that she would leave me alone for a while and let me process the loss of us, instead of wanting to still control me and my situation. I knew she was using her gift to protect us, but I needed space.

I opened the text and passed the phone to Bella. She could read the message. I didn't want to deal with any of this now. For someone immune to human frailty I was fast getting a headache.

**Bella – Look after Jasper. I know things don't make sense right now but it's for the best. Edward lied, he loves you v much. You can do so much better. Love Alice x**

'But not enough to stay'. I was pulled from my own turmoil by her words. What did she mean by that? I reached for the phone anxious to find the reason for her observation, She spoke as I read the text, her voice low, 'that isn't Alice's decision to make.' Her emotions mirrored her exhaustion. This was difficult for us both, losing so much and having to work out where to go from here. It was too soon to contemplate that last part we both needed time to grieve.

'Bella,' I grabbed her hand and her eyes turned to me, her warmth again radiated my skin, with each touch I was finding it easier to be near her without the guilt burning me alive. The bloodlust had even become a mild burn. 'What did Edward say to you?' did I want to know? Could I control my temper? She was innocent in all of this, she gave herself to him and he betrayed her in the most profound way – he abandoned her. That's not love it's stupidity.

'He said he didn't want me, that he didn't love me, I was a distraction.' The tears fell freely as I pulled her into an awkward hug, hoping that her closeness would give me some semblance of control. The final part broke me, 'he said it would be like he never existed.' I felt her pain. My brother was an idiot. I felt his resolve and heartbreak when he told us we were leaving. He had changed so completely after meeting Bella. This separation would kill him. I would ensure that she came through it stronger.

'Bella. That's impossible, I'm an empath, I feel how much you love him. Those feelings don't just disappear.' I hoped that the words would provide some relief as my gift of empathy flooded the room with comfort, love and understanding. Praying that it may influence us both.

'It's ok I'm human, according to Edward I'm easily distracted. I'm a teenager I'll get over it.' I cared for this girl, she was family and I knew if Emmett found this out he would give Edward a firm 'talking' to, possibly with the removal of some very intimate body parts. I pulled away from our soothing embrace but allowed the emotions to hang around us.

'Bella you may be human but you have strong feelings to too. I don't know what he was thinking.' I saw her attempt a smile; it was heartbreakingly unsuccessful. I soldiered on, 'He's hurt and this is the hardest thing Edward has ever done. He's still 17 underneath his many years and he's inexperienced. You are the first woman he has ever loved Bella. He did this to protect you. I don't agree with how he did it, but he's still my brother.'

Her tears were still falling in rivers. I asked if she'd like me to take stronger control of her emotions so we could finish the conversation. She refused, needing to feel the depth and breadth of everything. Hoping that by suffering she could come to terms with the loss of her first love. I admired her strength and courage to deal with the situation head on and not wallow in her own self-pity.

'Bella before I take you home I need to ask you one more thing.' I knew this would either cause her pain or happiness. 'Alice and the family have sent me to take you back to them, to us. You know of our world and it's too dangerous to leave you unprotected. Vampires have laws and you knowing about us has broken one of them. This is the most prominent law for our kind and breaking it is very dangerous to all involved. You have to be turned or killed. If the Volturi find out they will kill you before I get a chance to save you. They act first and ask questions later. Humans mean very little to them but food.'

Bella's curiosity was piqued;, such a strange reaction. 'So you would turn me?' I had always thought that she wanted to turn in order to be with Edward. Was that the real reason? The only reason? There was no hesitating this response, she would have a choice and either way I would be there to protect her, 'If that's what you wanted.' 'Thank you!' Her emotions were beautiful in that moment. Complete gratitude flooded over me, blanketing me in sincerity.

There were so many things that she could be grateful for: I had to better understand what she was referring to, 'For?'

'Giving me the choice,' a comforting silence fell for a few seconds while she digested the enormity of the situation. She was able to cope with things so final as life and death, but a broken heart seemed to swallow her, 'I'm not ready to choose just yet.'

'Either way Bella we will need to leave Forks to protect your friends and family.' Her pain returned full force. My family had entered her life and unknowingly taken everything away from her. I felt ashamed of our selfish actions. We had known the risks but Bella hadn't. 'The Volturi can't be led here or there will be a blood bath. Your fate may be sealed but your father and friends can be saved.' This would be the hardest thing Bella would have to do. Being separated from everyone she knew never to return. The Cullen's and myself had no choice when we entered this life, no chance to digest the reality of giving up everything we had known. Human memories faded, most lost in the change. Bella didn't have the comfort of memory loss right now, which would be a burden to her until her human death.

'My life just gets better and better.' Bella's frustration was now being verbalised around her pain. The thought of her family and friends being hurt was the only time she had the sense to prevent and avoid danger. I attempted a smile at her, amused and grateful for her sense of loyalty.

'Welcome to the real world of myths, legends and monsters.' The sarcasm dripped into my words. The weight of the reality of this whole mess began to cause the headache to return. I expected Bella must be physically exhausted. As if on cue she yawned.

'I preferred the fairy tale.' The sombre atmosphere was becoming unbearable. I felt this girls pain, mirroring the pain felt by my family as I had left and I knew the importance of returning Bella to them, now more than ever.

'Yeah happily ever after feels impossible doesn't it' Her non-answer was the only confirmation I needed. 'Come on let's get you home.' Panic swept the room and if I hadn't been sitting I would be on my knees from the emotional onslaught.

'I'm not leaving Forks Bella.' She looked like a lost child, her tear stained eyes begging, pleading with me, 'not without you I promise.' The gravity of those words was not lost on either of us. It was a promise to myself as well as her. I pushed my feelings at her to express my honesty. I could still feel a small amount of doubt radiating from her even after doubling the intensity of my power.

The journey to her home was quiet, but the silence wasn't awkward like expected. Charlie had been grateful for Bella's call as we left the house. Her emotions were still full of loss, anger, hurt and a little piece of hope. Part of me wanted to tell her that she would see Edward again. I knew their love was strong but now wasn't the time to voice that. Unsure if I could cope with more tears from her or the emotional onslaught that accompanied it. My vampire senses had taken a full battering today and I needed to hunt. My empathic gift could cause me so much strain that I had to shut it down occasionally.

The front door of the Swan house was open before the car even came to a stop. Charlie was already half way down the drive and had Bella pulled from the car into an embrace within seconds. His concern and love as evident in his actions as his emotions. He looked over Bella's shoulder to me. His honest eyes conveying what he didn't need to say. 'Thank you for finding her'. I nodded and smiled. No words would accurately convey what I wanted to say either. The emotions were thick and for once I was happy to feel them. If I hadn't been here today the emotions would have been very different. His concerned yet stern fatherly voice returned as he spoke to his daughter, 'Bella don't you ever scare me like that again. What were you thinking?'

'Sorry Dad.' With that they turned and headed towards the house. I wasn't sure whether to say goodbye now or walk with them. I had to stay until I knew she was safe in her bed, unable to rest until I was certain. Bella's sense of loss barrelled into me as she walked further away. I knew her wounds were fresh, and my brother had fractured the little self-esteem she had. I would make her understand. I would be back tomorrow.

Entering the house I turned to the beautiful yet broken brunette a slight smile gracing my face, sending her waves of reassurance and familial love. 'Good night Bella.'

She shocked me as she placed her arms around my neck. I tensed slightly waiting for the bloodlust to take over, I was in such close proximity to her carotid artery, 'Thank you Jasper' I knew she meant that on so many levels, feeling her open acceptance of everything that I was or would ever be. When she needed me the most I had been here for her.

'You're welcome Bella.' The comfort the embrace provided was too much for me to take in at that moment. Warmth and hope enveloped the air around us, feelings that had not seemed possible a few hours ago. This woman was hard to be around. Her feelings were so untainted, so innocent. They pulled me to her in a way I had not noticed until today. Had Edward realised the potential from my thoughts and kept us apart on purpose? Never allowing us to be friends?

As much as I was missing Alice I had a feeling that Bella would turn my entire world upside down and cause me to bare my soul. Her honest emotions and complete trust in those she shouldn't, namely vampires, made her seem so pure, something that I had not experienced since my human days. The vulnerability she exhibited was stirring both the predator and the man. I slowly pulled away trying not to prolong the physical contact any longer.  
>Something about that hug had caused an unwelcome shift inside me.<br>I had felt minute changes since I returned.  
>I was being pulled in various directions.<br>My being waiting to snap once the final cord was severed, I wasn't sure what was happening. I felt conflicting emotions bearing down on me.  
>I knew I would have to think about this later.<p>

Kissing her father goodnight Bella smiled at the both of us and headed up to bed, unaware of my internal struggles. I stood there and waited for the bedroom door to shut, making sure she was safe before leaving. I felt very protective of her. Although we weren't close we had been through a lot in Phoenix, her birthday and now today. None of them were particularly good times, but there was time to change that. After all she would be with us for eternity, Alice had seen it. Thinking of Alice again made me ache. I must have been projecting as Charlie broke me from my reverie.

'Are you ok Jasper?' His concern was a pleasant surprise and I was very grateful for it. Not many other than my immortal family had shown any concern for me. I could see where Bella had inherited her compassion.

'Just been a tiring few days.' He was as perceptive as Bella, as he read what those words truly conveyed.

'It gets easier.' I was moved by his words, his understanding and acceptance of me warmed my heart. I shrugged not wanting the venom to return to my eyes especially in front of a human man, as again my own emotions at recent events came back full force. I knew he was referring to Renee. I had seen the way he still looked at her in Phoenix.

'I hope you're right.' knowing it would take time, but at least I wouldn't be brooding on my own. Having always been a loner I now craved company. Hoping Bella and Charlie wouldn't mind me visiting them often. They were the perfect balm and distraction to my own woes.

'You seem a lot older than your years Jasper.' If only he knew, I was old enough to be his great Grandfather several times over. Would that knowledge give the Chief a heart attack? My internal smile was joined by a small half-hearted external one.

'I suppose I am.' There was a comfortable silence between us. I turned to leave. I didn't want to out stay my welcome on the first day.

'Good night Jasper, and thank you for bringing her home safely. She's all I've got.' In that moment I understood him perfectly. He was a good man who would do anything for those he loved, a mirror image of myself in so many ways, just a human version, with no monster hiding in the shallows of the conscious mind. Charlie's uncertainty made me stay for a moment longer. He had more to say but wasn't sure how to voice it. 'If you need anything, you let me know. I don't like the thought of you being in that house on your own.' I chuckled, seeming more like my human age than my vampire one. The Chief didn't seem impressed.

'It's ok Charlie. I know how to look after myself.' I smirked internally. If only he knew how well I could look after myself.

'Still I'd feel more comfortable knowing you had some support. Tell Carlisle and Esme that I'll be looking out for you. I know if Bella was in your position I would feel better knowing someone was on hand to help.' I smiled. This man was as a true father. His moral code etched in every fibre of his being. I felt a strange sort of bond with this man. One I hoped I could keep.

'Thank you Chief.' With that I left and headed into the woods to hunt. Time around Bella had made the bloodlust bearable but I was not taking any chances, my monster was unpredictable. I also needed to let instinct take over and clear the emotional fog from my mind.

Two elk were the prize for letting the predator loose. I began walking further into the forest enjoying the cool night air. It was freeing to be at one with nature again. I was beginning to return to myself. Hunting was as therapeutic to vampires as sleep was to humans.

Suddenly the wind changed direction, as my phone began to ring. It was too late, the fusty smell assaulted my nostrils before the end of the first buzz. I turned and found myself standing face to face with a wolf. Knowing without looking at the phone that Alice had seen this moment, I silently prayed that Bella and Charlie would be safe and look after each other. I knew with all certainty that my family would console my wife and help her through her pain.

I was a seasoned warrior, skilled in many types of battle. I wasn't going down without a fight.

**I know I'm cruel but you love me for it. Any ideas on what will happen? I know where this is going. I'm just intrigued by your opinions. **

**I'm working on chapter 4 already so will try and post it soon. But in the meantime check out the citrusy one shot – Friend in Need. It's had a great response so I have agreed to make it a full blown story after SID is finished.**

**If you've taken time to read, then please take the time to review. They really mean the world to me.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I loved writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. **

**A big cyber hug to my Beta Twilightbloom and all my reviewers from chapter 3: Cassandra96, kittylover93, Hisuiko, Cathy29jes, filmdork, Trueskye, ccgnme, 01katie, krystal214, katandjasper, kayjay112, Kathy Heister, cosmoGirl666, Frau-Sorge. Although I haven't had a chance to respond to you all individually I promise I read every review and cherish the words you write. There were some great guesses for where the story is going, but I'm not giving any clues just yet. I'm sure you'll enjoy the journey.**

Feral snarls marred the air as we circled each other; a tower of black fur moved in perfect sync with my stone cold body, set on its apparent quest to end me. Two beings stuck in an endless dance for power; waiting for the first violent blow to fall. I was grateful of my fighting experience in the Southern Wars, and being here in striking distance of a potential new enemy I found myself indebted for the experiences that formed the strong and cunning vampire I am today. I was physically strong. Yet with the addition of my gift I had yet to be defeated in all my vampire years. My ability made it impossible for others to get closer than I was comfortable with. The only being that had come close was Peter when he came back to free me from Maria.

The scarred and battered Captain had returned after I allowed him and Charlotte to leave the confines of the camp, knowing they would never return. Maria had blamed several guards rather than give me the punishment I deserved. I was forced to torture new-borns for days as an example to the others as well as myself. She expressed her dissatisfaction with my actions and was adamant that I would not be given another chance and any further insubordination would be dealt with in the extreme, no matter how valuable I was to her. She had threatened to deny me blood in an effort to teach me a further lesson, she denied me one meal to prove her point, knowing that if I was needed a quick feed would take me back to my full strength. I am evil when angry, and my own disappointment in my actions caused my former self to become a sadistic torturer; burning new-borns piece by piece over days to keep myself from tearing into my mistress or any other unfortunate being that crossed my path.

Peter had returned shortly after. My temper and spirits frayed to such an extreme I wished to re-earn my place in my mistress's good graces through any means imaginable. Peter explained his non-confrontational life outside the camp. I could not fathom this possibility and could not even contemplate he was telling the truth, no matter how much my gift proved him right. I was angry at him for leaving and putting me in this position of torturing and emotional neglect by my mistress. I believed Maria had recaptured the deserter and sent him to torture me. Overcome with extreme anger I lurched towards him. I was no match for his abilities in my mentally weakened state. I had taught him everything he knew. My only valid defense, my gift, dropped him to his knees in spasms of pain.

Somehow after the encounter he had convinced me to leave. Those actions had been the beginning of my journey; a journey which led me to be in a confrontation with the wolf.

My military training and experience had prepared me well. The wolf did not appear to be a seasoned fighter; his erratic actions and instinctual posture gave all the indication I needed. I could tell by his stance and movements that he was like a new-born; looking for the obvious strike, one that he hoped would disable me before finishing me. New-borns generally rely on pure power and strength to incapacitate their opponent. This wolf was no different; he looked for an inlet to disarm any risk of attack. Knowing that if he caught me from behind he could behead me with one move. I could tell there would be no skill in his violence, just brute strength. I was thankful for years of sparring with Emmett, his posture and demeanour similar to the wolf. Both relied on their physical attributes – the wolf its teeth and Emmett his crushing arms to weaken or harm me. I began to feel comfortable in the situation.

I hoped I could end this quickly and return to Bella unscathed. However much I favoured my chances. I knew there was a death for everyone at some point; mine had been foreseen by my wife. Alice's call had been trying to warn me, but the decision by the wolf to attack must have been a last minute decision. I would take no chances, ensuring my survival for tonight. I could not abandon Bella in her darkest hour. Charlie and my family would never forgive me.

I was growing weary of his lack of attack. I would ensure this beast never lived to attack another; especially the Swan's or Cullen's this situation was the Quileute breaking the treaty. The first blow would sever any threads of diplomacy on all sides. I felt his mood shift from curiosity and annoyance to determination and anger; a potent cocktail for a fighter. I gave myself over to my instincts, allowing my inner predator free, giving the monster full reign in the interest of self-preservation. I needed to be on full alert and this was the only way. It had been similar with James. I had only thought of Bella's safety as we tore that demon to shreds. There was something about this girl that drew you in and it wasn't her blood. She had an air about her so warm and accepting of everyone whether they had earned it or not. I realised in the moment before the monster took control that I had only been thinking of Bella as my life was potentially about to end. Alice had barely been a whisper in my consciousness. I put that down to needing to protect Bella. My whole thought process was finished in a matter of seconds thanks to my enhanced mental ability.

I was now prepared for the duel with this potential enemy. I pushed all thoughts and feelings from my mind just as the black wolf lunged in my direction.

I leapt to the side narrowly missing the mutt's teeth, spinning around ready to offer a counter attack; a highly practiced but deadly blow to the back of its neck. My own demon growled in defiance as I heard a voice I did not recognise, 'Paul STOP!' the wolf turned and froze in its aggressive stance. Still on high alert but almost unable to move. I came back to my senses, letting conscious thought back in as I assessed the changing situation; tasting the air for emotions, giving me greater understanding and control of the situation if needed.

I turned slightly to see who the voice was coming from. I recognised one of the men from the edge of the forest from earlier tonight. He was the tallest and the broadest of them. His emotions spoke of authority, but held an air of sadness, worry and anger. A smaller brown wolf walked at his side. The emotions of the pack seemed to be in sync. I filed that away for what I hoped would be a future conversation with Carlisle. I was outnumbered and if I was to fall tonight, the chances of which had increased, I would take the stationary tower of fur with me. He had irritated me on a base level and I wanted to take a chunk of him for making an already bad few days worse. I internally smiled at the thought as my beast began to rejoice at my plan.

'The Treaty shall not be broken', the man seemed to be commanding the wolves. Was this some form of mind control? Or was it a demonstration of great leadership? I would revisit that thought later with Carlisle. It would appear this beast had some form of moral code. I respected him for his control. I was thankful for Carlisle's foresight and for his diplomatic skills that created the Treaty. It would ensure my safety tonight, and also buy me time to ensure Bella's safe return to my family. I decided to increase my chances as the wolf beside me relaxed, courtesy of my gift. I threw the same calming emotions in the direction of the other two, buying valuable time to escape and grab Bella if things took an unforeseen turn.

The wolf beside me, feeling uneasy at my manipulation, backed up and returned to the rest of his pack. The man stepped forward, the russet skin of his chest gleaming in the moonlight. He approached me, the other wolves firmly flanking him, protecting their leader, ready to risk themselves if the need arose. Their emotions portrayed the depth of their commitment to this man, of what he stood and fought for, what they were willing to die for.

I remained silent, waiting and observing every little move and emotion coming from the pack. My gift was very valuable in these types of situations; I would continue to monitor their emotions until I was safely out of their vicinity. My defence would remain up until I was completely satisfied this would end amicably.

'Cullen, you and your family left. Why have you returned?' his voice held an air of authority. I could respect a man with a direct approach, even if I did not trust him. I knew that a leader must be confronted respectfully but with equal authority. I would not allow him any indication that he could dominate me. As far as he was aware he remained firmly in control of the situation. I on the other hand knew I was controlling it and would be able to drop all 3, with an excruciating blend of emotions, in a split second before ending their existences. However, I felt this was not in my best interests. My internal beast was acting like a foghorn against any potential threats and was now fully on alert. He did not sense immediate danger. This was something I would never question, he had guided me to victory on many occasions and I trusted his judgement.

'I owe you no explanation for my return.' While my actions were none of his business, he needed to understand that I viewed him as an equal, not my superior. As one who had led many armies, I was acutely aware of the consequences of bowing down to his request. I felt disbelief and a small amount of respect from this man. 'However, I am willing to say, I am here to ensure Bella's safety. After being caught up in my world there are potential dangers that you know nothing about.' I remained defensive, sure that these beasts would be wiped out instantly by a Volturi attack. I took stock of the pack's emotions continuing to monitor them. Their emotions remained a constant cocktail of anger, distrust and my artificially generated calm.

'We are not here to fight.' His gaze turned to the black wolf who had attacked me minutes before. The wolf bowed his head in submission, however his eyes never left me. The gesture portrayed his willingness to show his place to his pack, but remaining in control to attack me if needed. Maybe he wasn't as inexperienced as I first thought.

The man spoke again, 'your kind has been coming through here over the last few days; one scent we know most are new.' I thought of the man's words. I had not caught any fresh scents since my return. What did he mean by one scent they knew? I had come alone. Did that mean Victoria and Laurent had returned? Theirs were the only other vampire scents we had picked up for months. A feeling of unease swept through me. Something was out of place. I needed to know who these vampires were and if they posed a threat to Charlie or Bella.

'I'm willing to liaise with you to ensure the safety of the Swan's. However, I would prefer to deal with my kind on my own.' The tenor of my voice portrayed the finality of my statement; if the scents were familiar there was a chance one of the family acquaintances had returned. If it was a family friend I did not owe it to them to ensure their safety, though I would for Carlisle's sake.

'We are here to protect the WHOLE town. Bella is very important to Charlie and therefore to us. It would appear we have a common goal.' He was as wary as I was. How one human girl could have such a hold over supernatural creatures was a puzzle, but that hold may have saved some lives tonight. I was very grateful for her at this moment.

'Apparently so. I would like to smell the trails of the other vampires. Ensure that they are not familiar to me.' There was a mutual respect between us, one I faintly admired. This man had strong morals, ones which ran through the depth of his very being, he was willing to risk everything he was for what he believed in. It was the sign of a truly great leader, a leader much like myself.

Their leader responded, 'while the Cullens remain protected if any human drinkers set foot on our land they shall be ended, with no questions asked.' I could agree to that. Peter and Charlotte were still in Texas, though they were capable of looking after themselves, should the need arise. No other non-vegetarians mixed with us on a regular basis. After the James incident, the wolves might actually be helping me, giving me more time to protect Bella.

I nodded my agreement to his terms. I just had to keep reminding myself I was doing this for Bella and my family. No matter how much I knew about these creatures from Carlisle, there was no way I would socialise with them on any level unless needed. If they protected their land, I would protect ours. Only merging when the need was desperate.

The man seemed appeased by my co-operation. 'The scents lead to the treaty line. Follow me.' I did as he asked. Keeping my distance from the other two that followed; always aware of exactly where they were, whether with my gift or my enhanced senses. My past fighting experiences had taught me always to be on alert, always know your enemy. Were these creatures my enemy? I was beginning to doubt that we would be enemies as long as I remained vegetarian; something I was doing for myself after the birthday incident. Could they be trusted? I had a feeling that for the sake of Bella they could. Only time would be able to prove whether my instincts were correct. The only niggling doubt I had was Alice's visions of my death. I would remain guarded for the sake of everyone I loved.

I monitored the man's emotions; tasting his confidence and approval of my actions. I knew he wouldn't trust me either, however, I sensed hope. Hope that he would be able to work and fight alongside me if the situation arose, my feelings mirrored his perfectly. He had been paying attention to the confrontation between me and the wolf I now knew as Paul. No matter people's backgrounds a unified goal solidified even the most volatile bonds, into threads of comradeship. Only time would tell if this would be our destination.

As we approached the treaty line I gave the wolves permission to cross, as they returned the gesture. This would only be tolerated for the purpose of the investigation. I refused to relax, still guarding myself subconsciously. They could tell by my stance that I would not ease until the threat had been eliminated. The threat had moved from being them, to the potential vampires that had wandered onto our combined territories.

The scents were unfamiliar. 'Probably nomads. They often wander into habitations when they sense others near. They must have been curious.' Giving the wolves as much information as necessary; unwilling to give more until I was fully aware of their trustworthiness. One was very much working towards that honour. However, Paul needed constant calming vibes. He was irritating and I knew even a tentative relationship with him would be difficult.

I led them back to Cullen land. I picked up a very familiar scent. One I believed I would not smell again for a long time. I had prayed that I would have time to heal before seeing this person again. The now familiar ache coursed through my body for the person I would love in some form for eternity – 'Alice.'

The wolves were familiar with this scent, knowing that my wife had come back. I felt a sense of betrayal as I replayed her words in my head. 'We lose you…. Jasper when you leave this house you leave me forever.' Yet she was here following, knowing the risk to her own life. Anger seeped down to my core as I registered the danger she had put herself in while I tried to keep her safe. I needed answers.

I picked up my phone and walked away from the pack. Their curiosity piqued but they remained respectful and allowed me privacy. I kept them in view as I speed dialled my wife. She answered on the first ring. Her screeching sobs were the first sound to assault my eardrums. 'Alice.' My voice was tense. I should have been more worried about her, but at this moment the anger was winning knowing that there was no immediate threat to her safety. I would pack her away from Forks before morning, ensuring that she was out of the unknown situation. I had enough to look after with Bella. An additional distraction, in the form of my wife, could result in casualties of those I loved and cared for deeply.

'Jasper.' A wave of complete disbelief filled that one word, as her sobs softened in volume, their frequency remained constant. 'I thought I had lost you. You disappeared from my visions. Where were you?' So her thoughts had only been of my safety. My heart swelled at the thought of how much she was willing to risk for me. However, I owed the family, Alice and Bella more than to allow her to do that. I would get the answers I needed and instigate the clean break that we all needed to get on with our existences.

I kept my voice level, scared to allow my emotions to show for fear of breaking the very frail wall I'd built to protect my un-beating heart. I needed to give up my love for a second time. However, this would be on my terms. 'Alice. Meet me at the house. I know from your scent that you are minutes away.' She would have some explaining to do. My heart, however concealed, broke for her. Knowing she would see my intentions through a vision; making her pain double as she would relieve it minutes from now.

A brief and soft 'I love you' was all I heard as the phone hung up. I would amicably end this encounter with the wolves then make my way home to my soon-to-be ex-wife. Alice had wanted Bella and the family safe. She made the decision to send me back as no one else could create the future she had foreseen. I'm sorry Alice, but you will have to accept the consequences of your actions and choices.

**Not so much of a cliffie for this chapter. If you liked it review, if you didn't like it review. Your comments help me to become a better writer.**

**I'll be as quick as I can with the next chapter, I won't keep you waiting too long.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the delay. I know its a few days late but I've been working long hours and probably will be for the foreseeable future. I promise to update as soon as I can. I've already started work on the next chapter.**

**Special thank you's to my wonderful beta Twilightbloom and all of my wonderful reviewers . I have responded to all my reviews sending you all a PM to thank you, your kind words mean so much. **

**A word of warning some of you may need tissues for this chapter, others will cheer. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, not me, no matter how much I wish it was true.**

Finalising my time with the wolves had been difficult but fruitful. They knew a member of my family was back and from my own shocked and shaken reaction they knew the return was unexpected. I felt their curiosity, but none of them were intrigued enough to voice it, there were more important things to think of, such as Bella's safety. We were not friends and the wolves only saw this as an untimely intrusion in the search for the nomads. Something that was mimicked by my own musings on the matter; Alice would distract me. I would want to be with her in every way possible, putting these trying hours and days behind us. Instead of concentrating on protecting Bella I would want Alice back. I needed to be focused and she was the only thing that could prevent that right now.

Sam assured me that he and the pack would continue on the trail of the other vampires and ensure they did not come close to town. I needed to deal with Alice quickly, feeling the need to put an end to this chapter of my existence as swiftly as possible. Alice had let me go and I believed that to be the end, yet she was back hours later exacerbating my already gaping wounds.

I exchanged numbers with Sam to remain updated on any progress they made. If my family were returning I would let him know immediately so he could pull back their search to the treaty line; until that time I would allow them onto Cullen land. In exchange they would provide a wolf to cover Bella at all times including in the sunlight when I would only be able to watch her covertly.

Sam was an interesting man; my gift allowed me to feel and more importantly, understand that he was strong, confident and fiercely loyal to the pack and to his tribe. As a leader he was impressive; he held unyielding power over his pack, running his troops with precision, knowing their strengths and weaknesses. He handled Paul's recent outburst impeccably. His leadership style, while different from my own during the Southern wars, reflected our similar attitudes in war and conflict. I was acquiring a great deal of respect for him, and with each decision and tactical move he made, he was earning even more.

As I ran towards my family home, thoughts of Bella, the wolves and the current situation we found ourselves in persistently swirled around my brain. I had a lot to figure out and I knew that some time on my own would help me fully digest all of the recent events. However I knew that time alone was not an option right now. I was a strategic thinker and always planned out everything I did in the finest detail. The forthcoming conversation I would have with my wife was the rare exception. I needed to ensure that we both got through this with as little pain as possible, whether with my gift or through my words.

Alice's visions would alert her to my intended conversation with her. I knew she would be heartbroken, something I had promised her on our wedding day that I would not do.

_She was a vision before me, her delicate hands emerging from the long sleeved lace that covered her slender arms. The intricately detailed gold band slid onto her finger effortlessly, as if made to fit her alone. Our amber eyes met. The heavy emotions swirling around us were so intense as we gave ourselves to each other wholeheartedly; knowing this was our forever. Our amber orbs meeting in a tender glance as I whispered my vows to her. Promising to love, honour and cherish her always until death parts us. _

My un-beating heart was constricting in my chest. I knew the conversation would hurt her. It would hurt us both. I knew Alice better than anyone. I could feel the grief and love from her as I passed through the trees and into sight of the glass wall of the living room. My enhanced eyesight immediately picking out the beautiful, petite, dark haired woman dry-sobbing, bent over the sofa as if crippled by her grief, her hands gripping the back of the sofa so hard the leather had ripped. Our eyes linked instantly, tethering me to her again in a way that penetrated every fibre of my soul. I loved this woman with everything I had to give.

There would always be a part of me that was hidden away from others, a form of coping strategy, never allowing myself to be fully controlled by anyone, but she was the only person to ever get close enough that I tried to give that piece away. As a warrior and as a man, the only way to destroy me was through my heart; when I loved, I loved completely, passionately and whole-heartedly. However, following my experiences of death and pain in the Southern Wars I always kept a small piece of myself locked away, unable to give it to anyone no matter how much I tried, not even my wife. This true, un-touched part of my heart was what had enabled me to survive; it would allow me to survive the challenges I knew I would face in the coming days.

In that moment I understood why it was that I was letting her go; I had to release my beloved Alice for her own protection and the protection of my family. Her vision devastated us all; at least I was beginning to understand the "why" and the reason for the sorrow touching us individually and collectively. I would always sacrifice my own happiness to protect those I loved; it was in my nature, reinforced by my training. A part of myself was always held back in self-preservation, knowing that if and when the time came I would gladly endure the pain of my own loss as long as those I loved and cared for were safe and happy.

How I longed to grab my wife in my arms and replay some of our more intimate and passionate memories but I couldn't, everyone's lives depended on me not losing control in any form. I needed to keep control of my emotions before having the most heart wrenching conversation of my life. I became anxious and wary, my internal protective walls constricting impossibly tighter around my dead heart, which seemed to die a little bit more with each step towards the woman I was about to release from the sacred vows of love that we had promised to each other so long ago, vows that we had renewed in body, heart and soul with each shared sunrise.

The door to the house flung open and within a second her delicate and tiny frame was enveloped around my body in the way I loved; wrapping around me like my own personal security blanket. In that moment I very nearly gave her what she wanted; what we both wanted. I sensed hope emanating from her; I felt her love for me and knew that she wanted me back no matter the consequences. Inside I felt the same way, but knew I needed to be strong to save those we both love.  
>I wanted to throw aside everything I had contemplated over the last few hours.<br>I needed to release her from our strong and until recently impenetratable bond no matter how much it tore me apart.

Alice's hands were fisting in my hair as she began to kiss me passionately. I tried to hold back, refusing to let her have the control, she would try anything to keep me, my body and my love for her betrayed me. She was so familiar, her body melding to mine in a dance we had worked at perfecting for over 50 years. After several moments I heard and felt her heart-wrenching sobs as she clung to me harder, realising her final effort to keep me would fail, the delicate fabric of my shirt ripped in her palm as she tried to get closer, needing the comfort only I could provide her. I sent her a dose of calm and love. Our bodies and souls had become so entwined over the years that I could predict her every need. Unfortunately, this was the one time I couldn't provide her what she wanted, and it was tearing me apart piece by incredibly painful piece.

I took her hands and moved them from me, gripping both of them in one of my own and moving away slightly to provide the semblance of distance I needed to get us through this. 'Alice' my throat felt patched but not from a lack of blood. It was as if my throat would not allow me to speak the words to start what we both knew would be the last conversation we would have as man and wife. 'Why are you back?' I tried to hide the hurt from my voice from seeing her so soon after what I believed were our good-byes. We had already said our goodbyes as husband and wife. Doing this a second time was excruciating, but I needed to ensure it would be the last before letting her go on with her existence without me.

'I couldn't see you, Jasper, you disappeared from my visions so many times,' the lightning bolt of her heartbreak touched me with such sadness and force it nearly dropped me to my knees. I wanted to cut her emotions off from my own, but I needed and deserved to feel everything she was experiencing. Her sobs remained constant but diminished in their intensity as she began to tell me of her concerns, as if she was cleansing her heart from the emotions that had almost paralyzed her at the thought of losing me forever to death. 'I had to make sure you were safe. Bella needs you, I need you.' Her words twisted like knives in my gut, 'I knew if I came back the future disappeared completely for me. I had to save you Jasper, no matter what.' The nebulous web of her visions, after Edward told Bella goodbye, had brought everyone's future to an almost standstill. Alice's visions had been intermittent and very confusing to us all. People's futures' were disappearing and reappearing; they were dying yet having a future somewhere down the line. There was something wrong; it didn't make sense even in my high capacity brain.

'Alice,' I still held her hands, massaging her palms to provide what little comfort I could to this breaking woman. My soul ached for this beautiful, breaking woman before me whose love for me was so great that she was willing to die to ensure my own and Bella's safety. The Southern gentleman in me was distraught by this situation; a woman should be cherished, loved and protected. She should not be placed in the position of having to be a sacrifice for the greater good. 'I know you love me, as I love you,' The walls to my emotions thinned slightly as I spoke these words, trying to soften the blow for my Alice, letting her feel that this was hurting me as much as her 'but I can't have you here.' Her pain intensified exponentially but she nodded, foreseeing exactly how this conversation would end, 'I can't protect Bella and Charlie and have you here with me; I would spend my time worrying about you and someone would get hurt.' My hand reached up to brush her cheek. A gentle caress, the prequel to my goodbye, if I didn't let her go completely and forever she would always try and come back, putting her own life at risk. This was my only chance to save her. 'I need you to leave and not come back. I will try my best to bring Bella home safely, but I won't be returning to you, even after this is done.' I let my words sink in. Her sobs became ferocious. I felt like I was lying to myself as well as her. Without this clean break she would always come back for me, and part of me would always want her to.

'Jasper,' her little amber eyes lifted and fixed on my own, her own words not needed as her emotions portrayed everything she couldn't say. She understood, she didn't like it, but she understood. This woman had been so perfect for me in the past. I hoped I could find someone just as special in the future, though it was too early to contemplate that yet. 'There is something I need to tell you before you send me back to the family.' So she had foreseen that and wouldn't argue – she knew I would win. I waited for her to continue, still rubbing her dainty palms with my fingers. Glad that we had continued this conversation outside. I couldn't bear the thought of being in the house replaying a conversation like this with perfect recall every time I entered the room where it had taken place. I was strong but that would be a daily excruciating ritual that would mar me forever.

'The morning you left the family I had a vision of you with someone else, in love with someone else.' My sense of shock permeated the air and I was aware of losing the hold on my emotions. I wanted to know who this apparent person was. I would never have believed it possible to betray Alice in any way, I was a gentleman as well as a loving husband. I also knew better than to bet against my Alice. 'The vision is still, unclear; the other person is undecided but it happens in Forks. Jasper, I know you love me, but we both move on. I've seen it.' I knew she was frustrated. I was acutely aware of the tears she longed to cry that were forever frozen in her tear ducts, tears that would remain un-fallen forever.

'Will you be happy?' I prayed that she would find someone to love her as much as I do, and forever will, though the jealousy at just the thought of that possibility was tearing me apart. Taking a deep calming breath to hold together any semblance of control that remained I hoped for both a positive and a negative answer; but knew that I would be torn by either response.

'I'll try. I have the family. Someday Bella will come back to us and she will make an amazing vampire. I see you both staying for short periods of time. I think it's her newborn year, you never leave her side.' I felt something shift inside me knowing that I would be able to protect Bella, be able to complete the mission and keep her safe. Whatever tightrope I was walking at the minute would ensure her safety. I hoped that my decision today to work with the wolves was the jigsaw puzzle piece that ensured that future. Working with the apparent enemy was not easy, but to gain this future would make every step at Sam's side worth it. I needed to speak to Alice about the wolves.

'Alice what did you see tonight when I was hunting?' my curiosity was rife and I thought there was more to this than either of us knew. The phone call after the interaction with the wolves had made me doubt the clarity of her visions. She had seen me disappear and thought I was dead. Still believing until that call that I was dead.

'You were hunting, the wind changed and then everything went blank.' Interesting. Did she see the wolves?

'Alice, the Quileute's were there. The wind changed and I smelt them.' Could there be a hole in her visions? Did the wolves have some sort of gift to avoid her foresight? I replayed the times over the last day when she had lost her sight; Edward leaving Bella in the woods – could the wolves have found her? Surely Alice would have seen a grieving Charlie if they hadn't? Me entering the town and having to take a detour, could they have been near her house, tracking and patrolling? Things were gradually falling into place. I needed to speak to Carlisle to gain his informed opinion, but I believed Sam may also have some of the answers I needed. Though I wasn't sure if or how I could broach that subject with him.

I must have been thinking for a while, switching off from the conversation, putting together the pieces of the puzzle and what this meant to me, Bella, Charlie and my family. Sometimes Alice's gift was useful other times plain annoying, she would foresee any questions I would ask her and respond before I could voice them. It was a trait that had spanned the whole of our lives together, lives that would now be parted in some form forever. 'Jasper.' I looked at her my own tears clouding my vision, allowing the only person who had ever seen me in this state to see how truly broken I had become, showing the full depths of my own emotional pain. 'Bella will be ok, it will take time. My visions are subjective, but with your friendship she will pull through this.' I squeezed her hands again. The comfort was more for me than her this time. Her subject change working wonders on my control. I took another deep breath, centring myself. Needing to know how my family were coping with this mess.

'How is everyone? I miss them already. Emmett been hunting bears? He loves Alaska.' I was deflecting taking my real question and trying to lighten the mood so the answer wouldn't push me back into emotional despair, which this time would remain internal for both mine and Alice's sake.

'Esme and Emmett are taking this hard. Both just sit there and wait, not knowing what to do with themselves.' I knew they would struggle as they had been the closest to Bella aside from Edward. 'Rosalie has pulled apart and rebuilt the engine on Edward's Aston several times already. She feels guilty for how she treated Bella. I see them becoming quite close in the future.' My apparent twin had surprised me numerous times over the years. While stubborn and hot-headed she was fiercely loyal and if she accepted you she would love you completely. It would seem Bella had now breached her ever hardening walls. Emmett would be so pleased. He often struggled with Rose's animosity towards Bella.

'What about Carlisle and Edward?' Their reactions I would expect. Carlisle would throw himself either into work or showing Esme how much she meant to him, which Alice confirmed was indeed the case. The biggest shock was Edward. I expected him to drown in his own self-pity in his room or his melancholic piano playing. Never did I expect the truth.

'Edward has left the family, he needs time alone.' Alice had not only lost Bella and myself, but also her favourite brother. They had always been so close. This explained the loneliness I felt from her since the moment I returned to the house. Edward was the king of self-loathing and now he had a good reason to do it he would milk it for years to come. 'I see him looking for Victoria, he will hunt her down until Bella is safe.' I nodded, knowing that he wasn't the best tracker after the James incident, but glad that he had given himself something to do. Something that would allow me to keep a closer watch on Forks, rather than go after the red head myself. However I had a plan for making doubly sure that she did not make it to Forks without me knowing about it well in advance. A plan I would implement later.

Our discussion continued, heartfelt and painful, until the early hours. We reminisced about our years together, each gaining closure on our relationship. With Alice in front of me I knew I had made the right decision. At one point I wished I could turn away, unable to soften the impact of delivering the fatal blow to our relationship. I did what, until the last few days, I had thought myself incapable of, I asked Alice for a divorce.

I did not voice the reasons I had contemplated on the way back to the house, knowing she would talk me out of it. Alice had gained control of her emotions after asking for my help; her sobs had dissipated and acceptance took their place. I wanted this conversation to be over. I needed to get back to Bella and check on her. There were feelings flowing through me about this girl, things I had never felt before. My protectiveness I could understand, but I had felt a shift in my being. There was an unexplainable gravitational pull towards her.

These were things I didn't want to explain to my wife. I couldn't bear for her to look at me with understanding, knowing through her gift what the future held. The shame produced with my thoughts was consuming me from within. I usually told Alice everything and after tonight she wouldn't be mine to tell.

As if reading my mind Alice answered my previous thoughts, 'Jasper do you remember the day of the car accident when Edward saved Bella?' I nodded unsure where this was leading, 'We are unchanging creatures, frozen in time from the day we are turned, when Edward met Bella he changed completely.' I knew where this was leading I had felt the shift to, but surely Bella couldn't be the cause. 'I see the same shift in you. Something is changing Jasper, and I can't see what that means to your future. Things are unclear right now.' Just like everything else, Alice seemed to be taking this too well. She had always told me she loved me as I was, even the unsightly scars that marred my entire body. Would this apparent change she saw push us further apart? I felt a twinge of regret. Alice was my best friend for many years. I was not only losing my wife, I would be severing the bonds of our friendship too, until we were both comfortable being around each other again.

I squeezed her hands, saying goodbye once again to the woman I loved. I needed her to leave and let me be with my thoughts for a while; after so many years together, I could feel her understanding of my need for solitude. Despite my desire to be alone, the pain of our imminent parting was burning me alive and if she didn't leave soon, I would be unable to stop myself from breaking, I had been strong for everyone today and there was little hope of any strength remaining, when being forced to watch my heart leave our family home. It would appear there was a breaking point for everyone, my limit had taken over a hundred years to find. I would gladly live through the change again a thousand times than feel this vulnerable and lost, knowing her departure was fast approaching.

I felt her affection as she leant forward and kissed me tenderly on the lips, soft and gentle and so full of love. A kiss I would carry with me to get me through the very desolate near future being alone. As much as I hoped Alice's visions were true, that I would be happy again, I felt a prick of betrayal to Alice. Knowing I would always have a place in my heart for her, but another was out there that would fill the gap she was leaving me with. 'Goodbye Jasper.' Her golden gaze was clouded with venom, 'Goodbye Alice, I love you.'

'I know I love you to, and I always will.' With that she left at vampire speed and vanished as my companion forever. Finally I was on my own. For the first time in my existence I completely broke down, mourning the loss of the woman I had given everything I had to offer. I would allow myself this moment of weakness. Tomorrow I would be strong again, and I would hide behind Bella's pain, giving her the strength she needed to move on, but for now I needed to grieve.

**Thanks to all for reading. Please review and let me know what you think. I have a special spoilery surprise for reviewers of this chapter.**

**I'll try and get the next chapter to you in about 10 days time. Hugs to all x**

**I'm not one to disappoint, the next chapter will see the start of Jasper and Bella's friendship. They will become more, just give it a little time.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys. Sorry about the wait, but you are all being rewarded with the longest chapter yet. I was going to split it into two but I knew you'd appreciate a longer chapter. It gets quite intense in places and I hope you like it.**

**Thanks to everyone for their support. I really love you guys. **

**I'm dedicating this chapter to my beta Twilightbloom and WhitlocksHevyn. You guys rock x**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight much to my own annoyance, I just like to play with other peoples toys.**

**Now on with the story.**

The forest was always quiet this time of night; the peace was exquisite after the turmoil of the last few days. I walked at a steady human pace enjoying the tranquillity of the moment, making my way to check on Bella, taking over surveillance from Paul who had been stationed in the forest near her home since lunchtime.

I had spent the day dealing with my own issues, I felt comfortable with my decisions and was glad I got to say goodbye to Alice properly. I wished Edward had given Bella the same courtesy, rather than using cruel words to crush her.

I hoped Bella had used the time alone to digest her own troubles. When I had stayed with Bella, when Edward needed to hunt, Bella seemed quite comfortable to be on her own with her own thoughts. I understood her introverted character and her contentment with the peace and quiet. I could be around spritely people like Alice, but I thoroughly enjoyed time on my own too. The previous day had been one of those times; I had needed to regroup; to contemplate the wonder and range of varied, complicated and interconnecting emotions that were my life at this moment; close the door on one chapter of my life and look towards a new life that I would create for myself.

I had no control over my life in the Southern wars, and when Alice found me she told me her visions of our lives together. I had followed her without a thought against it, she had offered me a chance at a new life, and I trusted her implicitly. She had never led me in the wrong direction. Yet for the first time in my immortal life I felt freer than I ever had. It scared me slightly, not having the benefit of Alice's foresight, but it also excited me that the unknown waited ahead of me. I had the opportunity to live, make my own mistakes and learn my own way.

I would make sure Bella understood the same thing. I didn't want her to wallow over her loss of Edward, she needed to grow from it. It was not my place to make decisions for her. Edward had done just that and look at the results of his actions. Bella was heartbroken and it would take her longer than a 'normal' teenager to recover, but then Bella had always been different. That was one of the things my family, including myself, liked about her.

In that moment I vowed to always allow Bella to make her own decisions, no matter how much I disagreed with them. A woman such as Bella demanded and deserved respect. I had a feeling, that this would be harder for me than I could fathom. She was always so stubborn, and a trouble magnet.

Her decisions although made with the best intentions and with the warmest of hearts often had some form of trouble attached to them. I would need every ounce of my life experience to help guide her and give her the advice she needed to make the right choices, but ultimately the decision would be hers, and I would stand by her with whatever she chose.

A blood-curdling scream pulled me from my thoughts. My instincts went into high alert and I immediately began to analyse the situation. Before my brain could decipher what was happening, I found myself perched in the tree outside Bella's window peering in at the girl who had just woken from a terrible nightmare.

Her body was shaking as the intense terror and emptiness hit me like a tidal wave from the brown eyed girl. I gripped the tree to keep my composure and also to prevent me from flinging myself through her window to comfort her. I concentrated on Bella's emotional turmoil, setting aside the strength of my own reaction to her pain, knowing I would deal with my own feelings later.

I wanted to go to her, to comfort her. I knew how much she was hurting, feeling her despair and heartache penetrating the air, enveloping me in her distress. I wanted to provide her any form of relief possible; knowing my gift could offer a temporary reprieve to her pain.

However, Bella was always strong willed and would not appreciate my interference without her express permission. She had said as much the other night while sat in my living room. She needed to work through these emotions, but she didn't need to do this alone. I would be there to help her. After all she wasn't the only one with a broken heart. I shoved aside my own pain and concentrated on the person who needed me.

Before I could decide whether to stay or go to her, Charlie entered her room. It had been a little over 24 hours since I had seen him, yet the worry in his face had aged him years in those hours. Bella also looked worn, her face reflecting the misery emanating from her; misery so intense I wondered how she bore it. I watched in awe as Charlie sat next to her on the bed, and pulled her into his arms, rocking her slightly, soothing his distressed child.

"Everything will be ok Bella." Charlie's words were muffled in her hair, as he continued to console his emotionally distraught daughter. As the tears trailed down her cheeks towards her broken heart, I ached to take away this girls pain. She didn't deserve to be left like this. Edward had loved her, and he had left, all because of my own lack of control. I needed to make this up to her. Somehow I would find a way. I knew she didn't blame me, but my own self-loathing would not dissipate until she was content again.

I desperately wanted to project a subtle calm into the room, but knew Bella would be angry at my interference. Both Bella and Charlie needed to work through this together at their own pace.

'Another nightmare?' Charlie sounded like the anxious father he was. Giving his daughter the protection only a father's arms could provide. I was deeply touched by the concerned care I felt flowing from Charlie to Bella. Bella nodded into his chest acknowledging her father's fears. I felt Charlie's worry and knew in the last two nights Bella had not gotten much rest. It seemed this wasn't the first nightmare she had had since Edward and the rest of my family left. I felt guilt at being the catalyst for her pain.

Bella and Charlie always seemed to have a comfortable distance between them that neither minded. Now when they needed each other, all of the barriers had fallen and Charlie held her so tenderly my heart ached. I had never contemplated having children as it wasn't a possibility for me, but here in this moment feeling their emotions and especially their love for one another, I understood why Rose had found her existence so painful – she would give it all up right now if she was offered the chance of a child, a chance to provide the loving care Charlie was now providing Bella. It was a bond between two people that could not easily be broken.

Even at the age of 18 Bella still needed her father and would for the rest of her life. Before Bella returned to Forks they had gone years without each other. Yet the parent/child bond was still strong and from the emotions flowing between them both, Charlie's comfort and Bella's vulnerability, I could see how they would struggle to be parted again.

I knew the time would come when I would have to take Bella from Forks; Alice had seen it, and I knew this was the only way to protect Charlie and her friends. I knew she was a strong person, but this would be difficult for her when the time came to leave. I hoped she wouldn't have any regrets. I wouldn't separate them until the last possible moment. I never had a chance to say goodbye to my family, but I would ensure Bella had a chance to say goodbye to hers.

After a few minutes of Charlie's soothing words, Bella's heart rate and the intensity of her emotions began to return towards a normal level. I knew she was grieving and her nightmare had just reiterated her pain. I wished I could make this easier for her, but knew she needed to deal with her loss before she could move on from it. Charlie gave Bella one last kiss on the cheek and told her to try and get back to sleep. She thanked him as he closed her door.

I sat in the tree watching her lay on her back as her brown eyes roamed the flecks in the ceiling paint; hoping to find answers to the questions that lurked in the depths of her mind. Her unease was palpable and I let it wash over me, cleansing my body in her pain as a form of self-harm, trying to reiterate to myself how much carnage my lack of control over my blood lust had caused someone that both myself and my family deeply cared about.

I was caught up in my own self loathing again and knew I would have to deal with the intense guilt at some point. I had lived long enough to realise I wasn't perfect and never would be, but I always strived to be better and stronger for those I cared about. Bella would be no exception, if she would let me, I would spend eternity making up for the hurt I had caused.

Bella shifted and made her way to the window. I knew she couldn't sense my presence; it was unnerving to be caught watching her. I could hide and ensure she didn't see me, but I wouldn't. I was sure she would be angry with my spying. She opened the window and looked directly at me. No surprise, no nothing. All her emotions seemed to disappear; it was like an empty hollowness had possessed her.

"Jasper. You don't have to stay outside." Her voice was hoarse from waking up screaming in emotional anguish. I let her make her way back to the bed and settle on top of the comforter before I entered the room, providing time to compose myself properly before being assaulted by her mouth-watering scent.

I silently made my way to the rocking chair in the corner, the faint smell of Edward still lingering on the wood. I felt awkward like I was intruding, but Edward had left, his scent and his heart; his broken Bella, the only reminders of his presence.

Bella crossed her legs and began absentmindedly fumbling with the hem of her hole-y t-shirt. Her anxiousness began to creep in. I prepared myself for her anger.

"Jasper why are you here?" Her voice was calm and if not for my empathic abilities I would not have picked up her conflicting emotions; slight anger laced with gratitude; a contradictory concoction. Knowing whatever answer I gave would result in some kind of backlash I opted for the truth, she always deserved the truth.

I let my sincerity coat each of my words, "I came to see how you were." Her emotions didn't shift, I had no option but to continue, "I knew this would be hard for you, it's hard for me too." I didn't mean to say the last sentence and instantly regretted my words. This was supposed to be about helping Bella, not wallowing in my own issues. Her demeanour softened. Shock flooded over me.

"Are you ok Jasper?" The emotions Bella emitted showed how interested in my answer she really was. Edward always said she reacted differently than he expected. I was beginning to understand what he meant.

I allowed my enhanced senses to check that Charlie was now asleep. If we were starting this conversation I didn't want to be interrupted. I would have to monitor Charlie closely to ensure we weren't disturbed. I could be out of the window before he even opened his bedroom door.

I prepared myself for the intensity of both my own and Bella's emotions. I knew this wouldn't be a comfortable conversation, but perhaps cathartic for us both.

"That's a loaded question." I let the pain creep onto my face, unwilling to hide away from this girl. I was anything but ok, perhaps seeing my own pain would help her understand that she wasn't alone in this.

My theory was confirmed as she made space on the bed and gestured for me to join her. The distance would only make the conversation harder for me and I found it strange how one human could understand me so well. We both sat a comfortable distance apart, feet dangling onto the floor staring out of the window I had entered a few minutes ago.

"Bella, I'm not in a good place right now, but I'm going to be strong." I was promising myself and I was somehow comforted by her presence. I was never this open with anyone about my feelings, but I instinctively knew I could trust Bella with everything including my life. I continued to look out of the window, until I felt her warm hand gently make contact with my arm, trying to get my full attention.

I turned and looked at this girl before me. Such a beautiful person, I wasn't thinking of her physical beauty she was like a sister to me, I was thinking of the beauty she held within, her emotions and her care for everyone around her. She was a rarity and my family had nearly let her go.

"Jasper, you don't have to be strong. You were with Alice a long time. That must hurt." Her soft words soothed my agony. I nodded not trusting myself to keep the venom tears at bay. "She left me too." I could sense the hole in her chest open up again, her pain matching my own. Two tortured souls suffering and supporting the other.

It wasn't just Edward's departure that hurt her. It was all of us. I needed to let her know that they were all suffering, each one hurting in their own way.

"Alice came back last night." Bella's eyes gaped at my words. I felt her emotions shift; hope, which morphed into concern, then anger. I knew what she was thinking, if Alice had come back then why was I so upset, "She came to check we were safe, she's having problems with her visions." My voice although matter of fact, betrayed how difficult Alice's return was for me. I took an unnecessary breath and continued, "We said our goodbyes." I waited to gauge her reaction I didn't feel ready to continue this conversation just yet. She was deeply conflicted by my words.

"Why did Alice leave Jasper? It doesn't make sense." I wasn't ready to tell her the whole truth. I needed time before I could put the truth into words.

"Me and Alice were not meant to be together forever. She saw us separated, saw me with someone else. I wouldn't do that to her." I was upset that this had even been a possibility; I was too much of a gentleman to cheat on her, "I still love her and a part of me always will. But I need to be here for you right now, and the distance from Alice will help." The venom was getting dangerously close to overflowing. I was concerned that this woman was able to bring out my softer side. I put this down to her going through her own issues and needing to feel close to her to help both of us through it.

Her anger erupted and she had to consciously remind herself to keep her voice at a reasonable level to not wake Charlie. She hissed her response at me, "I DO NOT NEED TO BE BABYSAT!" She had gumption. I knew I deserved it, I should have explained better. I squeezed her hand trying to get her attention as she rose from the bed and began pacing, mumbling words I was unable to decipher even with my enhanced hearing.

"Bella" her answering scowl almost scared me, and as a former Major of the Southern Wars that was not easy to do. "I am not babysitting you. Victoria is trying to get back into Forks. She wants you dead. She could hurt your friends, Charlie, or you. I'm not going to let that happen." I tried to stop Bella's anger from igniting my own, she was livid, and as an empath I would normally feed off those emotions, "and I can't be around Alice right now" my voice softened, "it hurts too much". I hoped she would realise I needed this as much as for helping her as to escape my own pain.

Her anger remained but she seemed to gain more control over it, her voice was quiet and menacing "I'm sorry I over reacted, but I do not need your help. You all left. You're only back to make sure I don't get killed so I can keep my stupid promise to Edward. Then you'll leave again, just like they all have." Her emotions became a heady concoction, anger still present, but pain crawling through every nerve in her body.

My anger started to take control and I was visibly shaking from the effort it took to keep composed. I was not sure who I was angrier at; Edward for leaving, my family for following his lead, Bella for her anger when I was trying to help, or myself. I was causing this girl more pain than was necessary.

"As I told you a couple of nights ago Bella I am not leaving Forks. Not without you and the sooner you accept that the better." My anger did not allow me to portray the full extent of my meaning. Bella erupted instantly to my outburst.

"Don't you dare make decisions for me." Her anger was hitting a pitch and I needed to control this now before Charlie woke up. Bella could put this down to another nightmare, but it was unlikely and I was not leaving her room with this anger and misunderstanding between us.

"I'm not deciding anything for you! You have the option to leave and I have the option to stay. I am not leaving Forks unless you are coming with me, even if it takes 60 years to convince you!" I wasn't trying to decide for her, but I could decide what I would do based on her decisions.

Alice and I never argued. Alice always saw the outcome and would prevent the argument from happening. I was a passionate person and the anger was helping to distract both Bella and myself from the pain. My monster was revelling in the intenseness intensity of the emotions, rejoicing at the feeding frenzy of emotional turmoil.

Bella didn't respond. Her anger began to subside but remained in the shadows ready to erupt again if her fire was stoked. We both paced the room carefully avoiding the others path. Bella was the first to sit back down on the bed. I continued pacing for a few minutes. I needed an outlet for my anger and knew I would have to demolish a few trees in the forest.

I turned towards the window, needing to emotionally steady myself. "I think I should go." The intensity and sudden onset of her pain nearly knocked me to my knees. She needed to know I would be back when we both had a chance to calm down. I was assigned to protect Bella tonight and would have to stay close, but I couldn't be in the same room as her. The emotions were stifling me.

One word and one action was all it took to dissipate my anger and replace it with guilt, "please" I turned to look at the trail of tears down her cheeks, and her hurt tone had punctured my resolve. This girl although impossibly strong had deep abandonment issues, ones created by my brother and my family. The tendrils to my anger were slowly being cut, but I needed to keep my distance. I wasn't in control, and I knew this potentially wouldn't be safe for her. Even with my enhanced ability to think I was becoming confused.

My tone was curt, "what do you want from me Bella?" I needed to know. I would still help her no matter what, but I may have to do it from a distance and I accepted it.

"I'm sorry. Just please don't leave." I suddenly understood. He had left her only two days ago and she feared I would abandon her again too.

"I'll stay, but not because I have to." She needed to understand that I am not like my brother, not everyone abandons family. "We'll talk about this more in the morning." My tone was still intense and I wished I could control it, but I couldn't. My actions would have to speak for me. I would stay and that was the most important thing right now.

It was late in the night and Bella had not slept. I needed to end this conversation now. Our emotions were too raw to continue without hurting the other. "Good night Bella."

I felt her disappointment, she knew I was struggling. I expected her to try and argue more. We were both emotionally drained and I longed to be able to sleep. Bella climbed under the comforter and stared at me, trying to understand my actions.

I couldn't let her try and sleep knowing I'd upset her.  
>Something in her words had ignited a reaction deep inside me that made my venom boil.<br>I should have known better, should have had better control.  
>But it was freeing to let that side of me go, if only for a few semi-controlled moments.<p>

I sent her the concoction of my emotions, telling her how sorry I was for upsetting her, but I was not sorry for being honest with her. It was late and she needed sleep, the bags under her eyes and her agitation confirming my theory. Everything else could be discussed another time.

"Good night Jasper" She snuggled down into the duvet and prepared herself for an agitated sleep. I would not use my gift without her consent. Eventually her eyes closed and left mine as she vacated the conscious world.

I thanked my lucky stars that I was never able to stay angry with those I cared about for long. Tomorrow would be another day, and we could both put things in perspective.

I watched her sleep for several hours. The gentle rise and fall of her chest as her breath fuelled the life source of her body. Her heart pumping the sweet blood around her organs, providing them with the basics needed to maintain human life; oxygen and nutrients being the main ones. Studying these actions calmed me. Edward had always said she was fragile, which in some ways she is, but the human body is resilient to the stresses of everyday life.

I had read many of Carlisle's medical books over the years; I had a thorough understanding of human anatomy. Carlisle hoped one day I would be strong enough to follow in his footsteps and become a doctor. He wanted me to show people, as well as myself, the strength that I possessed, not only as a leader but also as a man. My father had amazing faith in me, and I missed him deeply.

I hoped the day would come when I had that kind of control. It would take great effort, but I longed to be able to give back some of the lives I took in my past. I knew that helping humans, and working alongside Carlisle would provide the ultimate redemption for my red eyed days. Plus it would allow a perfect bonding situation to grow even closer to Carlisle, a man who I truly looked up to and longed to be like in every way.

A gentle snore pulled my full attention back to Bella.

Sitting in the dark, watching her even breathing, I understood Edward's fascination with watching Bella sleep. I washed myself in the calming and relaxing state that filled the house. I could feel myself drifting into an almost dream like state, a far cry from the emotions experienced while Bella was awake.

It was liberating to feel so at peace. I could spend every night like this and never be bored. The beating of Bella's heart was like a hypmatists pendulum, taking me further into a semi-conscious state.

As dawn approached I knew I needed to leave. I left Bella a note letting her know I would be back soon to take her to school, and apologising for my outburst the night before. We were both hurting and our own pain had fuelled the anger. I felt ashamed, but knew the reasons for my eruption.

As I re-approached the house, an hour later, I felt her sadness. I was sorry that I had upset her so much last night. Charlie had already left for work, so I made my way to her front door and knocked. This was a much more civil entrance than the window. I could hear her running down the stairs at record speed trying to get to the door. The relieved smile that graced her face was comforting, and her pain instantly morphed into relief.

"Morning Bella" I tried to keep the smile from my voice, I was glad she wasn't still angry. I suppose that 'sleeping on it' really does help. Knowing that she was relieved to see me gave me a small feeling of hope. I had been left on my own and someone was glad I was around, even after our previous confrontation.

"Morning Jasper. I'll be ready in two minutes." She was dashing about, and I was worried she would fall and hurt herself. My control could not handle blood in this close proximity without the others around to help me, no matter how much I wished otherwise.

I returned to my thoughts as she got herself ready. This morning had been rather surreal. I had left Bella and ran back home. Using the speed to expel some of the emotions I had bottled up. I felled several trees close to the house to finally lose the remainder of my frustration at my situation.

Feeling somewhat calmer I had entered the house and was immediately hit with memory after memory of my family. Edward at the piano while Bella sat next to him, Esme on one of her many decorating binges, Alice with clothes strewn around our room, trying to find something to wear, even though she had already had a vision of the outfit. I missed them all deeply and being in the house alone had been awkward, with no form of distraction. I had changed quickly and left as soon as possible. I was glad I had told Bella I would give her a ride to school.

I had noticed that being in close proximity to her did not have the same pull it usually did. Then I remembered Edward saying spending so much time around her lessened the appeal of the scent. That certainly seemed true. I would need to spend as much time around her as possible to ensure the pull remained minimal. I would let her know so she didn't get offended by my close proximity. Bella's close proximity pulled me back to the present.

"Ready" I asked and her answering nod was all I needed. I held the door open for her and she gave me a shy, somewhat questioning smile. I realised that with the minimal time we had spent together this was the first time I had opened a door for her, or in fact been this close to her for so long without someone else in between us.

"I have and I will always be a gentleman Bella." Every woman deserved respect, Bella more so after her recent heartbreak.

Her smile remained. "Thank you." Her hand shot out on to my arm in a very subtle gesture to get my attention. Since I had been back she had touched me on numerous occasions and I still couldn't fathom how she could be so at ease with me. I liked it, but I was still unsure how she could be so accepting of me. By the slight tremble in her voice, the sadness in her eyes and the complex haze of emotion I felt coming off of her in waves, I knew she wasn't just thanking me for coming back; she was thanking me for staying with her last night, and also coming back today. My brother's departure had thoroughly broken any trust she had. I hoped I would be able to earn her trust, and show her how much she could count on me.

"You're welcome Bella, and as I keep reminding you, you are worth it." She gave me an odd look and I shrugged. "Empath" I reminded her. "I can feel your lack of self-worth and will continue to remind you that you are wrong; you _are_ worth it." Realization crossed her face, followed by a deep blush as she walked past me through the door, sighing gently and mumbling, "Oh, right." I was glad I could read her emotions. She felt unsure, as if still not able to believe the words I had spoken. Somehow, someday I would ensure that she believed them.

We made our way to the car and I held the door open for her again and she eased her way into the passenger seat.

I caught Bella's nervousness as I started the engine on Rosalie's BMW. She had been absent from school yesterday. Sam had called to let me know that he had kept someone near her house at all times until I arrived last night. We seemed to work well together. I was very glad of this and hoped our tentative relationship would continue to grow.

Sam had informed me that she had spent all day in her room crying. I knew she was safe and had needed the time to pull herself together, knowing that I would be there for her in the evening.

I knew word had already spread in this small town of the departure of my family. No one had seen me apart from the wolves and Charlie, but I assumed the rest of the town would know I was still here. Gossip really does travel fast in a town this small. I had given Charlie my cover story a couple of nights ago. Bella would ensure that she backed up my story.

There were some things I needed to re-discuss with the girl by my side, without us shouting at each other, things I needed her to understand, "Bella when I saw Alice." I felt the jolt of pain punch through the hole in her chest, threatening to open it again. Her best friend had left her as well as Edward, and no matter how temporary the separation, it would still hurt her. "She said the family misses you very much. They are not coping very well with leaving you." Her anger flared, but she remained silent.

"Would you mind if Emmett or Esme called you?" I knew if I asked them to they would straight away. Alice had said they were having the hardest time out of everyone. Bella's pain at having been abandoned by the family she had felt herself to be a part of needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. If I could get the family to communicate with her she may not feel so hurt.

"I would like that, but I need a little time first." She seemed worried that she had offended me. Her concern for me was refreshing. "That's ok isn't it" Whatever she needed I would give her.

"As much time as you need." I could understand her hesitation, as the old saying goes time heals all wounds.

We continued to drive in silence for a few minutes. There was something else we needed to discuss, "Bella I needed to talk to you about something and I'm worried how you will react." I didn't like the idea of being stuck in the woods alone watching her house like a stalker. It would be better for both of us if I could be inside, closer to her, getting to know her better, being able to report to the family that she was ok and how she was coping with all the changes that had been thrust on her in such a short time.

"Ok" She was intrigued, but her emotional state remained level as if I had started a discussion about the weather. She should have been uneasy, but she always seemed comfortable with my statement, as if she knew what I would say. It unnerved me.

"I want to ensure I can control my thirst when I'm around you. It hasn't been very difficult so far." No more than usual. "Spending time with you last night helped mellow the burn. I won't hurt you, but I want to make sure you are safe and continued exposure is the best way to do that" I didn't want her to think I would crowd her or that she couldn't look after herself, this was for my benefit too, "and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better."

"Jasper. Are you ok?" she repeated her words from last night. She really was as perceptive as Edward said. Her easy concern and natural ease told me she was genuinely worried for me. Her concern for everyone she cared about was always her top concern. This personality trait was only one of the reasons why my family had accepted her so readily; one of many reasons why she had become special to all of us."

"I'll survive" I responded, the true agony at being parted from Alice and leaving my family was hidden behind a smile that was as genuine as possible under the circumstances. I was oddly pleased that her knowing she was not alone in her pain would bring her the slightest measure of comfort. Even though she would deny it, as she always wanted everyone to be content.

As an empath I could feel her conflicted emotions. I felt sure she would get over her loss of Edward eventually. He was her first love. She just needed support, someone to help rebuild her self-esteem and someone with experience of heartbreak; I hoped that she might one day allow that person to be me. Giving up Alice had been hard; leaving behind my human family to go to war had been just as difficult. It was one of the few human memories that remained; watching my mother's tear stained cheeks battling with her sense of pride as she told me to be careful and come back to her. Something I had not managed, and something I deeply regret.

I pulled into a parking space at Forks High as Bella nodded her head at my response, she seemed to be contemplating something, "me too." My smile grew. She had made the decision to be strong. I wanted to hug her for her strength and show her how proud I was of her. However that reaction would be inappropriate. Instead I sent her my pride and let it envelope her.

"I'll be here to pick you up after school, if that's ok with you?" I knew she needed a ride as her truck was at home. I could have let her drive herself but we needed to talk this morning. I wouldn't force her to spend time with me no matter how much I wanted to, and she hadn't argued when I arrived at her house this morning. I think we both needed to check the other was ok after last night.

"Well I'd rather not walk." She was teasing, as if trying to lighten her own mood, and I found I enjoyed it. The only person who ever had this kind of banter with me was Emmett. I really wished I had gotten to know her sooner.

"I'll be here." She smiled and exited the car. I noted she didn't say goodbye. It would seem that that one word was forbidden from her vocabulary for now. Goodbyes were final. We would see each other later. I watched as she walked towards the entrance, not looking back once as if forcing her body forward and into the school. Two voices caught my attention, two very annoying voices – Lauren and Jessica.

"Did you see her arriving with Jasper, Edward's only been gone 2 days and she's already moved on to his brother." Her mischievousness fuelled a subtle but dangerous level of rage inside me. Jessica seemed intrigued, but was merely following the lead of the egotistical idiot. Lauren had always annoyed me, but this was a new level of cattiness even for her.

"I thought they all left?" Jessica was keeping her opinions out of this as much as possible; I could respect her for that. Lauren would think what she wanted anyway no matter what Jessica or anyone else said to her.

"It seems someone stayed behind. Wonder if it's why they really left? Bella and Jasper must have been having an affair." The gossip continued getting more and more elaborate with each word. I had to get away before I drew attention to myself. My anger growing steadily as my nerves seemed to fray with each utterance from this stupid girl's mouth.

Bella would have a harder day than she needed to have due to Lauren's vicious gossip. I hoped she would be ok. I put the car in reverse and left the parking lot as quickly as the wheels would take me. Once far enough away, I ditched the car and ran, using the blast from my muscles to propel my body, an outlet to expel the emotions that had been steadily building inside me.

This kind of emotional reaction was new to me. Even though the Cullen's had been the subject of gossip since our arrival, I had never reacted so strongly before to Lauren and Jessica's idle gossip. Why now? My mind replayed the conversation I had with Alice. She had seen the change in me too. The depth of my protectiveness of Bella was reaching new, unforeseen and unexpected levels.

I reasoned that with the rest of the family away it was my responsibility, I was the only Cullen here to protect her. Somehow I didn't believe that was the full truth. She always seemed to get herself in life or death situations, so she needed a protector more than most. That had to be the reason, I told myself, working to convince myself of my own argument.

I ran back in view of the school, hoping to monitor Bella's emotions. Unfortunately, I was too far out of range to gain an accurate reading. I sensed Sam as he approached. Knowing he was due to take over 'Bella watch'. I needed to make some plans regarding the Victoria situation to ensure she did not return to Forks. There was only person I trusted to do the job thoroughly. I would call him shortly.

"Sam." My tone was as warm as my mood towards this man. He was not just sending his pack to the front line, he was willing to stand there himself, leading by example, just as I had done in the past.

"Jasper." His tone was civil but slightly strained, I sent him some trust and his posture and demeanour noticeably mellowed. "How is Bella this morning?" His concern was refreshing. He cared deeply for Bella and Charlie and I was glad they had the additional support.

"She struggled to sleep, but she seems to be coping." I wouldn't give him more information than he needed, but I found that the honesty in his emotions led me to want to trust him, part of me already did. "I'll make the call to the friend, It'll ensure Victoria and Laurent don't get close to Forks. I'll be back to pick her up when school gets out."

"Ok. Let me know if they agree." His tone was interestingly civil while still managing to hold onto an air of natural authority. It was almost a command but I found I wasn't inclined to object or be offended; we both had something at stake in this situation. He needed to know that everything would go according to plan. I also had a feeling that he was trying to trust me, but his years of conditioning that vampires were the enemy would take a while to overcome.

"I will." With that I took off to my special place. A quiet little lake with a waterfall, a rock sat near the water allowing my reflection to be seen. I took a look at myself. The sun broke through and my scars glistened in the reflection. Each one a stark reminder of my past and the things I had endured. Bella had her own scars, one from James, one from the glass at the birthday party and one from Edward. That one was only visible to those who knew her well enough to see the pain in her expressive brown eyes, or through her expression, except to my empathic ability.

We both had a long way to go to heal from our wounds. But first I needed to deal with the very real threat to Bella, Charlie and the town of Forks. The various nomad scents I came across as I'd made my way to my special lake had been unnerving in their number. It was rare to get more than two or three a year; at this moment there were several more than that in Forks.

One nomad offered more danger than I hoped; Victoria. Edward was tracking her in South America, but I knew he would struggle to kill her on his own. She appeared to have more ability than we had given her credit for. If she was willing to come back and take on a coven of seven plus one human she must either be crazy or very skilled. My army experience dictated that she shouldn't be underestimated.

I couldn't risk Edward's safety. He was my brother, my family needed him, and Bella would be truly broken if anything happened to him, and I needed to concentrate all of my efforts on Bella and the occurrences here in Forks.

So I made the call, the one that would guarantee Victoria never made it back to Forks alive. There were very few others I would trust with my life, let alone that of my family, including Bella. There was only one person that was as skilled and strategic as me, trained by me to the highest level. I knew he would never let me down.

I dialled the familiar number and it was answered after the first ring, "Peter, I need your help."

**Please review. Constructive feedback is welcome and encouraged. Plus I really want your thoughts on the chapter. **

**I've already started work on the next chapter and will update again soon x**

**Oh and anyone else think Jackson was looking ultra-fine in Breaking Dawn. Damn that guy is hot.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter to you. December was completely crazy for both myself and my beta. I hope this chapter makes up for it. **

**It's taken me a full month to recover from meeting Jackson in Manchester. Yes I had a complete fan girl moment. I think I'm still on a high.**

**I want to thank everyone for their reviews and I promise I read every one of them. I respond to all reviews on this story, even if it takes me a little time to do it - if you've not had a response message me.**

**SM owns Twilight. I'm sure it was SM's plotline in New Moon that Edward went to South America looking for Victoria (but I need to check). I mention it as it's relevant to this chapter.**

"Peter. Thank you. Say hi to Charlotte for me." I ended my call with Peter, reflecting on our conversation. He is one of the few people I knew could be trusted with my life. He was every bit as much of a brother to me as Emmett or Edward.

Peter had agreed to help capture and kill Victoria and I was glad I could depend on him and it was comforting knowing that Edward would not have to face the unknown alone. My conversation with Peter was especially reassuring since my attention was needed in Forks and focusing on protecting the Swans'. Not that I didn't trust Edward's abilities; his gift did give him an advantage, but I had trained Peter and it was like sending myself to do the job. The more people that tracked and fought Victoria the better, and since her skills were as yet an unknown factor, my strategic mind was plotting ways to ensure everyone but Victoria would come out of this unscathed.

I was not willing to risk the possibility of losing any more of my family or those I care about; I had already given up Alice. The family had also been torn apart; and was in upheaval what with Edward's abrupt abandonment of Bella, my departure and the suddenness of the dissolution of my and Alice's marriage. I would do everything possible to ensure the family had no more upheaval for a while.

Peter had confirmed that Charlotte would join the "search and destroy" party. I hadn't needed to ask, as where one went, the other followed. They had been inseparable since the day I had let them flee Maria's army. I had heard Charlotte's bubbly response in the background of my telephone conversation with Peter, "South America? Any excuse for a road trip!" I could picture her broad smile as she already contemplated where they could end up.

Charlotte had looked past the grim reality of the death involved, a side effect of being tangled in the Southern wars all those years ago, and instead focused on her never-ending sense of adventure. I could understand why Peter had fallen in love with her all those years ago, she was so full of life, and now they were about to celebrate their 100th wedding Anniversary. I couldn't wait for this drama to be over so I could visit them again. Charlotte's emotions were always so pure and untainted and it was a relief to be able to relax around them so completely.

"Give us a few hours and we'll start by tracking Edward." It was the exact move I would have made; know where your own team is before searching out the enemy.

"No doubt Alice will call to tell me where he is." Peter's voice sounded slightly irritated. Although Peter and Alice's relationship had been strained, mainly due to him being part of my past that she wished so desperately to erase, they would both work together to protect the family. The situation would be hard for both of them, but I'm sure they would still find time to have their fair share of disagreements along the way.

"Thanks Peter. Text and call with updates when you get a chance." I was very grateful to have a small weight lifted from my shoulders. I didn't like to delegate responsibility but there was no other option and any good military leader knows how to delegate the work at hand to insure success.

"You look after the girl." He hesitated for a brief moment and then added, "For a human she seems special." I laughed half-heartedly. How right he was; a whole family and extended family of vampires whose natural food source was human blood creating potential war strategies to protect a human. This philosophy was opposite the basis of the Southern Wars, where Peter, Charlotte and I had fought side by side. We had fought for territory so we could feed at will. This 'war' was to protect one human and her father by association. It was an intriguing concept to battle to protect human life rather than take it away.

I hoped that when Peter and Bella finally met that they would become friends; Bella's natural lack of a sense of self-preservation and Peter's heightened curiosity held great promise for some form of connection. It had hurt that Alice and Peter only managed to tolerate each other for my sake. I therefore didn't spend as much time with my original 'brother' and his wife as I would like.

I already felt that Bella and I would grow close, our similar and strangely related heartbreak and the subsequent healing would work to create a very strong bond for us. It would mean a great deal to me, if/when Bella decided to become a vampire, that we could spend her new born year with Peter and Charlotte. Therefore it was important to me that Peter and Bella would be able to get along before this decision was made.

I had explained to Bella the day I found her the choices she would have to make, and the consequences of her decisions. The Volturi would never let her stay human or alive if they found out she knew our secret. I found myself hoping she would agree to become a vampire and be a permanent part of my family. She had a very individual way of looking at things and I wanted to be there to see things with her from a new perspective, which after 150 years of being unchanged was a welcome prospect.

Bella and I had been kept apart by my brother for her safety. Now we were free to become friends, I found that I wanted her to know me, and there was no better place to start than my homelands of Texas. Charlotte would thoroughly enjoy showing Bella the places where we grew up, while Peter would take great pleasure in telling her any and all embarrassing stories about me.

Although I trusted Peter implicitly, I was worried that humans **were** his food source of choice. Bella would probably not be the slightest bit phased by this, but I'm sure Sam and the pack would not be so welcoming; they were adamant that all human life be protected. The treaty had only recently come under scrutiny on both sides and it was important to keep any and all dealings with each other cordial.

On Peter and Charlotte's previous visits to the Cullen's, Carlisle had always insisted they didn't hunt within a 500 mile radius of where we lived to prevent any unwanted attention. I would ensure this continued for the duration of any stay they made in Forks in the future. I knew that Peter would honor Carlisle's request; the challenge was to make sure that the wolves understood that Peter and Charlotte were as important to the hunt for Victoria as they themselves were.

"She is special Peter. It's odd. She is so accepting of us and she makes me feel almost human." Bella was no ordinary human. She had penetrated a family that had avoided becoming closely acquainted with any human for decades, and somehow each member of the family had become irrevocably grateful for it.

My brother never judged me. We always were completely honest with each other. He could sense the changes in me, too. I was mellowing and allowing the people close to me to see the humanity that I have kept buried deep in my soul for so many years. It was unnerving, but I somehow felt free after years of holding back.

It was freeing to not have the monster or my gift controlling my every move; bloodlust, war, the heightened emotions of my family. Having the ability to see and feel so much at once was sometimes overwhelming, especially when in close proximity and feeling it from six others with enhanced emotional capacity.

My guilt swallowed me as I replayed Bella's birthday and the restraint-crushing bloodlust of my entire family that had caused me to lunge. This time apart would allow me to decipher which emotions were my own and which were directly affected by others. Perhaps for once I could truly trust my own feelings.

Since Bella's birthday my life had become a rollercoaster; everything in my world had changed, including me.

I wondered why these changes were happening now, and what the significance would be. It was unsettling, vampires don't change, but each day I feel as if something else is different, as if a little layer of myself has been stripped away by Bella's presence in my world, without the influence of the other members of my family.

We were in similar situations and I found it easy to be myself around her. Not Jasper the vampire, the empath, or Alice's husband, but Jasper the man. She evoked such deep reactions from me. I was beginning to feel it wasn't healthy. Alice had seen me happy again. Maybe this was part of the process to being able to find that path.

I had quickly finished my call to Peter, promising to visit them as soon as everything here had been dealt with. I knew if Bella decided to turn, I wanted to take her to Texas for her new born year. Three seasoned vampires with new born handling experience would ensure she had a comfortable transition and didn't slip unless she wanted to. I knew deep down she respected human life and would follow the Cullen way alongside me, but it would be her choice. It would be nice to hunt with someone else again.

I felt a longing for my family. This was the longest I had been separated from all six of them since I had joined them. Alice had seen that I would never return to live with the family again, while I would never bet against Alice, a small part of me felt lonely. Not that I'd admit it to anyone but myself. It had only been days and I knew it would get easier eventually. Still, I was man enough to admit that I missed my family. In that moment I decided I would go back to them as soon as it was safe to do so, and hopefully take Bella with me. Alice's visions change and I could imagine her smile at seeing me contemplating a future back with the family.

I sat at the side of the lake and cleared my mind; allowing the beautiful and rare rays of the sun to warm the chill of my skin, the warmth making me feel human for a moment. My call to Peter and the warmth of the day brought to mind images of Texas with its familiar heat and thoughts of the events and people that had worked to put me in this time and place with the current situation; Peter and Charlotte had freed me from the wars, Alice had led me to my family and then sent me to protect Bella. I wondered where this particular fork in the path would lead, and what the consequences would be to my future.

The sun provided comfort, in the form of Mother Nature's gentle embrace. I revelled in the serenity of the moment. As the sun began to fall in the sky, I knew it was time to get back. Bella would be out of school soon.

I leapt up and began the steady jog back to the school. Texting Sam on the way to inform him he could go home after my car arrived in the parking lot and I would watch her until morning. He texted back that Jared would be taking over at day break. I thanked him.

Less than five minutes later I was in Forks High parking lot, waiting for Bella close to the main entrance. I knew everyone would see me, but it didn't matter. With Lauren's big mouth the entire school would be aware of my return. The sooner I got Bella home the better.

Streams of students made their way into the lot, breaking off into little groups making plans for the evening or the coming weekend. The familiar smell of freesia and strawberry wafted from the school doors and I saw Bella. I felt her apprehension and slight anger. I could sense she had had a hard day and I couldn't wait to get her out of here.

I wanted to get out and open the door for her, but knew the gossip that would ensue from that little gentlemanly display. People these days didn't understand the small gestures that were in fact friendly and respectful, not a chat up line, or prequel to more interesting activities. It almost made me long for the days long ago where respect was paramount and manners were drilled into everyone from birth.

I felt Bella's emotions morph as she exited the school, effectively pulling me from my internal grumblings on the modern-day absence of manners.

As our eyes met, Bella's anger and frustration were penetrated by her relief. Bella picked up her pace slightly, ignoring Jessica's calls as she stomped with purpose towards Rosalie's car. I'm sure today had been tougher than I had anticipated, by her reaction to Jessica. She visibly relaxed as she sunk into the passenger seat. I was glad I had left the top up for her privacy. I looked at her and gave a half-hearted smile as I sped away from the adolescent, hormone-driven madhouse I had been part of last year. We both calmed as the distance from the school grew.

The emotional atmosphere was still as we approached the Swan house, and I knew that Charlie must still be at work. I was grateful that we would have more time to talk without any interruptions or being overheard. Privacy was one of the only perks of being away from my family.

Between Edward's mind-reading and our enhanced senses, nothing was private. I appreciated the peace, something that I was rarely able to enjoy. I would only have to deal with one other person's emotions until Charlie got home and, no matter how bad the emotions were it would still be bliss, a welcome change after years of constant bombardment.

I shut off the engine as we parked in her drive way, leaving room for Charlie's cruiser. Bella's emotions seemed erratic circling between hope, need and apprehension; her cocktail of pain and hollowness sat idly in the background as if watching and waiting for a moment of weakness to strike and break her again. Despite the confusion of emotions, Bella seemed to be trying to maintain some control over them; trying to be strong and refusing to let her loss destroy her, just as she had promised me this morning.

I felt proud of her and projected everything I was feeling in that moment towards her; pride, caring in the form of familiarial love, and acceptance. I knew how she felt, my own situation and my empathic ability showing me the strength that this one fragile, yet incredibly brave human girl possessed. She really was an exceptional person.

This was difficult for her and she knew I was struggling with my own issues regarding both my family and Alice. I wouldn't hide this from her. I would be as open to her as she was to me. I felt I could trust her with everything. Someday soon I would tell her my story, she deserved the truth and I felt I needed to share it with her, and I wasn't entirely sure why. I'm sure that answer would come with time.

Her smile, though forced, was comforting. She was trying and that's all that counted at the moment. I made no move to exit the car. If she wanted me to join her she could ask either verbally or with her emotions; my presence would be her choice.

I took comfort in the fact that I wouldn't be going home right away; it was my turn to watch over Bella tonight and even though I could smell the rain approaching, being wet was a much better option than sitting at home and wallowing in my own misery. I felt vulnerable, something that was a very rare occurrence for me.

The only time I had felt like this was when Alice had sent me back to forks, or on the rare occasion I slipped and feasted on human blood. These were times that I had little or no control over my actions. The decisions had been forced on me by the situations I found myself in. I am a warrior and my physical, mental and emotional strength is what has set me apart from others for over a century. While I was not as strong as I led others to believe, I was still stronger than most, and knew instinctively how to handle most situations.

Bella must have sensed my discomfort over my own situation, or I was unconsciously projecting my emotions, which wasn't really an option as my mind was capable of lots of actions and trains of thought at once. It was difficult to do anything unconsciously.

"Jasper. Charlie won't be home for a while," She was blushing and I sensed awkwardness and embarrassment coming from her so I sent her a small dose of reassurance; whatever she wanted to say, it appeared to be difficult for her to say the words. "This morning you said being around me helped your thirst. I have to fix Charlie's dinner, but we could hang out."

She was embarrassed for wanting me to stay. I could feel her vulnerability; She was always strong, last night had proved that, but today she felt exposed. I wondered how bad school had been; had she been the centre of attention, a place she hated to be, and the subject of various unfounded rumours? I was glad she felt comfortable enough to let me see this very human side of her. I nodded and exited the car, willing to offer whatever support she needed.

We walked up the path to the front door side by side, both comfortable in each other's presence. The mild burning in my throat was completely bearable, and in spite of the close proximity to my natural food source I felt firmly in control.

Once we entered the house and had made our way to the kitchen, I perched at the counter and took note of the details of her daily life-the industrial strength magnets on the fridge and the message board by the phone as I watched Bella fetch the ingredients from various cupboards and nooks. I felt uneasy as the chopping board was placed next to a rather ominous looking knife. I knew I needed to avoid the possibility of any slip ups by either of us, I wasn't that strong yet no matter how much I wished otherwise.

"Bella do you want some help?" She raised an eyebrow at me. Knowing what I was really asking, I felt her irritation, but pleaded with my eyes. Did Bella really have no sense of self-preservation? Accident prone as she was, one small slip and she would buy us both a one way ticket to the after life, in my case for a second time.

"I'm capable of cooking on my own Jasper. I've been doing it for years."

"I know, it's just I really want to help, and I want to avoid 'temptation'." I shocked myself with the honesty of those words. I had watched many cooking programmes with Esme over the years and knew the basics. Not that I had any need for them until now. I picked up the knife as Bella handed me the peppers. They smelled vile, but she explained that chicken fajitas were one of Charlie's favourite meals.

I took to my job of slicing and dicing quite happily. I revelled in the tranquillity of being here with Bella. We worked well together and the act of cooking seemed to sooth her frayed nerves and my bruised heart. Much to Bella's amusement I used my bare hands to remove the skillet from the hot oven. It wouldn't hurt me, as there were no flames involved, but she still checked my hands one by one to ensure I was ok. It was a small friendly gesture, but one I appreciated immensely and found very diverting.

Bella always took care of those she cared about and I was glad to be included in that select group of individuals. I felt now more than ever that we would get closer with time, little moments like this made me realise how much we both needed and appreciated each other's support.

Charlie came in as we were finishing the preparation and he was greeted with a duet of "hi Charlie" and "hi Dad" from both myself and Bella, causing the three of us to smile, something that had been missing for all of us over recent days. I fed the subtle amusement back into the room with my gift amplifying it. Bella's eyes conveyed her gratitude, but I could still see her heartache in her ever expressive eyes. It may have lasted only a moment but it melted some of the turmoil and heartache that had stifled the air around us for several days.

Our shared look allowed us both to have hope that one day the pain wouldn't be so intense and we may even come out of this stronger. I felt closer to Bella in that moment than I ever thought possible.

Small moments like this made me realise how much I enjoyed the company of others. I felt that given time and the right circumstances, Bella and Charlie would become as important to me as the Cullen's were. They were both so accepting of me. I knew Charlie always liked my family and avoided the gossip surrounding us. Charlie took people at face value; Carlisle's professional reputation meant more to him than other people's opinions. I appreciated Charlie's open mind, something that his daughter had obviously inherited from him.

I could have been at home stewing instead I was feeding off Charlie's relief and happiness for seeing his daughter attempt a smile for the first time in days. Bella wasn't happy, but stolen moments of anything remotely optimistic were a positive step for her. I was grateful I could be a part of it, and witness Charlie's reaction to it after their heartfelt father/daughter conversation after her nightmare.

"Dad I've made you fajitas." Her smile was back in a moment of tenderness with her father. Seeing her father smiling had lightened her mood considerably.

"Thanks Bells." Charlie hung up his gun belt by the door and removed his boots, sitting down in the kitchen to unwind as Bella prepared the table to eat.

"Jasper. Will you be joining us?" I felt Charlie's hope and my own guilt alongside Bella's curiosity. Her time spent in the kitchen had relaxed her after a difficult day. Although she was still hurting I felt that us being around each other helped to lessen the worst of the pain. The diversion tactic was working for us both.

"Actually Charlie I only ever eat at home." I felt momentarily uncomfortable, knowing my uneasy posture would add to the effect of my newly thought out excuse, "I have severe food allergies and Esme and Carlisle make sure I only eat foods that are safe. I ate earlier." Yeah I only drink blood and hunted two nights ago, but that is still earlier right? It was as close to the truth as I could go.

"I'm sorry to hear that son." Bella's subtle amusement trickled into the atmosphere, rippling in soft waves towards me. Her back was turned away from Charlie and me, but I could make out her slight smile through the reflection on the window. Noticing she had been caught, she scowled and quickly collected the plates from the counter and set them on the table and before turning back to wipe any spillages from the work surface, seating herself opposite her father to eat.

I sat at the end of the table watching them eat amused and nostalgic by the way Bella would pass her father more food as he devoured her cooking. Their cosy little family dynamic of meal times was something I had not seen in well over 100 years.

For the first time, after witnessing her actions around her father and Charlie's reactions to "domestic Bella", I noticed that Bella was what was once called "house proud" and seemed to take great pleasure in looking after her father and herself. Beyond that, it also spoke volumes about her willingness and innate need to care for those around her. It allowed me to see first-hand some things that Edward had alluded to during some of our private conversations such as her self-lessness.

Although she was fiercely independent, she was mature beyond her years and she took great pleasure in caring for others. Edward had mentioned that Bella helped run the house back in Phoenix when she lived with her mother. I always assumed that was out of necessity; due to her mother's hair brained schemes and apparent restricted attention span. Maybe her caring nature went deeper than myself or my family had previously understood. No wonder she took exception to Edward making decisons for her all the time.

Even the most mundane moments I spent around Bella opened my eyes to a new side of her, each one more likable, interesting and eye-opening than the last. I shocked myself at the intensity of that errant thought. I stopped watching them interact, distracted by my own self-observations - Each trait more endearing than the last? She was supposed to be like a sister to me, one I had never known as well as I wanted to, but here I was being thrust into her everyday life and I was learning more about Bella in days than I had learned about her in the last few months while she was around Edward.

I realised I genuinely liked her, not as my brother's girlfriend, but as a person. She opened my perspective to new ways of thinking; allowed me to see things from a different viewpoint than I had seen in over a hundred years.

Was it wrong to feel excited by this prospect? I was old and set in my ways. Vampire's rarely changed and being around Bella made me feel open to a world I had previously seen in shades of grey and was now able to see in Technicolor; in a way I felt the first time I had seen "The Wizard of Oz"-slightly off-kilter yet exuberant. It was all too confusing to contemplate right now and knew that in the coming days I would spend time trying to figure it all out. Though I had been around humans I had never interacted with them as freely as I was now able to with the Swan's. It gave me a link to my humanity that I thought I had lost decades ago. While it was unnerving, I was intrigued by what the unknown would bring.

I could sense Bella's uneasiness and heartbreak seeping back into the forefront of her mind. The quiet atmosphere pulling her back into the pain filled reality of a life without my brother and my family. I knew a way to solve half of the dilemma; I was calling Carlisle to speak about the wolves and now of the treaty, and I would speak to him about the possibility of the family's return either now or in the future. The sooner they mended bridges with Bella the easier it would be for everyone but Edward. He had made his decision, but Bella needed us around, especially with nomads and the possible threat of Victoria's return.

They finished their meal and Charlie smiled in my direction before giving Bella a kiss on the forehead and heading into the living room to watch a game. I helped Bella clean the table and load the dishwasher, content to keep occupied and stop my thoughts from meandering to my soon to be ex-wife. Thoughts which would certainly be surfacing when I returned home alone, and had several hours to deal with my own issues. I was dreading being in that house again.

I didn't want Bella to think I was clinging to her as an avoidance tool for my own problems, but being around her and Charlie seemed to stop me dwelling too deeply on my own troubles. Oddly Bella seemed to take the same refuge in looking after Charlie, and I hoped being around me. When she had climbed into Rosalie's BMW at the school she had visibly relaxed. I'm sure from knowing she had an escape from some of her issues.

Bella finished cleaning as I watched her intently. Her emotions were growing more painful the closer it came to her bed time. I had to leave and my own emotions mirrored hers perfectly, only partially from her influence. I didn't want to be alone tonight with the lingering scents of my family in a house we had all shared. Patrolling would provide me the antidote to that scenario, and I had promised Sam I would watch Bella till morning.

"Bella I'm going to head out. I need to go for a run. Clear the cobwebs." I knew she would understand, but again she shocked me. Her concoction of heartache mixed in with self-loathing. "Bella? Are you ok?" She forced a smile and nodded. I'm not sure if she was hoping to fool me or herself.

"I can feel your emotions Bella." I tried to sound caring, but frustration seeped into my words. I'm an empath and she didn't need to hide herself from me. Bella needed to understand that she could trust me; not just in my ability to resist her blood, but also as a friend. I knew she was struggling, but she didn't have to be strong with me, I didn't see it as her being weak, I saw it as a sign of her humanity.

"Sorry. It's just been a hard day, I'm not ready to talk about it yet." I could feel her disappointment in herself. She had agreed earlier in the day to be strong, and it was harder than either of us thought.

"But you don't want to be on alone with your thoughts either." Her expression hardened. She wanted to chastise me for hitting her with the truth. I looked at her with a disbelieving look, she could try it but I wouldn't back down and now wasn't a good time for another argument with her father in the next room.

"Bella. I know how you're feeling, and not only because I'm an empath." I let the words hang in the air. She needed to hear them for her own sanity.

Realisation hit her as she took in the true meaning of my words. She moved forward and I held my breath reflexively as she attempted to pull me into a hug, unable to move my granite body with her slight form. Knowing again she was going into care-taking mode, if this helped her in the slightest I would allow it. I gently returned her embrace.

Bella was uneasy as she pulled back, "Jasper. Can you come back later?" I was shocked. I thought she would want some time apart after the last few days. I had to be a constant reminder of Edward and my family. Yet despite this she was asking for my help. I felt grateful for this little show of faith from her.

"You said being around me helped with the blood lust." Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I could see through her excuse but I wouldn't call her on it. This was only a small part of her wanting me to stay; she didn't want to be alone and neither did I. She wasn't comfortable enough around me yet to be completely honest and I was ok with that.

"Leave your window open. I'll be back when Charlie's asleep." I smiled at her, feeling her relief flood into me. The nightmares must be really bad if she was scared to be alone. I would ask her in the future, when she was ready to open up to me.

"Thank you." I felt her gratitude, gave her hand a gentle squeeze, said my goodbyes to Charlie and headed into the green depths of the forest to try and outrun my conflicted and confused thoughts for even a little while.

When I returned hours later I felt Bella's pain even before I made it back to the house. Something had deeply upset her, but somewhere lingering on the side lines I felt her hope. I made my way to her window and knocked before entering. The sight before me broke my unbeating heart; Bella sat in her bed holding the phone in her hand, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Bella?" My voice was quivering, my body was on alert. Someone had called to upset her, that much I could determine, but who? Someone had given her hope? I could feel it under the surface of her other emotions. If Edward had called and given her false hope I would shred him without a second thought.

She wiped her eyes and nose on a tissue before staring at me with bloodshot eyes. "Emmett says he's coming back, they are all moving back before Christmas."

All? Even I knew that wasn't a good idea. If Edward wanted Bella back he had some serious growing up to do first. She deserved better than he could provide in his current mind set of self-sacrifice for her 'greater good'. He would leave her again if he thought it was the right thing to do. I wouldn't allow him to hurt her again; her heart wouldn't survive a second time.

"All?" I allowed her to feel my uncertainty.

"Except Alice and….. Edward." Her pain spiked as she struggled to utter his name.

"Oh! Are you ok with that?" I missed my family immensely, but I wondered if it would feel empty without Alice around me, and how much having the family around would remind me of what I had given up. Of all that was lost.

"I have a couple of months to get used to it. Having Emmett back will be nice. I miss him." Her tears had stopped flowing. Despite her initial shock at hearing the news I felt as her shock morphed into love for her brother and her lost family.

I sent her my understanding. If she needed to say anything I wouldn't interfere. She looked directly at me as if waiting for me to respond. "I miss them too Bella. They've been my family for over 50 years."

"Tell me about them. Things I don't already know. Stories of things they have done." She was genuinely interested and seemed to be taking the news of their return a lot more comfortably than I expected. They had only left a few days ago, perhaps their return was perfectly timed to allow for Bella's forgiveness.

I went to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of her room. She moved closer to the edge of her bed as her expressive eyes and ever accepting mind absorbed details of my family's history together.

I told her stories of each decade we had been together and the various things we had done. She was most interested in our time in England, when Carlisle had wanted to revisit his homeland. He had wanted to experience Beatle mania from its source. We had all ventured to Liverpool's Empire Theatre in December 1965, British winters almost guaranteed overcast days and we were able to mingle with the crowd and fully enjoy all the experiences the Island had to offer. She giggled at the thought of Emmett at a Beatles concert wearing a slim fitting shirt and bellbottoms. I told her I would find the pictures for her to tease him with later.

A small smile graced her lips as she drifted into an almost contented sleep, knowing she would get back a small part of what she had lost.

**Hopefully you liked the chapter. Not sure why I'm nervous about it. Let me know what you think.**

**The posting schedule should be back to normal now – approximately every two/three weeks.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to all my lovely readers, reviewers and people who have the story on alert. This is the fourth draft of this chapter so I hope it lives up to your expectations.**

**I wanted to get this chapter up before my birthday tomorrow. **

**Disclaimer: SM's characters mixed with my overactive imagination.**

The still night air magnified the nomads' scent. My body instinctively tensed, readying for potential conflict; the scent was fresh, possibly less than an hour old. Whoever was here had a familiar smell but had blanketed it in something or in such a way as to affect my senses. The familiarity of the smell led me to believe this wasn't by chance. If I had met them before my senses should automatically recall exactly who the scent was from, and when I had last sensed it.

My experience of conflict told me this nomad understood what they were doing; that this wasn't some random descent on Forks. The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention, it was as if some sixth sense was kicking in; warning me of a potential threat. Whoever this creature was seemed to _**know**_ they were being watched; why else would they try and disguise their scent?

I would take no chances in order to ensure Bella's safety. I had to assume this vampire was older; had skills; and was potentially an experienced fighter. I had seen enough conflict in my existence to know that you should never underestimate an opponent. Which although unknown, this person was a potential threat and if need be I would use every ounce of my expertise and abilities to take them down in my mission to keep Bella safe.

The pack and I took turns to patrol each night, one of us staying behind and protecting the Swan's house, two more would patrol the whole of Forks, courtesy of the amended treaty, and the remaining pack members would rest.

While I didn't need rest I took these nights to sit with Bella in her room, keeping her calm with my presence while telling stories of my family. The last two weeks had seen a vast improvement in her mood, as she slowly began to come to terms with the family's departure. Emmett texted her daily, giving her fun updates on his latest crazy schemes and antics with Rosalie.

Slowly Bella was becoming more comfortable with Emmett's attention, she always forgave easily, and the short time span of his disappearance allowed her to welcome him back into her life. Underneath I sensed her insecurity, she was scared of being hurt again, but her love for her brother shone through and allowed them to grow closer than they had been before Edward left. Emmett always doted on Bella and from their conversations I could see their bond strengthening. She was no longer just Edward's girlfriend; she had become a member of his family through her loyalty and love for all of us.

Although Bella was coming to terms with the family's absence, she missed them dearly and it hurt her that they hadn't returned with me. We had spoken about it very briefly one evening, but her hurt and on that night, her emotions had still been too raw to discuss it at length.

I had been with her every day since Edward left. I had seen the hurt in her eyes and the strength it took her to move or attempt a smile those first few days, so I was unwilling to push her to talk to me about how she was feeling. I knew the exact moment acceptance had filtered into her emotions; she knew Edward was never coming back and resolved to live without him. While it didn't dull the pain, it was the starting point for her recovery.

She became more at ease in my presence, we were a constant comfort to each other and a reminder that we weren't alone, we were in this together and it gave us both strength. Bella's deep-rooted pain, the apparent hole in her chest, was slowly healing, where as I was slowly coming to terms with leaving my wife. I had hope for the future. Even the small amount of healing we had both done was a positive step.

In these two weeks I had learned more about Bella than I had in the previous months I had known her. I found out that while she liked the outdoors she hated hiking because of her lack of coordination, she loved beef tacos, but had become a vegetarian when her mother decided it was the 'perfect' lifestyle choice. Renee may have resumed eating meat after a few months but Bella had kept up the dietary practice; it simply made sense to her and exemplified that while she was eager to please, she was more than capable of making her own decisions. Each little snippet of information made me want to ask even more questions. She was such a complex creature.

I can honestly say we were on the road to becoming friends. I trusted her, and she seemed to trust me equally. I would let her know about the nomad, I wouldn't keep anything from her; she had as much right to the information as I did. Plus she was as eager to protect her father as the pack and I were to keep him safe. All of these thoughts were in the background of my thinking as I continued pursuing the oddly familiar scent, searching for clues to the identity of the stranger, but found none.

I felt Sam's aggravation as he approached from a patch of forest to the east, "the scent follows the old treaty line, ending at the beach." Hmm, the nomad really did know what they were doing, but didn't know the treaty had been re-negotiated. I filed this information away in the little mental drawer I called 'protect the human'. I'm sure it would be full in a few months; Bella was the ultimate trouble magnet.

While I relished the constant hum of activity, I could not wait for the dangers to be over. In my life danger had always been present; Maria, newborns, war, emotions, death, my own control. All these events and phenomenon flowed seamlessly together into the long timeline of my life.

I wondered what would await me in the future. I had once believed that Alice was my salvation, but with her gone, I was unsure of where my path would lead. I had spent the first one hundred years of this existence with pain and terror as my constant companions. The last fifty years had given me some semblance of a normal existence, and a happy one, with my family by my side. That had all been stripped away leaving me here dealing with the immediate problem of Bella's protection and potential change. Dare I dream of a future? A happy ending where I can once again settle into a comfortable existence?

I wanted to watch the sunrise every morning. The sunrise acted as my own personal alarm clock for the day ahead. Existing as I did without sleep, I always found I needed a physical marker for each passing day. I didn't like the nomadic lifestyle and preferred to have some company. Carlisle and I had spent many mornings together greeting a new day as the previous one melded into the next. We would talk about anything that was bothering us, strategies for moving without detection, things we enjoyed or general mundane topics. Carlisle was so worldly that I never got bored of our discussions.

I was beginning to realize that I very much wanted to live a normal existence away from the pain. Other than that, at the moment I was unsure where my future was heading. This isn't a bad thing, in some ways it creates an opportunity for adventure. The only thing I really wished was for my family to be happy, and as Bella was part of that select group, I wanted her to be happy, too.

Ever since I was human I would get restless easily and needed a new challenge to keep my sanity. It was one of my reasons for signing up to the war. The Vampire wars had kept me occupied with training, fighting and killing, and Alice always knew when I needed a vacation. She always led me to new places exploring the delights that the twentieth and twenty first century had to offer.

_I remembered one winter evening in 1963 venturing around New York. The dark allowed us to wander undetected. The views were spectacular, and I was able to feel Alice's excitement which added to my own. We watched as children and couples skated around Central Park before venturing off to find an evening meal for ourselves. _

_It was a few years after __Alice and__ I had joined the Cullen's and __I __was still adjusting to __my new __lifestyle. __Being in the fresh, clean, __open air had helped me __by diffusing the concentration of any one of __the vast number of scents around me at the same time__, especially those of the human variety__. The burn had been intense, but tolerable. It was the first time I truly believed I could make it as a vegetarian and leave my old life behind. I remembered Alice's knowing smile as she kissed my cheek, grabbed my hand and led me off into the night._

My whole reminiscent thought process was over in a few seconds and I refocused on the nomadic disturbing and unknown nomad's scent and how we should deal with it.

"I don't think they'll come back tonight, but we should keep everyone on alert" I said to him as we met to discuss the situation. He nodded in agreement, his firm and authoritive stance showing how seriously he was taking the situation. "Are the rest of the pack still phased?"

"Yes." I was pleased with his response, knowing they could transmit their thoughts instantly if the need arose and this provided a slight comfort.

In our almost daily conversations I had learned a lot about pack dynamics. In turn I divulged information about the Volturi and the potential danger they posed to Bella and the pack if they were to find out about their existence and the treaty.

The differences between my family and the 'red eyed ones' was accepted by Sam. He appreciated that no other vampires would risk themselves to protect a human as far as he knew. At that point I had explained about the Denali Clan and how we saw them as family. They respected human life as much as Carlisle and I knew if we needed their help they would gladly offer their assistance.

Through our joint efforts to protect Bella and Charlie as well as through the sharing of salient information, I was gaining his respect, and he in turn was gaining mine.

We weren't revealing any information that the other didn't need to know, or we didn't want them to know. I actually found myself enjoying his company; his take on life was refreshing and he felt with such intensity, which seemed to be a wolf trait. While in their wolf form, any emotions they felt were magnified. If one wolf felt protective, their thoughts interlocked with the pack and the feeling flowed between them seamlessly, it was the same with love, caring and hope. Like all groups the pack had their disagreements, however they were never left unresolved. Sam would overrule anybody in order to keep his troops in line. Because of his role as the Alpha, the pack were unable to disobey him.

I had felt all these emotions from them and witnessed their disagreements over these last two weeks, as I dissected their behavior and skills. As a warrior I had spent much of my life training armies and looking for weaknesses and strengths in my opponents. I needed to know that the pack could be depended on. If need be I would discuss training strategies with Sam once I was fully aware of the extent of their abilities. It would give us the best chance of preventing casualties.

None of the other wolves were allowed to patrol with me. I understood why; although Sam had some trust in me, I was still earning it. He was a leader like me and refused to put any of his pack in danger. I was dangerous and I could kill any of them, but I needed each of them alive to fulfil their purpose of protection. Plus killing them would serve no purpose; I was not the dark and calculated murderer of my undead youth. Even if they didn't know what I was capable of, it was fun to keep them guessing.

As we continued to discuss the situation, we realized that with the nomad gone, only one of us needed to patrol the water. Paul was on duty outside the Swan's and would alert us to any further danger. I had some things I needed to think about; the last two weeks had left me little time to fully contemplate my own situation, having been too preoccupied with the occurrences in and around Forks.

I thanked Sam, making my goodbye and went to my favorite little spot by the lake. I had spent as much of my free time here that I could squeeze in lately, whether under the sun or stars.  
>I felt profoundly at peace here.<br>It was a place that held no memories of Alice or the rest of my family.  
>It was my personal sanctuary, a space I had shared with no one. It was the only place where it was possible for me to feel exactly what I was feeling without outside interference; it allowed an intense purity to my thoughts and feelings that I relished.<p>

Tonight I took the time to just relax and filter though my thoughts and emotions since returning to Forks as I indulged in a leisurely dip in the lake. I enjoyed the company of this new group of people I was getting to know. Even Emily, Sam's fiancée, seemed to tolerate me. She had been at Bella's delivering some form of casserole and checking up on her; I appreciated that she made the effort to be polite, much to Bella's surprise. She knew the Quilette's hated the Cullen's though she never knew why.

The stories of the wolves were not mine to tell Bella, though I hated keeping anything from her, it was not my place to divulge their secrets. She would know when they wanted her to know, but if her lack of knowledge posed any threat to her, I would choose her well-being over the secrecy of their legends and tell her instantly. My moral compass was warring with itself, but I knew that Bella's safety came first. I wanted to say it was for my family, for Charlie, for her friends, but I already knew I was becoming more attached to her myself. She was my own personal sunshine. Though her own feelings were still hurt by the actions of my family, her presence alone helped to keep me grounded and my concern for her welfare helped me put my own issues to one side.

While I missed Alice immensely, the fact she hadn't called had helped allow me to deal with our separation. I was not happy about it but I was learning to accept it and I was not uncomfortable being alone, or away from the family. I missed them dearly but the hole left by their presence was becoming bearable and I still got to talk to them on everyday.

Even Rosalie had called to ask about Bella. She was beginning to accept that Bella would always be part of our world, and that not everyone has a choice. Her choice was taken away from her by her brutal rape and attempted murder, Bella's was also taken away by someone she loved. The day Edward had saved her from the van was the day she became a part of our lives and for her safety we couldn't walk away, we'd tried and failed.

I was glad Rosalie was finally accepting Bella as part of the family and not resenting her for making her own choices, mainly due to Rose not agreeing with them. Both women had been betrayed by a man they loved, admittedly under very different circumstances, but they had both been thrust onto paths that meant their futures would be entwined, potentially for eternity. There were painful parallels of betrayal and loss in the life of each woman. One day Bella would know Rosalie's sad tale; until that day, I was grateful to see Rose's concern for the younger woman and was proud of my sister for reaching beyond herself to be concerned for Bella.

It seemed that fate intended for Bella to stay in our lives and I wouldn't complain about that. I liked her, she was the first human ever to befriend me since my change; I also liked-and respected-the fact that if she didn't agree with me she had gumption enough to tell me so. She was strong willed and caring. I appreciated her presence in my life and made sure to treat her with respect and also as an equal.

Esme called daily, asking how I was and when I was coming home. Where was Bella, how was she coping and a million other motherly questions. Although she couldn't be here she needed to know we would be ok. I respected her love for us. She truly was my mother. I hoped she was helping Alice through our breakup, Alice had always been especially close to Esme, and I believed this was the reason she was still with the family. She needed her mother's support and guidance.

No doubt they had some elaborate plan to redesign and redecorate the Alaskan home together; Alice adding her bubbly touches of coordinated color to each and every room. Either that or Alice would be working on designs for a new fashion line which Esme would help her create. She had created many fashion lines over the years under various names. Yet she was still an unknown, and was able to keep her face out of the spotlight but enjoyed watching her stock disappear off the rails. This was in part thanks to one Mr. Jason Jenks and his fake Id's and also his ability to have someone act as a seller for Alice's stock.

Jenks had been a part of our lives for years. For the right amount of money he kept his mouth shut and his office door open. If he couldn't provide what we needed he knew who to ask, but he was the only one to meet any of us face to face. The less direct contact the family had with him the better. I knew we could trust him, but I was his sole contact with the family and I continued to instill fear into him every time we met to insure his ongoing loyalty.

After my latest call with Esme, I reflected on the differences between Alice's interests and mine. I preferred the outdoors, mainly due to my Texas roots which had instilled in me my love of nature. While it provided my food source it offered so much more. Nature worked in cycles. My kind didn't have cycles – we were unending creatures, frozen in time and never changing. I always felt nostalgic watching the cycle of life; birth, life and death which often provided a food source for the next re-birth. Nature's creatures lived with finite time spans while Nature herself is timeless; watching her never-ending cycles of life helped me feel grounded and connected to those cycles, existing beside them if not directly a part of them.

Some of the Volturi had lived for thousands of years and could possibly live for thousands more as long as they were able to fend off attacks and threats. We never knew if or when our end would come. In that respect, we shared the desire to protect our own, to survive and thrive; in that respect, we were no different from any other life form. I found that comforting as I went about the business of protecting Bella.

Sitting by the lake after my swim, I reflected back to what Alice had said, that I would die at some point protecting Bella. I hoped that now that we understood the wolves created holes in her visions, that I could survive this. She had seen me move forward, move on with my existence with an unknown person. As a result, for the first time in a very long while, I was going into a situation blind.

Although I knew myself to be a strong man, I was not ashamed to admit that I needed the advice of my father, a man who had spent centuries with the Volturi. He understood the situation we found ourselves in and I couldn't take chances when the lives of people I care about are at stake. I may be a warrior and a leader but I respected Carlisle's opinion both as my father and the head of our clan, above all others.

I had avoided bringing up the treaty and its amendments with him until I was sure I knew what we were dealing with. This was a conversation I had put off long enough. I picked up my phone and dialled, waiting for the tell tale click of its answer.

"Jasper." Carlisle's voice sounded sincerely happy to hear from me.

"Hi Carlisle. Are you at home or at the hospital?" This was not a conversation for a public place. I prayed that he was able to talk to me alone, preferably without the family eavesdropping. I didn't want them to worry about myself or Bella.

"I'm driving home. What's up son?" Warmth and relief flooded me at those words. Though he wasn't my biological father or my sire, I still felt his concern. He knew instantly that this was not just a social call and something was bothering me. After fifty years of living under the same roof he knew all of my reactions and tones of voice, and exactly what each one meant. The most awe inspiring part was that he cared about each and every one, and knew exactly how I was feeling.

"I need to talk to you about Forks" hesitation filtered into my words. I knew he would be able to put things in perspective and hopefully shed light on the masked scent of the nomad, "but could you keep this conversation to yourself."

I heard the car pull off the road and the engine went dead. I had his full attention, without the potential of anyone overhearing. I was grateful that he respected the privacy I had asked him for. "Has something happened to Bella?" His voice was pained, partially from his own hurt and the possibility of the family losing her for a second time.

"She's coping. She misses everyone deeply, but we all hurt her when we left. She'll forgive you but it'll take time." I hoped this would ease his worries slightly. Edwards actions had affected everybody, he'd run off and left everyone else to deal with the consequences of his abandonment.

"Carlisle I need to talk to you about Edward. He lied to Bella about why we left. He told her he didn't want her, didn't love her and that she was just a distraction." My own anger at my brother was trying to take hold. "The pain I felt from her was crippling. Why would he do that to her?" I took a calming breath while waiting for Carlisle's response.

"I'm not sure, but Edward was always trying to protect Bella and believed she needed a clean break." Shock was evident in his every word, but quickly morphed into sadness as he realized that his daughter thought they all saw her as a distraction, "I hope she didn't think we all left feeling that way."

"She's human Carlisle and she doesn't have the life experience that we do. She's wise beyond her years, but Edward was and still is her first love. She believed him and it'll take time for her to trust anyone again." Somehow Bella had already forgiven me, but in her eyes I had been gone for less than an hour before I returned. She had forgiven Emmett and I hoped she would forgive the rest of the family as quickly.

"Tell her we miss her. We want to call but we don't want to pressure her." His emotions cracked as sorrow filled his voice. "Alice said she's doing better because you're there." We all knew of Alice's original vision, which prompted my return; without my intervention Bella would have been dead, I couldn't help but think there was more to this situation than I was aware of.

"Carlisle. Bella is stronger than you think." Bella was stronger than any of them anticipated. She may be human but she was resilient, she had survived James attack without an ounce of regret. She just needed to keep sight of the dream of a happier future to keep her going. At the moment she was strong for Charlie and me, and slowly she was becoming stronger for herself. She was her own woman, and her success with her internal struggle made her stronger every day.

None of us had seen this side of her in the past. It was only after returning and getting to know her better that I began to understand the puzzle that is Bella. There was only so much I could put into words for my family; her resilience had to be seen to be believed. When the family returned they would see how much she had grown and changed over these few weeks. She was never the weak human that Edward portrayed, he was wrong, and when the family returned they would see how wrong he was.

"Jasper you seem very protective of her?" His voice held an edge of appreciation mixed with concern. I didn't really want to read too deeply into his emotions. After years together we knew each other inside out, as we had confided in each other constantly over that time and learned a lot about and from each other.

"I am. Edward caused a lot of hurt with his words and actions and I'm not sure either myself or Bella can forgive him for it. She could have died Carlisle." I needed him to understand the depth of the potential consequences of Edward's actions. "I came back to protect her and that is precisely what I'm doing. I promised Alice." I had to struggle momentarily to keep my temper in check; I had been angry since my return with little chance to vent it and there was no reason for me to take my frustration out on my father - it wasn't his fault after all. Carlisle was very compassionate and I knew he would not judge me for feeling the strain.

"Jasper. Why are you so protective of Bella? I know she's human, but you were never this protective of her before, not even this protective of Alice." He kept his voice purposefully neutral, holding back any trace of whatever emotions he may have been feeling. I wondered if it was as much to insure my complete honesty as well as his desire not to influence my response. I wasn't sure what he was expecting, but I trusted him completely and I would be as honest with him as possible.

"Alice can look after herself. Her gift gives her a strong advantage in most situations. Plus she has the rest of the family around her. Bella has Charlie, and now the pack to protect her, but with Bella's luck I don't think it will be enough. She was deeply hurt when we abandoned her and those wounds will take longer to heal. I promised I would protect her and bring her back to the family and that is exactly what I'll do. Unless she decides she doesn't want to return, but it will be her choice." I was affected by the turn of this conversation more than I wanted to admit. I prayed more than anything that Bella would always need my help. I enjoyed her company, and found myself looking forward to the time I got to spend with her.

"The pack?" I could hear the surprise in Carlisle's voice on hearing this revelation. As far as he was concerned the wolves died out with Ephraim Black. Every time we had spoken since my departure, other family members had been present and I had not had the chance to speak to him privately. Today was the first time I had the opportunity to tell him everything.

"The wolves have returned to the Reservation. Sam said it was because we came back."

"You know them?"

"Things have changed since my return Carlisle. The situation with Bella and Charlie's safety at stake has necessitated a temporary re-negotiation of the terms of the treaty." I went on to explain the dropping of the treaty lines and details of the twenty-four hour patrols, and of the scents we had discovered.

I avoided telling him about my nights spent with Bella. I wasn't sure why I avoided telling him, but my nights with Bella seemed to be a time when it was just the two of us getting to know each other. A time when the rest of the world didn't exist and I got to be myself; no human facade, and Bella never judged me for it. I was scared to admit how dependant I had become on her since my return. I also knew that if Edward found out about our nights together, no matter how innocent, he would not be happy. He might-most likely would-try to fight me, but he would never win; I was stronger and he knew it. I didn't want a fight as I didn't want to deal with Esme's disappointed face after that encounter, or the emotions that would go with it.

Carlisle seemed impressed with my negotiating skills. I had been in the Southern Wars and negotiations usually involved bloodshed and terror induced by my gift and fighting skills. Carlisle and I had spent many nights in the last decades discussing the politics, motivations, strategies and complexities of war. We both held a solid respect for each other, due to our past experiences, many of which included surviving war and it's effects and how they had shaped the men we had become.

"You said the scent was somewhat familiar?" I could hear the confusion in his voice. He was as apprehensive as I was by the knowledge that there was a scent in the vicinity that I could recognize. I knew more than ever I needed to be alert.

"Yes, but it was masked in some way. I recognised it, but somehow they knew how to avoid detection." This was the most interesting point. I had perfect recall, it was impossible for me not to recall the scent or be able to place it, but I didn't and someone knew exactly what they were doing. "Have you ever heard of it happening before?"

He went quiet for a few seconds contemplating any similar scenarios and possibilities over his centuries of life. "No, but they must have a gift. I'll speak to Eleazer. See what he knows." He was quiet again for a moment. He was obviously unnerved by the turn of events over the last few weeks. His whole family had been happy until Bella's birthday party. She had granted me forgiveness, but it would be years before I granted it to myself.

"Jasper. I think the family needs to return. We won't let you do this alone." His tone was final. If they were coming back they needed to stay after this mess blew over.

"I don't know if it's a good idea Carlisle." I needed my family, but wanted to speak to Bella first. Their return affected her as much as the rest of us. I wanted to make sure her feelings and wishes were taken into consideration.

"If you come back it will matter to her if the family returns because you want to be a part of her life and not because she's in danger." She was only now coming to terms with her loss, and her conversations with Emmett and I had been helping immensely. I wouldn't let them put her through the pain again. She deserved to be treated with respect as well as love, just the way she treated us.

"Jasper." His tone was fatherly with an undertone of hurt. "We want to come home. I know Emmett talks to her about it." Emmett had mentioned to Bella that the family wanted to come home, and that Alice and Edward wouldn't be returning any time soon. I remembered Bella's reaction to the news; her emotions and the tears that followed. Her hope being the prominent emotion, knowing that my family would return to her.

"This is the perfect opportunity for us to do that." He missed his daughter and wanted his family whole again. "We'll be home before Christmas." Carlisle was speaking as the head of the coven. He would not be swayed from returning his family home. He was righting a wrong, protecting those he cared about. Edward had left. Alice would probably be chasing her own destiny, whatever had been shown to her in a vision. I wanted to ask where that was, but I wasn't sure I could cope with the answer just yet.

"Why so long?" I was confused why they wouldn't try to be home sooner. I think a slight amount of longing for them seeped into my voice. I was torn between my need to be around my family and my need to do what was right for Bella; to complete the mission I was sent for. I was not ashamed to admit how much I missed them.

"Alice says we should wait. She's seen many outcomes and she says this is the best for everyone. However, with the wolves causing holes in her visions, we'll be close by in case anything happens. One phone call Jasper and we'll be there." His voice held authority. He respected mine, Alice's and Edward's gifts and the advantages they gave our coven. Yet as its leader he would take the facts and everyone's opinions and make the final decision. His centuries of life allowed him a deeper insight into the world, an insight we all respected.

"Thanks." I felt better knowing they were close. It would allow me time to discuss things with Bella, I realised I had come to value her opinion.

The conversation was drawing to a close and I knew what I needed to ask, but I was afraid of the answer. I had loved my wife for decades. She had been my saviour. I needed to know she would be ok.

"How's Alice?" My voice was slightly pained. I knew Carlisle understood the real question. _How is Alice coping?_ He knew how much I had loved her. I couldn't bear the thought of her in pain.

"She's lost a little bit of her spark, but she's still Alice. Yesterday she dragged Esme to the mall. I think she's trying to single handedly reboot the economy." I smiled wryly, still my Alice. Then I winced at the thought. She was no longer my Alice.

"She's keeping close tabs on the future. She saw something that disturbed her, but she won't talk about it." I could feel how much it hurt him, to not be able to make his daughter feel better. "She won't even talk to Esme. The most she'll say is it's personal." Personal to Alice, would mean the one thing she wasn't ready to discuss with the family – me. I ached to take her heartache away.

"She'd warn us if it was danger." I tried to move the conversation away from the raw emotions and get any more answers I could. I knew already that Alice would be ok eventually, and that was all I needed to know; for the moment, it was all I could handle.

"I know, but she's hurting. Will you ever come back to her?" Would I? I had accepted I had to let her go, and I had released her, she'd asked me to. I didn't have the strength to lose her a second time. I still cared for her, but my love for her was changing with our time apart. I think that was due in some part to the twin realities of distance and the pressure of keeping Bella safe.

"Not as her husband." I felt like I was tying up my past slowly, one little thread at a time. Alice had seen me move forward and be happy again. I needed to believe that could be true. I had a future; although I didn't know what it was yet I was looking forward to exploring it when it was finally a reality. I prayed that Alice could be happy too. Somehow that thought did not incite the gut wrenching pain I was expecting; it was more than a twinge but not crippling.

"Jasper. The hospital is calling. I'll speak to you soon."

"Ok Carlisle. Say hi to the family for me"

"Will do. Tell Bella we say hi, and tell her we'll come home soon." I smiled at the word _home_ as he ended the call. Forks really had become my home, a place to put down roots and settle for a little while. This had been the first place in a long time that I felt welcome outside of the vampire world, but I knew at some point I would have to leave. I would have to leave before anyone noticed that I wasn't aging. Hopefully I wouldn't be the only one to leave. It would always remain Bella's choice, but again I hoped she would come too, when it was time for us to move on again.

With that I started the steady stroll back to my house, a quick shower and change before I visited Bella. Although it was a Saturday she would be waking up soon and I wanted to deliver Carlisles' message and see if we could talk about their return.

I had the feeling today would be an interesting day. Today I would tell her the story of my past, and I was willing to tell her anything she needed or wanted to

**Hope you liked the chapter. I spent many hours working on it, and thanks to my beta, Twilightbloom, for working patiently with me on this. **

**Reviews would be the best birthday present ever. Pretty please?**

**Time for me to start the next chapter. I will get it up as soon as I can x**

**Oh and congratulations to Jackson on the announcement of his impending fatherhood. As long as he's happy that's all that counts x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the wait for this chapter, thanks for sticking by me. It's taken seven drafts, several broken nails and a lot of handholding from my beta Twilightbloom to get this chapter to you. I'm finally happy with it. Jasper and I are really nervous but excited for your reaction. **

**Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed, you guys/girls rock. Here's the next chapter of SID x.**

**Disclaimer: characters property of SM.**

The sun shone down on the back porch, highlighting the red ﬂecks in Bella's hair as she leaned back against the ﬂaking porch railing, the depth of the light enhancing her already pale complexion. Her eyes were closed and her knees pulled up to her chest, enjoying the peace and the rare moment of warmth in the early morning October sun.

I revelled in the contentment her presence bought me. It was very rare to feel this much at ease and I relished it, unwilling to break the silence in the tranquil cocoon we had created. The back of her house was fairly secluded and I knew that I would hear a human and could hide from the sun's rays before being detected.

I sat facing her, my back against the railing across from her, my legs outstretched as I studied Bella's emotions. She was fascinating, her calm demeanour didn't fool me; I could feel the remnants of her painful emotional turmoil that was slowly fading with each passing day, being replaced by more frequent moments of emotional peace. I had a feeling the pain would always hold a small fraction of her heart. I had felt it so many times in my existence from others I encountered; the small ﬂecks of heartbreak on the road of life; the pieces that make us stronger and let us learn to cope with the twists and turns that are put in the way to challenge us.

This wasn't the first type of heartbreak Bella had experienced. She seemed to have taken the departure from her mother like any other daughter would; she missed her deeply. Although, Bella knew that by moving away and being back with her father, she was giving her mother the space needed to help her step-father follow his dreams. Bella was selfless in everything she did, even if it caused her pain. I admired that about her. We had spoken briefly about her past, but I wanted to know more about her life and the experiences that had shaped the girl in front of me. I wanted to know more about her life in Phoenix and how it really affected her leaving each of her parents had influenced the person she was now.

Although she didn't often say it, I could feel the deep love she had for both of her parents. Whenever her mother would call her face would light up as she heard Renee's voice on the phone. Her expressive brown eyes would hold love and amusement as she heard of Phil's latest baseball stories, or another of her mother's hare brained obsessions, the latest being knitting. Although she tried to hide it I could feel the disappointment and feel her longing for her mother as she ended the calls. I never mentioned it. As an empath I knew how she was feeling, but sometimes these feelings needed to be worked through alone. I would always be here if she needed to talk.

I had also noticed that Bella would also unconsciously incline her body towards the door when she heard her father's cruiser pull into the drive, unknowingly reaching out to the father, she had missed so much of her life, even if she didn't realise that she had missed him. While they never spoke much, they were close in their own way and it was comforting to watch. Her grief over losing my family as well as Edward, if even for a short time, had made her appreciate the family she already had just a little bit more. I was glad I was there with her to see this small but signiﬁcant transformation happen.

I think that the way Edward left her scratched open the wounds of her previous losses, first moving away from her father and then moving away from her mother. Although the second had been Bella's choice, Edward's leaving had had the effect of rendering her powerless and this was a new reality for her.

I hoped that today she would open up and provide another puzzle piece of the amazingly complicated girl I had come to depend on; just being around her each day made it easier to cope with my own worries. She was the salve to my wounded soul and slowly but surely, with her help, I was healing.

I had seen so much change in Bella and was impressed with how mature she was especially in dealing with her heartbreak after we agreed to help each other. I was scared that I was becoming irreversibly reliant on her and her opinions. She grounded me in a way that Alice never could.

Alice had been my rock, but with Bella it felt different; we were almost equals, neither of us better than the other, each accepted the other for what and who we were no matter what we did or how we acted. I knew deep down that I could be completely honest with her about anything and she would accept me. It was hard enough apologising for her birthday and seeing the forgiveness in her eyes. I could never forgive myself for that and her acceptance made the cuts of my own remorse deeper. I knew I'd have to talk to her about the way I had changed since my return, but how could I, when I wasn't sure what was happening myself, also would it be possible to vocalize that these changes whilst daunting excited me?

I felt it was this combination of observations and the swirl of emotions she raised in me that made me feel as though I owed her the truth of my past, but it went deeper than that. And I wasn't sure why it was so signiﬁcant that I told her today. It wasn't something that I could just open a conversation with, "Hey Bella, by the way I used to murder humans and vampires for sport. Want to hang out?" probably not the best approach.

I also didn't want her to think any less of me because of my past or the monster I had truly been so long ago. I was a changed man, one who was beginning to feel worthy of her friendship; above all else, I felt that she deserved my honesty after all the pain I had caused her since her birthday. I couldn't understand why this was so signiﬁcant to me. I had told the family of my past of course, but I had always withheld some of the more violent and evil actions I had participated in or led at the lowest, basest, but most powerful time of my existence. None of them felt the need to know too many details; they knew the true danger our kind posed to any human, especially Bella with her closeness to our family. Yet they always tried to comfort me and say my past actions didn't matter, all the while watching me closely to make sure my bloodlust was under control. I felt that this "confession" or telling would be a cleansing experience for me and help me feel truly open with at least one person. My family had accepted me, but they never truly trusted me. My recent actions at Bella's birthday party only added to the trust issues that already existed with my bloodlust.

I was willing to let go and allow Bella to see the real me; the parts that are not so calm and safe. I reasoned that this is so she can make her choice to remain a friend or remove herself from my life if she was too traumatized by what I would tell her.

I was at a crossroads; the point where I was willing to have something to lose, if she accepted my past I knew I would never be able to let go of our friendship. I had come to count on on her small smiles and knowing looks, especially when she chastised me when trying to do things for her, or things she didn't like. She was so strong and independent, and hated to be a burden to others. What she always failed to see is that the only person who saw her as a burden was herself. Everybody wanted to help her heal and to see her smile; one grateful smile was all it took to know you had made her day. I had noted that the smiles were becoming more frequent as the days passed. A lot of that was due to Emmett's bombardment of cheery calls.

I knew Bella well enough now that I believed she would always be there for me and never leave no matter how much I told her. She was all forgiving, and loved those she allowed close with her whole heart. I think that is why the family leaving so abruptly had caused her so much trauma.

Her warm chocolate eyes opened and were ﬁxed on me with an open directness. "You're staring." She didn't seem annoyed, but a small ﬂush crept onto her cheeks; embarrassment taking center stage but taking a back seat to her sincere and innocent - yet friendly ‐ desire to know just why I was staring at her.

"Sorry." I looked down embarrassed, thanking the heavens that I couldn't blush too. "I was just looking at the way the sun affects your hair. It looks red in the sunlight."

She shifted her position, stretching up as a tiny sliver of skin on her stomach was exposed before being quickly covered as she semi-relaxed. Her face pulled into a small frown, as a smile played at the corners of her mouth, "and you sparkle in the sunlight, but you don't see me staring." She was teasing me, something I didn't mind in the slightest, but her words also held an edge. She didn't like being the center of attention and she found my stare uncomfortable. "My apologies Ma'am". I offered her a slight bow and she smiled knowing I was sorry for making her uncomfortable.

After several minutes Bella broke the silence, "Mom always said the sun made my hair red." I could feel the longing for her mother in her voice. Even after all this time she still missed her deeply. "You miss her." It wasn't a question.

"I do" she replied quietly; I felt like she wanted to say more, but I wouldn't push her. She was usually a very private person except with those she truly trusted and she left herself completely open to them. I could feel her opening up to me a little more with each passing day and was quietly pleased. "Do you remember much of your human life Jasper?" Her emotions were steady as if testing how open I was willing to be with her before she could possibly open up to me about her own past. "Edward always said that vampires forgot most of their human memories?" That was the ﬁrst time she had said Edward's name without cringing or being totally engulfed by waves of pain. I smiled at her, pleased with how far she'd come and I sensed that she was aware of her progress and thankful for her growth.

I suddenly realized that as each day passed I had been coming to grips with my own situation, and thoughts of Alice no longer filled me with the pain it had before. Progress had been slow but Bella and I were both healing, one day at a time.

"I have more human memories than most." I thought back to the night of my change and the three beautiful women that had stood before me, near Galveston. I had approached them and dismounted my horse, hoping to save them by evacuating them from the city. It may have been my job but I gained great fulfilment knowing I was saving others lives. It gained me respect from my family, but it gave me a deep routed respect for myself. I was at war putting my own life on the line in the name of honour while offering comfort to those in need. Little did I know these three women would be damning me to an initial existence of pain and terror that would be followed by decades of never-ending war and a demon infested horrific reality beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

"Bella. How much do you know of my history?" I paused gauging her reaction, I needed to broach this conversation carefully, I couldn't afford to scare her too early. All I felt was curiosity and wonder with a small trickle of excitement bubbling away below the surface.

"Not much just that you came from a different background and that you struggle feeding from animals. Edward wouldn't talk about it much and Alice only gave me basic details in our Bella Barbie sessions." She said that last part with an odd concoction of longing and disgust in her voice. She had hated my wife dressing her, but perhaps she would allow it if it meant seeing her again. I knew it was too soon for me to see her again, so those thoughts would be filed away for now. "I always asked why you kept your distance from me. Alice said it was because you struggled the most with their diet choice, because you'd been brought up differently from the rest of the Cullen's. Edward avoided the topic constantly, only saying that he didn't want me to know about the change or what it meant to become a vampire. He wanted me to stay human. At least now I know why." Her voice was pained and her familiar feelings of worthlessness and betrayal breached the walls she had carefully built around herself since the night Edward left.

I had reminded her on more than one occasion that he had lied to her in the forest, but as she reminded me, the bad stuff is easier to believe. I understood that completely, my own family had been on constant guard waiting for me to slip and give in to the bloodlust, but these last few weeks had changed not only Bella but me as well. I was stronger because I believed in myself and I would help Bella work through her own negative emotions. I thought back to the day I had first come home to her and how we'd both agreed to try and move on, and right now she needed my reassurance.

I reached out and touched her arm, bringing her back to the present moment, wanting to help her understand. "He didn't want you to change 'cause in Edward's way of looking at the world, allowing you to give up your existence for him would be an act of selfishness that kept you from having a 'normal' human life and he didn't want to deprive you of the experiences that make up a full and happy human life. He loved you Bella and if I know my brother he always will; our kind do not forget even if we do learn to adapt to changes" I let my words sink in. I could see her trying to believe what I had said, but no matter how many times I told her she continued in her struggle to believe it. "Bella sometimes leaving someone you love is the right thing to do." Even as I spoke the words I prayed I was right. I thought of her reasons for leaving her mother and realized that although the situations were different, there were some comparisons she could draw from. "Edward was scared that he would lose you." Her anger flared, "he was scared that we could kill you. He left because he needed you safe, we all did. Bella it was because we love you that we had to leave."

Her anger was still there, I could sense the betrayal behind her words, "Then you all should have talked to me about it. He lied to me Jasper." I could feel the righteous anger emanating from her in waves as she spoke the words that shocked me to the core, "I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him for lying to me." She was all forgiving, what had caused this turn in her demeanour.

"Bella?" I was confused, we'd all hurt her.

"Jasper he didn't give me a choice, he lied. There is no way I could trust him again. If he'd come back and explained it himself I would have considered forgiving him, but he hasn't. Does he even know you're here?"

"No." She was shocked and curious, "He hasn't called since he left, and Carlisle thinks it best that we all get settled back in Forks before we break the news. Edward is his son and I respect Carlisle's decision." Bella had seen the family interact over the months we'd known her but I wasn't sure if she realized how much respect I had for my father's decisions.

Bella broke the silence, "Jasper I need more time, can we talk about something else." I could feel her inner conflict.

"Bella, don't ever feel guilty asking for something you need." I hoped she could feel the sincerity of my words.

"Can you tell me your story?" I could hear the pleading tone in her voice, and see the need to digest and go over our previous topic while she was alone. She was still raw under the surface; although she wasn't comfortable dealing with it right now, I knew she would deal with her emotions later without my prying empathic abilities.

"My human memories are strong and that is unusual for my kind. The night of my change I knew that I should be afraid as I came upon the three women; my instincts were telling me to run, but I was a soldier and I didn't run from anything. I couldn't understand why I should fear them. Maria, the woman who changed me, leaned in as if to kiss my neck and the next thing I knew, I was burning. My blood felt like it was boiling and cooking me from the inside out." Bella looked down at her wrist and traced the scar she had received from James. I knew from the lines of her face that she was remembering that ballet studio in Phoenix and how she herself had felt when she'd been bitten. I waited for her to look back to me before continuing. We sat in silence for a moment, sharing, thinking and trusting in each other's company; None of our silences ever seemed forced or uncomfortable, they just seemed to become more controlled a more natural and relaxed part of our time together. In that atmosphere, I continued with the truth of my existence.

"I burned for the next three days, each moment I thought of my family; my mother's face when I had left for war and how I'd promised her I would come home; my childhood playing a new game called "baseball" with my brothers. I think that's why I love baseball so much to this day" I thought back to the many times I had played with both my human and vampire families. I was becoming unusually nostalgic remembering my human family, all of whom I assume died decades earlier. Something I had come to terms with long ago. "My mother was a strong willed woman; she ran the family like an army. What she said we did and did without argument. I learned from a young age how to charm her and get my own way. I think it's part of me that I brought into this life and I suspect it's one of the reasons I cherish my gift as much as I do." I realised how much Bella reminded me of my human mother; both strong, deeply loving and independent women.

"Sounds like you were close to them." The wistful note in her voice made me wonder if she was thinking about her own parents and their importance in her life.

"I was. I'm from Texas Bella, and from a time when all we had was each other; nothing is more important than family." I thought of Carlisle and the rest of my family. That rule, that deﬁning principle, still applied to my life even now be that family Cullen or Swan. I was here protecting Bella, and she was as important to me as the rest of the family.

I felt a slight twinge of pain from Bella and realized how those words must have aﬀected her. The Cullen's were her family too, but they had followed Edward's wishes and left her behind. A part of her was still struggling to come to terms with that. If only she knew how much we fought to stay with her or take her with us it might help her to better understand, but it was not my story to tell. She needed the whole family there for that story to be told, from each person's perspective.

"That's what Emmett said." I could just imagine him sitting there declaring his love for his sister. "He's coming to visit in the next couple of weeks." She smiled at the next part, "he's taking a break from college."

She was so at ease with the lies we told to keep our existence secret. "Thank you." I was sincere in my words. No human should ever be this accepting of us. They were our prey; yet as always Bella surprised me with the depth of her acceptance. "I know you realize the consequences of knowing our secret." We had spoken of it the night I returned and at other points in the last weeks, she knew if the Volturi realized that she knew our secret and we'd left her alive, she would be killed. I would die trying to protect her as I would any of my family members unless she chose dying over being turned. "but you continue to protect us. Even when we don't deserve it."

"Jasper, you came back for me when everyone else was leaving." I expected her to feel anger, but all I got was acceptance, and gratitude? "I don't know how I would have coped without you here. You didn't have to spend so much time with me." I wanted to correct her, but I knew she was right. I used to use helping Bella as an excuse to avoid the house, but now I found myself enjoying her company. Everything seemed so comfortable around her.

I found myself smiling. "It works both ways Bella, you've helped me too." I've not had a true friend other than Peter and Charlotte since I was turned. Yet Bella was somehow more than a friend to me, she had become my lifeline.

It was as if she was destined to be intertwined with us in some way. I'm glad she was slowly allowing each of the family back into her life. Emmett had missed his little sister dearly and she'd finally allowed him to come back. I could imagine the huge grin on the gentle giant and the playfully excitable demeanor that Rose would be dealing with now. I made a mental note to call her later.

"I spoke to Carlisle. He says the family are moving back to Forks before Christmas." I waited to gauge her reaction. No surprise or shock, but a small amount of uncertainty was evident in her expression. "Emmett told me this morning. We talked about it for a while." I felt a flicker of hurt, surprised that it was from me, rather than Bella. Why was I hurt that he had broken the news to her? He was as much of a brother to her as I was. Was I really that much of a sap to be bothered by it?

"He explained the reasons behind everyone leaving, the same as you did. I spoke to Esme; she spent the whole time sobbing and apologising." Sounds like my mother, I'm glad she was slowly letting them back into her life one by one.

"I'm ready to talk to them again." She paused as she seemed to contemplate something, and I could sense her feeling slightly unworthy and a fraction of hurt with a touch of pain thrown in for good measure; I was pleased to see her recognize and attempt to derail the negativity. She settled her emotions a bit and continued. "I want to be mad at Alice, she was my best friend and she left without saying goodbye. I want to shout and scream and yell at her, but I understand why she did it. I'm angry at myself for feeling that way." Her anger slipped in as her words left her mouth. Although it would take time for her to trust everyone again, she wanted our family back and that was the biggest hurdle of all. Her anger escalated with her words and I waited, knowing the storm would be brief. She reigned her anger in and calmed a bit, "I know it's going to take me time to trust everyone one again but Jasper, I miss them more than I'm angry or hurt and...I just want them back."

I could understand now why Alice was asking the family to stay away a little longer. She wanted to allow Bella time to adjust, to learn to trust everyone again; and since they were best friends she knew Bella better than anyone. I felt gratitude for the woman I had called a wife for the last few decades. She knew her friend and her family better than anyone, even if she was manipulating the situation to allow the best possible outcome. That was just Alice.

"I know better than anyone that emotions don't always follow what your head says." I was careful to make it sound understanding; I didn't want her to think I was being patronizing. "Bella you never have to worry about being honest with me; I won't judge you for the way you feel." She looked at me checking to make sure I was being honest. I smiled at her, Bella was entitled to feel that way if she wished.

She smiled at me and cocked her head thoughtfully and then asked, "Do you miss her?" That was a loaded question without an easy answer. Everything had changed in the last few weeks and I wasn't sure I could answer that question honestly, as I didn't know the answer myself.

"Do you miss Edward?" It was a rhetorical question. As much as we loved those who'd left us, there were still conflicting emotions for us both. She shrugged at my words. We both knew the answer to the others emotions, and I didn't even need my gift to know that.

We both sat, contemplating our situations. The silence shifted, becoming charged as I felt Bella's mind working overtime as her emotions ﬂickered at almost vamp speed between each other. "Jasper. What was your life like before the Cullen's?" I knew her natural curiosity would kick in at some point. I just didn't expect it now, she constantly surprised me which, while unnerving was a fresh addition to my long existence.

"The complete opposite of everything the Cullen's stand for; my birth into this life was the stuﬀ of nightmares." I proceeded to tell her the truth of the Southern wars, the constant daily carnage that I lived through, and the way it ampliﬁed my gift; hate, pain and anger from others fuelling my own, making me twice as deadly and dangerous as any opponent that was placed in front of me; the constant ebb and ﬂow of anger and power as I defeated every opponent that stood in my way, either within my own ranks or those of the enemy. That was the reason Maria had promoted me. As new borns we fought amongst ourselves and Maria had to make more. By promoting me our numbers swelled increasing my own worth within the ranks, and in turn the power of Maria's army. I used the pent up anger and aggression to unleash pain and terror on our opponents and it proved catastrophic to their numbers.

I monitored her emotions closely, never once feeling fear from her. Hurt and understanding enveloped me like a security blanket, but I could understand the depth of the disgust that was intertwined with it. I had done some hideous things in my past and Bella was only now getting to understand the true nature of our kind. Edward had always treated Bella like a fragile doll and kept things from her. I was sparing her no details, and for the ﬁrst time in the months of knowing her she was having a semi-expected reaction; she was disgusted with the things I had done.

"Is that how you got your scars." I was shocked that she had noticed them and not said anything. How had she seen them? They were almost undetectable to the human eye. Most people run away or flinch when they realize how mutilated my skin really is. Even my own family had trouble adapting at first; among our kind, battle scars such as mine were a warning, a sign of a dangerous, deadly being capable of great violence who should be avoided. As if by reflex I nervously pulled the sleeves of my shirt further down my wrists and over my hands. Bella had a way of making me feel vulnerable and human.

"Yes. How did you see them?" I needed to know so I could be more careful around humans. I didn't need them seeing them and asking questions.

"When you pull the chair over in my room at night you sit directly under the lamp light." I hadn't even thought that she would pay that much attention. "I didn't want to mention it and make you uncomfortable." Her cheeks flushed crimson. I felt pride as I realized that my bloodlust had completely dissipated as a result of being around her. Right now I didn't even feel a twinge. Carlisle would be so pleased with my progress.

"They are a big part of who I am, of what I was." I felt slightly ashamed, knowing I should hate everything I was, but they had given me an innate strength and I felt like I could deal with anything after those years of intense pain. "I was a killer, each and every vampire that gave me a scar died, except Peter, we had a scuffle and I chose to let him live." I waited to gauge her reaction before continuing. I needed to know she wouldn't be scared by the depth of horror I had lived through and been a part of. She sat forward, pulling her knees closer to her chest and waited for me to continue. I could feel sadness, anger and a little bit of excitement.

"Bella why do I feel excitement from you?" I was worried this emotion seemed so out of place.

She blushed again and looked a little uncomfortable, "You're being honest with me, and you don't sugar coat things. I like it." She was embarrassed to admit she wanted to know more about me. I could understand that. I had sat here earlier and questioned why I needed to know more about her too.

Bella's expression turned serious, I was now prepared for the backlash to my story, I expected it; half needed it to know she had really listened to all I told her. "Jasper." Her voice was low almost indecipherable to human ears, "I know you are a different person now, but what you went through, what you did. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know your past isn't your fault." Her anger grew with her words, making me want to flinch. This was the first person in a long time whose reaction I truly cared about. "I'm glad you told me, I needed to know, but I can't understand why you feel no remorse."

I had opened the floodgates to my own feelings while retelling my story, part of our unspoken game, allowing Bella to feel everything with each spoken word. "Bella. I was ashamed of the scars for the first few decades I lived with the Cullen's but my family has helped me come to understand that much of the strength of the man I am today comes from having survived those years of fighting. Every single scar I have is a story of survival." I watched as she traced her own scar again, before returning her attention to me. Her expression was inquisitive but the anger was still present.

"How many scars do you have?" I felt she really needed to know, but this would be the point she saw the depth of my grizzly past. For every scar I had, I had killed hundreds more. Not many got close enough to take a bite. Yet the number of humans I had murdered or fed from was greater than that.

"Thousands." She nodded, and I felt her sadness.

"It must have been hard for you to kill so many?" I expected disgust, but all I felt was sorrow. I relaxed more knowing she wasn't scared of me now, I didn't want to admit it but I was terrified she would reject me when she understood the whole truth.

"I was brought into this world not knowing of anything but war and terror. At first I killed for survival, but as Maria my sire promoted me through the ranks I began to enjoy the power I held as I chose who lived and died. It took me decades to gain a conscience, and many more before the depression set in. Being an empath I felt the pain of every single victim." She moved next to me sensing I needed some form of comfort. She was in caretaking mode. As much as I wanted to correct her, I was fine reliving my past, but I liked that she cared enough about me to offer any support she could.

"I don't regret any of my past. Some of my actions were despicable, but they led me to Peter and Charlotte, Alice and the Cullen's. Without my time in the wars I would never have met any of them, and even though I'm not with Alice now she has been an important part of my life for decades."

She absorbed my words, watching me closely as if gauging my reactions to her questions or to the things I told her. I knew Edward had withheld things from her, and I felt she was worried I would clam up and do the same. Yet sat here with her, with Bella Swan, sitting here next to her, I felt safe in the knowledge that she could deal with the truths I was sharing with her. After a moment she asked her next question, "How did you get away?"

I told her about the constant killing of the newborn's after their ﬁrst year; how Peter had almost rebelled and I had pulled rank. The amount of love, anger and fear that had hit me when Charlotte had been the next in line to die. The excruciating pain that hit my emotions as Peter yelled "RUN" and Charlotte had followed his orders. I let them go. Peter had been my closest companion and I couldn't bear the thought of killing him. My gift had made up my mind. The amount of love they shared, both then and too this day proving I had made the right choice.

Maria had punished me for letting them go. She had made an example of me; removing my limbs and instantly fusing them back over and over, in front of my army. The pain was excruciating, but the humiliation was worse than any physical pain she could have inflicted. She wouldn't look or speak to me for days, only speaking to me out of necessity on army business. Before, I had always been rewarded well and fed as much as I liked, but now I was treated like any of the other soldiers, fed on a roster and not allowed to play with my food, which usually involved raping them before I drained them dry.

I carried on in her ranks as her Major for another five years before Peter came back. He returned at the right time. I had felt Maria's emotions, I knew she was about to turn on me, but we had always been close. In my own way I loved her, I loved her power, her strength and her tenacity. She may have been a killer hell-bent on revenge but was I any better? I had lived for the carnage for years and admired her. It was only after Peter's departure that I began to resent the existence I led and its constant flood of negative emotions.

I never wanted to kill my maker, my only ally and the core of my existence. We tentatively parted ways but we've spoken a few times over the last few decades. She knows I won't come back, and we both know it's for the best. I'm not the cold blooded killer I used to be. I had found an existence where I could be me, could fight to protect those I cared about, rather than for personal gain.

I explained my time with Peter and Charlotte and how I had left them to find another way to live. The hunger I had felt as I denied myself food in order to prevent another person from being killed. How it had all led me to Alice in that little Philadelphia diner, and eventually the Cullen's. We had been talking for hours. She stayed by my side throughout offering her support.

I was so caught up in all the emotions the memories of my past evoked and I projected each one as I recalled my history so Bella could see the depth of how my past had truly affected me and how I'd come to terms with it over the years; the pain, the horror, the relief as Peter saved me. She should be scared and hate me for what I was, what I had been. Instead all I felt from her now was affection, understanding and a dollop of ire.

Bella waited for me to finish. "You're stronger than you think Jasper." Her words hit me on a deep level; while she didn't like my past she wouldn't push me away because of it. I felt relief at her words. My family often saw me as weak, she was the only one who saw who I was trying to be. I looked directly at her searching her eyes for any amount of doubt which I expected to find. There was none. I was flooded with gratitude and offered Bella a genuine smile letting her know how much her words meant to me.

"You lived through all that pain and never once gave up. You didn't know there was another way, but you fought on regardless. When the time came you found a different way. I think I'll like Peter." I was amused and thankful for the depth of Bella's understanding.

"I think he'll like you too. Though he still follows a more traditional diet." I wouldn't lie to her and it was important she understood his preference for human blood. Though by not denying himself he was less of a danger to her than my family.

"If he keeps his teeth to himself we'll be fine." She was matter of fact in her response. She was unfazed by anything my world threw at her.

"He will or I'll remove a limb or two." Even the thought of Bella being hurt made my stomach lurch. What was wrong with me?

"You sound just like Emmett."

"Great." A smile graced her lips as I mumbled my response.

"It's not a bad thing." With that she stood, holding out her hand to me, I quirked an eyebrow at her and was on my feet instantly. "Come on I have homework to do and Dad wants you to watch the Mariners game with him tonight." With that we walked back inside, missing the wolf like form disappearing down wind and back into the forest.

**I've had to repost this chapter as the formatting went wacky when it uploaded. The issues should be fixed now.**

**I've already started the next chapter, so I'll try not to make you wait too long for it, but real life is as busy as always.**

**Due to popular demand I also want to get another chapter of Friend in Need out soon, so I'll be working on that too.**

**This chapter took a lot of effort *chews fingers nails in anticipation of your response*. Please let me know what you think.**


	10. important note re M rated stories

Hey

Sorry to disappoint you, but this is not a chapter. The next chapter is currently with my Beta and hopefully will be up soon. This afternoon I will be continuing work on the next chapter of Friend in Need.

As many of you may be aware the administrators of are as of June 4th going to be taking down Fics that have lemons or have extreme violence. There are many wonderful fics that only have one or two lemons in them yet the plot itself is awesome! You can't just take down a 100,000+ word fic just because it has a lemon in a chapter that is only 1000 words long. Now I urge you all to read the petition below, sign it, and repost this to your own fics. Hopefully if we make enough noise everything will return to normal. But just in case I am in the process of copying both stories over to 'the writers coffee shop' under the pen name Cagney. I will continue to post chapters on both sites until this site pulls them.

Here is the petition:

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be loosing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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Cagney1982


	11. Chapter 10

**I'm back! I seem to be having problems uploading my stories to TWCS, but I'll keep trying. I'm also going to load them to twilighted dot net under the pen name Cagney1982 (same as here) I've already set up the account.**

**Thank you to all of my wonderful readers and everyone whose favourited. I dedicate this chapter to five of my fabulous reviewers: Kittylover93, WhitlocksHevyn, mrsgravyrug, Konohashinobi07 and Cathy29jes. A big thank you to my Beta Twlightbloom for sticking by me even though she's uber busy.**

**Enough of my mini speech, on with the chapter: I think this is the turning point you've all been waiting for!**

**Disclaimed: SM owns twilight, I just wanted to play with her sparkly toys :)**

The cool breeze gusted through the forest as I ran alongside Sam, following the now familiar if unknown scent of the intruder. My dead heart felt like it was palpitating as I realized the trail was getting closer to the Swan's house. Sam alerted the pack, as I took oﬀ running at my fastest pace. Overcome with fear that I hadn't kept my promise to protect Bella, I pushed deeper into the ground gaining as much momentum as physically possible.

Every ounce of my inhuman strength propelled me to my destination; the Swan house. I prayed that I wasn't too late. These last weeks and months were hard enough but losing Bella would crush me faster than any newborn could manage. She had become someone I truly cared about; our developing form of closeness had only intensiﬁed after she heard my story. I thought back to the night before, a quiet 'family' aﬀair at the Swan's.

_Charli__e __sa__t __o__n __hi__s __worn __armchai__r __watching __th__e __Mariner'__s __winning__, __and __animatedly gesturin__g __a__t__ th__e __T__V __afte__r __a __poo__r __decisio__n __b__y __th__e __umpire__. __I __ha__d __sa__t __on th__e __couch__, __pretendin__g __to __watc__h __th__e __gam__e __with __Charli__e __an__d __sharing __hi__s __disagreement ove__r __th__e __calls an__d __commenting __on th__e __ineptitu__de __o__f __th__e __oﬃcials__.__I __wa__s __paying __enough attention __with __a __smal__l __sectio__n __o__f __m__y __min__d __to __b__e __abl__e __t__o i__nsure __Charli__e __thought __I __was payin__g __attention. __I__n __truth, __with __a __brai__n __capabl__e __of __man__y __though__t __processe__s __a__t __onc__e, __it wasn'__t __a __diﬃcult __task.__M__y __mai__n __tas__k __wa__s __watchin__g __Bell__a __besid__e __me__; __curle__d __unde__r __a smal__l __blanket__, __boo__k __i__n __hand__, __her __bac__k __agains__t __th__e __armrest__, __he__r __bod__y __angle__d __towards me__. __Slight __frow__n__ lines __marre__d __her __fac__e __a__s __sh__e __go__t __engrosse__d __in __whicheve__r__ chapte__r __of th__e __Austi__n __classi__c __sh__e __wa__s __reading__. __Sh__e __seemed __so __content__; __th__e __boo__k __oﬀerin__g__ an escape __from __the __woes __of __her __everyday __world. __She __almost __seemed __at __peace._

_I felt like I was spying, but I couldn't help but watch and wonder exactly what she was thinking. Her emotions were alternating between hope and longing as she got deeper into the literary world of Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett. Her emotions were so intense that I could almost be reading along with her._

_She must have sensed my side wards glance, as she looked up from the pages and smiled knowingly. She snuggled deeper into the sofa as she ﬂicked another page. The faint smell of fusty worn paper momentarily ﬁlled the air._

_Even though we weren't touching, I could feel the heat from her sock clad feet through the ﬂimsy blanket. The warmth pulled at me like a homing beacon. I froze at my wayward thought. Bella sensing my discomfort raised an eyebrow at me, the concern in her eyes was overwhelming. I purposefully relaxed and shrugged so she wouldn't push for more. She returned to her book, but seemed worried and less relaxed than before. I reached for her foot and gave it a quick reassuring squeeze. I felt like my skin had been burned; it wasn't unpleasant, it felt like she had become my own personal sun._

_I knew things had changed between us over recent days and weeks, but I refused to acknowledge my changing feelings for her. I didn't understand what these feelings were, or why they had come about. For an empath it was unnerving; I read emotions as easily as children's books. I wasn't ready to deal with the potential consequences of my shifting feelings, at least not yet. I was suddenly overcome with a sense of guilt. I couldn't deal with this yet, not here, I needed to be alone._

_I turned my concentration back to the TV and fed from Charlie's emotions, desperately trying to block my inner chaos. My calm exterior did nothing to control the inner emotional demons that were shaking free from their chains. Bella must have sensed something was wrong, but knew now was not the time to discuss it. I felt her own warring emotions as she tried to decide how best to help me. Unfortunately, the only person who could help me was me._

_Bella feigned tiredness and soon headed to bed. She kissed her father's cheek bidding him goodnight, then turned to me expectantly. I awkwardly hugged her goodnight, as I quickly whispered "I'll be patrolling with Sam. You want me to come back later?" I longed for the calm my nightly ritual of watching her sleep provided and the calm emotions that ﬂuttered around me as she resided in her unconscious thoughts._

_Her whispered "yes" told me we would be talking later; she had obviously sensed my subtle distress. "Goodnight Jasper." She smiled and I felt her throwing her acceptance at me, she wanted me to come back later. I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door, turning to thank Charlie for a pleasant evening._

_Charlie frowned, "You're not watching the rest of the game?" I felt his disappointment._

_How could I answer him, I didn't want to leave but felt obliged to, I also needed some time to think before patrols started at midnight. "I just thought."_

"_Sit." His tone was authoritive but friendly. _

"_You can't leave during the last inning!" I sat back in my spot, breathing in Bella's lingering scent as I watched the remainder of the game._

I was pulled from my memories as I made it to the edge of the forest, stopping as the trail ended. I could feel Bella and Charlie's relaxed emotions as they slept. My muscles began to relax slightly, one taut sinew at a time. They were safe, if only for now. I would spend twenty four hours a day on high alert protecting them if needed.

I checked my phone. I had felt it vibrate but was too involved in yet another mini drama to check it. I knew who it would be, but this time Alice's timing had been too close for comfort. I didn't respond, knowing that Alice would see I was concentrating on the potential threat.

Sam joined me minutes later in his human form. "Jerad and Paul are circling the perimeter of the forest. They'll keep us updated." I could feel the familiar tension that had been between us the last few days. I was not sure what had changed, but Sam's emotions demonstrated he wanted to move away from me. Instead he turned to face me. Whatever his problem was did not seem as important as dealing with the nomad threat. I had felt this type of emotion before in my own ranks in the Southern Wars, the day Nette and Lucy had turned on Maria. I would stay on alert just in case.

Sam stood tall demonstrating his authority. "We need to move them to the reservation. Whoever this is knows of the treaty line. So far they haven't crossed it." Sam was right, this unknown was unaware of our amended pact, and the temporary removal of the treaty lines, but I wouldn't force Bella to do anything. She would need to leave but I would give her a choice of where she wanted to go.

Sam's already somewhat volatile and un-yielding emotions would make this conversation diﬃcult. I needed to stay focused on both our surroundings and this discussion; luckily I was capable of both. Although we had become friends, I had recently sensed a feeling of anger from Sam in my presence. Whatever his problem was would have to wait, we couldn't aﬀord to have cracks in our defenses. I didn't want to antagonize him but I felt this conversation would test the depth of our comradeship.

"How would you get Charlie there? He is still unaware of the supernatural world." I started with the easier questions ﬁrst; hoping to keep this as diplomatic as possible.

"It's coming up to the anniversary of Billy's wife's death. We can ask Billy to take Charlie ﬁshing for a few days, on the pretense that he doesn't want to be at home. Jake can go too. It will keep him out of trouble." It seemed a plausible if slightly underworked excuse at the moment, but there was time to ﬂesh it out. This was one point where I would trust Sam's judgment.

"And Bella? Do you expect her to come willingly?" I smiled internally remembering how stubborn she could be. She was independent and hated being told what to do. I could almost imagine the scowl and fury as a result of that conversation.

"We'll have a bonﬁre at the beach. We'll all be there including you. We can camp in tents and ensure that Bella's is situated in the middle with Leah. We'll make a weekend of it." Sam's tone implied that he would not be budged from his plan.

"I will not lie to Bella. She goes because she knows she'll be safe. I won't allow you to drag her there against her will." I had rarely had the need to stand up to Sam and our once tentative friendship had developed into a partnership. However, this was one point I was willing to risk losing the familiarity for. If we went back to being just two men with the same goal then I'd take responsibility for my actions. I had made Bella a promise that I refused to break. "She needs to know about the pack, the true threat of the situation. If she knows her father is in danger she'll do the right thing."

Sam's face hardened. "No. You will not tell her about the pack. We will keep her safe and the Reservation is the safest place for her." There was a ﬁnality to his tone; he would not negotiate. His tone was terse as he continued. "It's in her best interest. We'll ﬁnd a way to get her there." He didn't know me very well if he believed I would follow his edict as unquestioningly as his pack.

"It may be in her best interests, but she will come of her own accord with full knowledge and understanding of the situation; I will not put up with her grumbling for the length of time it takes to get her home, and trust me she can grumble when she's annoyed." Sam's shocked expression made me realize that he had no idea how close I had become to Bella since my return. In a relatively short time, I had become one of the few people that really knew her, I needed to take care of her. She had been so emotionally battered since my family left that I needed to make sure that at all times, she was aware of what was going on. I had given her complete honesty in all but the situation with the wolves. It wasn't my story. But it was one she needed to be aware of, and soon.

Sam's stance remained ﬁrm, but his emotions were softening slightly at the mention of Bella's potentially negative reaction. He had been around her a few times on the reservation, and also at the house when collecting Emily from her visits. "Fine, but she comes to the reservation."

"No. We will give her the option. I'll explain how dangerous things have gotten and give her a choice. The only thing I won't do is allow her to be unprotected." I took an unneeded breathe to calm my steadily spiraling anger. He may be a leader and used to his own way, but I was century's older and had seen things he couldn't even imagine. "If she chooses to stay in Forks, would the pack continue to protect her?" I needed his conﬁrma0on before formulating a multi layered plan of my own.

"If she stays in Forks?" I could see him shaking desperately trying not to phase. I heard the crack of a twig about half a mile away. I turned at lightning speed, the intense wet dog smell assaulted my nostrils as I noticed Paul crossing the perimeter of the forest on his patrol. I was thankful for my acute senses. I had been monitoring the house and Bella and Charlie's emotions since I arrived. Nothing else seemed out of place.

"Yes I will give her the option of where she wants to go, where she'll feel safest. I have many people and places that are capable of protecting her." I remembered back to the conversation a few nights before.

_Bella __in her __bed, __her __brown __waves __cascading __over __the __edge __of her __pillow __as __she __laid at __the very __edge __of __the bed __closest __to __me, __as I __rocked __in __the chair __I'd moved __next __to her divan. __We __had __been __discussing __the __threat __of __the __Volturi __in __greater __detail. It __was the __night __I __ﬁnally __felt __her __acceptance __and __understanding that __she __would __need __to leave __Forks __to __keep __her __father __and __friends __safe._

_She was still waiting to decide whether she wanted an eternity or the human life that was now possible for her as a result of Edward's decision to sacrifice their love and their future by his departure. Yet she knew by choosing to remain human she was risking her own and the life of myself and my entire family. It was the night she promised to tell me when she had made a decision about where and when she wanted to go. My heart swelled with respect for this woman. Bella had truly been growing into herself since Edward and my family left her. I also felt pride for myself. I had been the one to help support her on her journey and catch her before she fell, and with her natural clumsiness those were the times she needed me most._

"Bella will make the right choice for her; she knows what's at stake." After discussing my past she had ﬁnally come to terms with the depth of the pitfalls of being around vampires. I believed she would think things through before making the decision, but I may need to give her the facts, as her actions although protecting others often put herself in danger; Phoenix being the most memorable situation.

"You have a lot of faith in her Jasper." Sam's anger had mellowed slightly, but he remained wary. He knew I would not be triﬂed with. If need be I would use my gift to dissolve the tension, however that would be a last resort. Sam trusted me and I wouldn't breach that trust unless absolutely necessary.

"She's earned it." I was shocked by the sincerity of my words. Bella had earned it. She had stuck by me even with the knowledge of my past, remaining comfortable in my presence. I remembered her the night of the baseball game at Charlie's house, curled under the little blanket, reading her book. Inside I was smiling at my realization, but externally I remained calm and collected concentrating on this tense and awkward conversation.

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" I felt his disgust and a large dollop of anger. I was neither intimidated or impressed by his insinuation, his emotions giving him away.

"Do you want to expand on that Sam? I suggest you word your response very carefully." I was heading into predator mode. I had a ﬁrm grasp on both our emotions. I had to keep this semi-civil for Bella's sake, but I would not have my actions questioned, especially by someone with no knowledge of my experiences of life and love, both oﬀ and on the battleﬁeld.

"You've been getting very close to her Jasper. That may not be in her best interest." Yes I had slipped in the past, but I would not intentionally harm her. I was stronger and had more control now than any other time in my existence.

"Her's or yours?" I challenged; I wanted to get to the heart of the matter quickly. I was led by emotions and Sam's disgust was rapidly fuelling my ire. We needed to either resolve this discussion or call a stalemate fast.

"Both. You are a vampire. She is your natural food source. You are a danger to her." Anger bubbled as my eyes darkened. I could feel my pupils dilate. I took a moment to collect myself, knowing the hold on my temper was unraveling quickly. I needed space and fast before the treaty was breached beyond any hope of future repair.

My reply was clipped. "I'm perfectly in control, and I don't need to answer to you. I suggest you leave and patrol elsewhere. I'll stay here till dawn." I felt Sam's understanding of my need to calm down, acknowledging that we wouldn't get any further in this discussion tonight. I had a feeling that our relationship may be frayed for a while.

I sat listening to Bella's breathing and heart beat allowing them to calm me down. Even through my discussion with Sam. I had been alert of our surroundings; acutely aware of Charlie's even breathing and the strong, steady thumping of Bella's heart. Although my conversation with Sam had been strained he had acknowledged something that I had been trying my hardest to ignore. I was becoming increasingly attached to Bella, and tonight the thought of losing her had chipped a signiﬁcant piece of the armor around my heart.

I knew without a doubt that my feelings for Bella were no longer platonic.

Guilt washed over me in ﬂoods as I sat in silence, listening to the small sounds around the property. Digesting the strange conversation Sam and I had just had. I knew something in me had changed. Was it Alice letting me go? As an empath I could be ruled by my emotions. A profound change in those could trigger the same change we had seen in Edward.

Was the change Bella? It couldn't be. Alice hadn't seen us together like that. However, that thought was not unappealing. Bella was beautiful, warm, caring, so accepting of me and my lifestyle, but she was human. My pre-Cullen past dictated that humans were just food, but Carlisle had taught me a diﬀerent way. Could I betray my brother? My family? Alice? Strangely a small prick of regret ﬁlled me. A small part of me knew a woman such as Bella could make me very happy, but how many others would be hurt by my actions if I chose that path.

I pulled myself from that line of thought. It was absurd. Me and Bella? That couldn't happen, Alice hadn't seen us together, yet she had seen me with another. There was no one else in Forks that I knew or cared to get to know apart from Bella. She was the only one who knew what I was. Then again I remembered Alice's words to Edward the day of the car crash at school that changed all our lives forever – her visions had been unclear, Edward was with someone in the meadow and she wasn't sure who, the image was fuzzy as a decision hadn't been made. Could this really be the course of action I was going to take? Was I destined to love Bella? Could she ever love me in return?

I knew Bella had a hold over me and I was truly scared for the first time in years. I wasn't sure I wanted this future, I had been happy with my past, with Alice. Now that was gone I wasn't sure if I was ready to move on. But knowing it was a possibility would make me question everything that would or could happen between us.

Could I tell Bella any of what I'd learned? Would she be accepting, or push me away? There was one thing I knew for sure. I couldn't tell her, at least not yet. I wasn't ready for anything to happen between us, and she was too raw to contemplate it at any rate. Would we ever be ready? A small part deep inside of me twinged in longing, I hoped so. We had become firm friends, could I risk losing that?

I knew I was strong, but I could not guarantee her safety if she bled in my vicinity. There was only one way me and Bella could be together – if she wasn't human and edible. Perhaps the threat of the Vulturi would work in my favor. Sometimes things feel destined, would Bella be my happily ever after? I needed to see her to put these crazy thoughts to rest.

I walked at a human pace across the yard. Bella's heartbeat pulling me closer with each thump. I needed to see her, see if my heart was as lost as I felt. I gulped nervously a human trait I retained, even after all these years. I knew deep down I could love her unconditionally and she would accept me.

The guilt suﬀocated me as I thought of Alice and some of her ﬁnal words to me before I left my wife and the family home, "don't feel guilty for anything you want or need to do." I needed to see if this was the path I was supposed to take, but could I walk the tightrope, where my brother had failed?

**Finally, the moment you've all been waiting for - Jasper gets his wake up call. Let me know what you think.**** I cant wait to read your reactions x**


	12. Chapter 11

**Hi sorry for the lack of updates. A very close family member became very sick and passed away, it's been very tough on me and my family. I've lacked the time and the motivation to write for the last couple of months. Things have started to settle down so I should be back to regular updates again. I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter or emailed me and offered their support when they knew what was happening. Your support has been amazing and really helped me get myself back together. So after an ultra-long wait here is the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I just get to play with her ideas. **

The Swan's home drew me closer like a beacon. As I approached, the sound of their subtle but steady heartbeats began to calm my taut nerves. I was on edge. How could one girl, one human girl, become so important to my existence? It irritated me that through her fragility she could become my one weakness. I knew if anything happened to her I would be crushed.

I caught sight of her hair spread across her pillow as I entered through her bedroom window. Her face was peaceful as she slept, proof that she was totally unaware of the troubles that had been surrounding her only minutes ago. Her innocence caught me oﬀ guard. She was so beautiful. All the thoughts of my inner struggle were forgotten as I focused on her face, searching for answers I knew I wouldn't ﬁnd at least not yet, or on the silky skin of the ever in mortal danger: Bella Swan.

I smiled as I realized she had moved the rocking chair next to the bed in preparation for my visit. It warmed me to know she wanted me close. As I stood there watching her sleep, I couldn't help but ask myself if there could be a future for us? I needed to touch her, needed to feel the reassurance of her warmth, and I needed to assure myself that I wasn't dreaming all of this. I sat in the chair, studying Bella's face and emotions as she slept.

I felt a spark of recognition, I had felt the shift in my emotions as it happened, the ﬁnal coordinate had been set and the axis of my universe shifted and centered around one being – Bella. I had fought the pull and the changes inside me up until now, but I could no longer stop the inevitable: I would be whatever she needed me to be, but I'd never be able to leave her. All I could think was 'I'm so screwed'.

I remembered Edward coming home after watching Bella sleep a few weeks after she started at Forks High; he'd told me about the shift and the ways that it aﬀected him, how it changed him. I'd felt the change in his emotions; the defeat, the love, the hope. But I never imagined that this one human girl causing the shift in his emotions, would ever be something I would have in common with my brother; that this could happen is incredible and something out of fantasy. Yet, here I am, dealing with the same situation Edward did. It was almost unbelievable.

I had heard of imprinting from the wolves. Perhaps vampires had their own version. We are set in our ways and a shift in perspective could alter us irreversibly. If that shift was a form of love, how much damage could it do to us if the feelings were not reciprocated? I hoped I would never ﬁnd the answer to that question.

I knew Bella was not ready for a relationship, let alone a relationship with me, but I hoped that would change with time, even with all the baggage of my family, my past and my gift. Time was the one thing I had in Eons. The rest I couldn't and wouldn't change even for Bella.

This seemed crazy but I couldn't deny it, there was some strange connection to Bella that I knew I'd never be able to shake. We had grown close as friends, but this was deeper, for the ﬁrst time ever I truly needed someone and I was willing to lower my defenses and allow them in.

All of my doubts about how a future with Bella would hurt everyone I cared about seemed relatively insigniﬁcant to the future I could have with her, if only she'd let me. We complimented each other, even as friends we were equals. Everything about us was comfortable; our conversations, our silences and even our moods seemed to compliment each other from our low points to our high points and our temperaments. Even our arguments never riled me too much. Bella was a passionate person, and took her responsibility to those she loved very seriously. I admired her strength.

Bella began to stir, her arms slowly rising above her head on her pillow as she stretched. Her sleepy eyes half lidded peered in my direction. "Hey." She rolled to her side, hands supporting the pillow cradling her cheek.

"Hi" She looked so peaceful and calm, something that was a rarity even after the weeks that had passed since Edward and my family left her. I hated to spoil it, but I knew we needed to talk about the unknown vampire situation, and where Bella wanted to go, but I couldn't ruin her mood, not this late at night. She deserved a bit of peace.

Her eyes drifted shut, a small smile stayed settled on her lips as she drifted back into her dreams. I took a book from the nightstand, War and Peace; a gag gift from Bella a few days before. I didn't want to accept it, I didn't want her wasting her hard earned cash from her part-time job at the Newton's store and her meager college fund on me.

I had plenty of money and it felt wrong for me to let her spend her cash on me. She'd scowled and demanded I take it. Saying the book should keep me occupied for a few nights while she slept. I had mellowed at that, she had bought it with good intentions. I also think it was a ploy to stop me watching her sleep, something that wasn't going to happen.

So for the next two hours I sat back in the rocking chair and read while listening to her steady breathing, but remaining alert in case anyone should venture too close to the house.

I heard Charlie get up at 5am and head into work. I needed to talk to Bella before she went to school and I had a feeling that given Bella's stubbornness, this wouldn't be a ﬁve minute conversation. Wherever she decided to stay I knew we'd need at least a few days to get her settled in before Emmett returned.

I lightly touched her shoulder, rocking her gently. "Bella." I could have used my gift, but I didn't want to manipulate her, she needed to wake up and deal with this her own way. "Bella darlin', wake up." She slowly stirred. She was not a morning person but at least she wasn't grumpy ﬁrst thing like her father.

Her eyes still closed, "'m what time is it?" I smirked at her groggy reply.

"Early. Come on I need you coherent."

"Coffee."

"Ok I'll get you some while you return to the land of the living." Her giggle caught me oﬀ guard. Ok that wasn't my best choice of words but at least I got a reaction. I padded down the stairs at a human pace and returned a few minutes later with caﬀeine. A few sips later and Bella was semi-lucid.

A half grumbled, "What do you need to talk to me about that couldn't wait 'til a normal hour?" made me feel a little apprehensive. This wasn't going to be easy, it seemed a lot of our conversations regarding the situations we found ourselves in started this way, and we often liked to push each other's boundaries a little, arguing with Bella could sometimes be fun, but I'd never admit that to her.

Ok how do I broach this carefully without her biting my head oﬀ? "Something's happened and I think you and your father may be in danger." She clutched the coﬀee cup like a lifeline. I knew this was more for the thought of her father's danger than her own.

"There's a scent I don't recognize around here. I can get close to them, but they always seem one step ahead. Whoever it is was keeping to the border between La Push and Forks, but last night they came here." I wouldn't sugar coat anything, she had dealt with worse scenarios and she deserved the truth.

Her emotions were blank, but a half whispered "Vampire?" let me know she understood the depth of the potential threat.

"Yes." I stated conﬁdently, while staring straight into her eyes. I wouldn't let her look away, I could judge her emotions, but I needed to read her reactions as her friend.

"You think they are after me?"

"Possibly, but it could be curiosity. My scent is in this house, it's unusual for us to spend so much time around humans."

"Curiosity started the Phoenix 'adventure'. How do we protect Charlie?"

"We need to get you and Charlie to a safe place." I emphasised the 'You' so Bella would know she was going to be kept safe too, whether she wanted it or not. This was one thing I wouldn't back down on. I had made a promise to my family and Bella, and I wouldn't break it. "Bella I know you are not going to like this, but please hear me out before you start ranting ok?"

Her scowl and sudden spike of indignant anger forced me to withhold my smile, "I don't rant."

"Oh yes you do, and you're stubborn. So please let me ﬁnish before you make a decision ok?" I kept my tone ﬁrm, she needed to know I meant business.

"You're going to give me a choice?" Her voice sounded astounded, I was a rather hurt by her insinuation, but I would control it for now. We had important issues to discuss.

"Haven't I always?" I was oﬀended that she thought I would force her into anything. I knew the sadness in my voice was betraying my need to remain focused, but I wouldn't hide my emotions from her, well except for my feelings for her.

"I didn't mean…" She trailed oﬀ, a contrite look on her face.

I nodded letting her know I understood, "The easiest way to protect Charlie is to separate you. If they are after you, Charlie could get caught in the cross ﬁre and you could both get hurt. I can only keep one of you safe."

"Ok, so where am I going if you're looking after dad?" I knew she was testing me, and trying to put her foot down. It was cute in a kitten pretending to be a panther kind of way, but her father would be safe without me.

"Bella, I'll be looking after you." Her ire spiked again as she went to open her mouth, I put my hand up to stop her and ﬂashed her a scowl of my own, temporarily silencing her. "Your father is going to La Push on a ﬁshing trip with Billy. Vampires don't go there so he'll be safe, the Quileutes have a way of keeping vampires oﬀ their land."

"That makes no sense." Her brow furrowed in concentration, as if working out a major equation.

"I know and I'll tell you what I can, but that's something for the Quileutes to tell you. I promised to keep their secret."

"So there is something diﬀerent about them?" Always so inquisitive, that was usually how she found herself in so much trouble, that and circumstance.

"Bella!" I stared at her sternly. Would we ever be able to ﬁnish this conversation before school started? "I need to get you away from this house. This unknown, knows you're here. But where do you want to go? Wherever it is you can talk to your father on the phone and keep in contact daily. It could only be for a few days." I hoped that with them gone this unknown would leave the area, but since when was anything that easy?

"What are the choices?" She seemed rather indiﬀerent to the situation, but a slight current of fear let me know she understood the severity of the situation.

"Anywhere. I can keep you in Forks, or we could go back to the family." Her ﬂinch let me know that wasn't an option. "Peter and Charlotte's place in Texas, your mother's. It would help to be somewhere sunny or somewhere with support."

"I'd like to stay here, but what support do you have here?" I knew she was worried about me, and it warmed me to now she cared about my safety too.

I didn't want to answer her question, but I did expect it. "I've made a promise and I've always been a man of honour. I do have support here I just can't tell you what, and Emmett and Rosalie will be back soon."

"More vampires?" She tensed. I knew she thought Edward might be involved.

"No, but just as useful." I stopped, allowing her to process that. I was dropping breadcrumbs allowing her to work things out on her own. She would eventually put two and two together, she was always a smart one.

"This has something to do with the Quileutes, doesn't it?" I scowled again, hoping to convey I couldn't speak about it. "You'd tell me if you could?"

"Absolutely." Not that I thought it would take too long for her to ﬁgure things out, especially if she was around when one of them phased. With the unknown's presence the possibility of her witnessing that had increased.

"Ok." I could tell she wasn't happy with this, but it was all I could give her at the moment. I didn't want to withhold things from her, but I had to try and salvage any relationship I could with the Wolves; lives were at stake. I was treading a ﬁne line between her trust and my obligations.

Bella must have sensed my discomfort and decided to switch the conversation slightly, I liked that she understood me; she was good at reading me. "When do we go to Casa Cullen?"

"You want to go there? I thought a hotel or something." This turn of events wouldn't help my current frame of mind. Being alone with her was something I wanted, but it frightened me that I could grow closer to her without her reciprocating my feelings, especially in a house I had shared with my ex-wife. This was going to be awkward.

"I want to be close to Charlie, and your family said they could hear as people approached the house." I could feel her determination; she wouldn't leave her friends and family, as she saw it, unprotected. She wanted me close to protect them. My pride swelled knowing that she had so much faith in me.

"Ok Casa Cullen it is." I couldn't withhold my smile at the realization that she trusted me with her friends and family as well as her own safety. Even after hearing my story she still trusted me, I was awestruck and very thankful for it.

I sensed slight hesitation and a very faint trickle of excitement from her, knowing she'd got her own way and I wasn't going to argue with her. No, we were in agreement; we needed to get everything in place as soon as possible. "Your dad will be going to La Push tonight, he'll get a call from Billy later. Have your stuﬀ ready. As soon as he goes I'll collect you."

She looked straight into my eyes, as if looking through me, looking for something, but I wasn't sure what, "We're not going to tell him I'll be staying with you?" I could sense her disappointment. She knew Charlie and I were close, and keeping this a secret could cause irreversible damage to that relationship if we were found out. Then it clicked, she thought I was ashamed of her. Would she ever get over her worthless feelings?

"Bella no father in their right mind would allow their only teenage daughter to spend a few days and nights with a 20 year old hormonal male, especially in an empty house." Her instantaneous blush made me chuckle. I didn't mean to embarrass her, but she needed to see that nothing about this situation would be easy. I felt a slight prick of regret knowing she had to keep telling lies to protect the ones she loved; ﬁrst for my family, now for her father's protection.

"Oh right." She sounded a little defeated. Our conversation had been toing and froing between a lot of important issues, but her emotions this morning were beginning to give me whiplash.

"But if things aren't sorted in a few days then we might have to come clean about where you're staying. Ok?"

"Ok." She relaxed back into her pillows, ﬁdgeting slightly to get comfortable. Her emotions were all over the place. She'd had a lot to deal with over recent weeks and the shit storm just kept coming.

We still had a lot to deal with; this unknown vampire, the families return, Victoria (although Peter's silence led me to believe that he was very comfortable dealing with that), even Jessica and Lauren hadn't let up on teasing Bella about my return to Forks, and lastly, my own situation around my developing feelings for Bella. I needed to lighten the mood before I turned into a replica of brooding Edward. I was a doer not an over-thinker.

"Come on time to get up. You've got school." She pulled the duvet over her head, refusing to budge. Her emotions still a spiral of everything she had digested and the things that were still eating away at her mind.

"A few more minutes please it's early." I yanked the covers from her and she squealed. Her scowl a contradiction to the slight smile that played on her lips.

"Go on, you go shower. I'll make you breakfast."

**Quite intense, let me know what you think. there are so many directions I could take this in. I know where its going, any guesses?**


	13. Chapter 12

**The long wait is over and my Beta apologies for the delay. Real Life interferes with this fic a lot, but the wait is worth it I promise. On the plus side I've written most of the next chapter. Big thank you to all my readers, reviewers and PMers begging for the update. **

**Twilight belongs to SM, I just like to play with her toys.**

I spent the day preparing the house for Bella's stay. Without patrols I needed to keep my body and mind busy. It was unnerving to know I would be spending so much time in a house I had tried to avoid since my return. The memories that assaulted me within these walls were not welcome. I loved my time with my family and Alice, but I missed them dearly. Their absence always felt fresh in this vast expanse of modern fixtures and decoration.

I felt with the family returning, Bella would probably feel more comfortable staying in Carlisle's study. I would feel awkward with her staying in any other room, each room conjuring up memories I didn't have time to deal with. Plus I wasn't sure how she would feel being in Edward's or my room. Part of me wished I had time to ask her. I didn't have the time to waste waiting for her to reply to my text in between her classes.

By midday, Carlisle's study had been transformed. The room was large enough not to disturb its original purpose, yet leaving enough room for a double bed, dresser and bedside tables with delicate Tiffany lamps that Esme had boxed up and put in the loft space. The walls remained their pale blue, the woodwork a delicate off-white. The dark mahogany furniture offered a pleasant contrast to the lightness of the room. Carlisle's books remained in place along the vast shelves. One empty bookcase was removed to accommodate the new furniture. The absence of books from those particular shelves showing the importance those flimsy pages held for my father, as they had accompanied him on his journey from Forks.

I knew that with Bella only intending to stay for a few days she would be annoyed if I made too much effort. Those overblown gestures where a trait of Alice and Esme, but Bella preferred the simpler things in life. I knew from experience Bella was much happier receiving a new cookbook than a piece of jewelry or equally impractical bauble.

I remembered her birthday well, and the presents each member of the family had given her. She had been more excited about the CD of her lullaby that Edward made her, than anything else she'd received. She liked people to make an effort, show real thought in what they did. I admired her for her practical and un-fussy view of the world, a trait she seemed to get from her father.

Being around Bella and Charlie so much, I had reacquainted myself with the rhythms and regularity of human needs. After plugging the refrigerator and freezer into the wall, I grabbed my keys and headed to the grocery store. I hadn't been to one of these in my life, human or otherwise; they hadn't existed during my days as a mortal and I'd had no need for them as an immortal. This would be a learning curve, and if I ever wanted to have a life with Bella at some point in the future, it was something I would have to get accustomed too to.

I knew I wasn't ready to start a life with Bella in the traditional man-woman sense, but I knew now more than ever that I couldn't live without her around me. She made each day more bearable and offered a new point of view to many of my more traditional opinions. Even when sharing my story with her I had been almost shocked by her perspective. She had every right to feel disgust, but she still understood me and had no qualms about standing up to me. She had a strength like no one I had ever met.

Even Rosalie who was the toughest in the family to impress, had begun to respect Bella's emotional growth over the last few weeks. Two people I never thought could get along seemed to be making an effort with phone calls and the occasional text. Rose wouldn't explain this change in her demeanor, stating that it was for Bella to hear first.

While allowing my mind to wander to thoughts of Bella and my family, I grabbed a grocery cart and decided to tackle this methodically, one row at a time. I was mesmerized by the sheer variety of produce to choose from. My diet was fairly limited on the animal front, preferring the large carnivores to the less juicy herbivores, but here in the fresh produce aisle I realized the true extent of Bella's dietary choices. I should have spoken to her before tackling this challenge and asking her to make a list, or asking her to join me. Somehow that felt very "homey" and warmed my ever defrosting heart.

I loaded up the cart with peppers, onions, fruit and various other vegetables I had seen Bella cooking with: remembering clearly the ingredients for her favorites: fajitas and lasagna. It felt strangely comforting and yet still unnerving to be taking such a large role in catering for Bella's human needs. I spent nearly an hour traipsing down the various aisles collecting everything from her strawberry smelling shampoo and a new toothbrush, to soda and chips. There seemed a lot of food here for one human, but I had to keep up pretenses too. It wouldn't do my facade of being a human any harm if I was seen by any of the Forks residents in a mini mart.

The experience wasn't half as dull as I imagined it would be. I found as I walked down each aisle that I had been paying more attention to Bella's needs than I realized. I knew exactly which brand of toothpaste she used; after sitting on the side of the bath as she brushed her teeth the other morning, discussing her latest phone calls with Esme, Emmett, and surprisingly Rosalie. I could list the brand and flavor of cereal bars she grabbed as she ran out of the house each morning on the way to school, unless of course I'd made her breakfast. I thought back to this morning, and the easiness of the morning routine. Even after our tough discussion of her and her father's safety. Reflecting back on our talk brought up feelings that created a subtle tug on my heartstrings knowing that she was in class and I was here, attempting to provider for her needs and wants. Next time I'd have to bring her with me. I could push the cart and observe as she filled it with whatever she wanted. She made me feel almost human.

Something she was making me feel more and more in our time together.

I approached the cashier with my cart and noticed the heavy amount of lust and fear she was emitting in my direction. After all these years it still felt strange for women to be so attracted to me, but I was glad that their natural survival instinct kept most of them away. Jessica Stanley had been the only one to try anything more in the time I had been in Forks. She had tried to touch me and I had dosed her in confusion and lethargy in order to make an escape without drawing too much attention to us in the hallway, her embarrassment at her incoherent speech and airheadedness had kept her from attempting a repeat performance.

Edward hadn't been so lucky, she had followed him like a lost sheep until she finally gave up and started pursuing Mike Newton. Though I doubted that idiot would know what to do with her; teenage hormones running rampant. I much preferred being the man I had become with some measure of control over myself. I didn't need to throw myself at a woman like a dog in heat. I actually found that approach disrespectful and annoying. I liked to woo a woman; get to know her, be comfortable around each other then let nature take its course. I may be passionate by nature, but still a gentleman.

Whenever I gave myself over to my animalistic instincts it was intense. Alice and I had enjoyed a very intense physical relationship, something that I was missing, but nothing I couldn't control. I wondered if I could ever have that kind of relationship with Bella; Edward had always found it impossible to contemplate while she was still human, his human morals not allowing him to compromise her before marriage. Like all of us, he was a creature of the time into which he entered this life and in Edward's case that meant a time with very specific notions of sexuality and propriety. We were a passionate species and denying your true needs left you unstable. Somehow Edward had managed to control himself impeccably but at a great price to himself, to Bella and their relationship.

If Bella were to ask me to push the boundaries that Edward denied I'm not sure I could resist. She was beautiful and caring, she deserved to be loved completely. I walked up to the checkout and realized that I had been having very inappropriate thoughts about a woman that was about to stay in my house for a few days. We are all entitled to fantasies but this was going to be awkward for me. I wasn't sure how I'd handle the closeness of being around her 24/7 without letting her know exactly how my feelings for her had changed. Could this finally be the thing that would kill me? Not the thousands of newborns that had attempted it, but a single brunette with deep and trusting brown eyes that pulled me in and irrationally almost made me want to beg for more? I couldn't control these thoughts, even though I knew neither of us was ready.

If she showed any interest with her emotions, would I be able to mask my manly needs behind the facade of the Southern Gentleman I knew myself to be, or would I cave and attempt to kiss her, knowing the passion that I already held for her was bubbling under the surface I wasn't sure which side would win, Gentleman or not, with Bella I now face the challenge of learning to balance (what I hope to be mutual) passion against the need to keep her safe.

The tightrope seemed to be getting thinner with each step I was taking. I couldn't lose her friendship but with every thought about her my need to have her near me grew. Was it love? It was too early for that, but my world had tipped upside down, and she was the only thing I couldn't bear to lose. I knew I would not try anything with Bella, we were both still healing. In some respects it seemed as though my background, my training and all of my long life experiences had been to prepare me for this challenge with this young woman; the only way to prove myself worthy of her would be to walk that tightrope while keeping her safe yet remaining true to myself and the emotions I felt for her. If and when the time came that we became more than friends, it would take more than a pack of wolves to keep us apart.

My situation with Bella was causing me more torture than 100 new borns. I was accustomed to being surrounded by others emotions, but somehow Bella was different. She had integrated herself deep into my core, becoming as necessary as the blood and venom that coursed through my veins. I had loved Alice with all my heart but somehow this pull I felt was deeper, stronger a thought that scared me.

I began passing through the items to the cashier as she scanned and bagged them. Making small talk as we both worked in sync. My brain was still in overdrive, but to the cashier I was the epitome of calm and collected. I loaded the bags into the truck and headed home before picking up Bella from her house. I felt uneasy not meeting her from school, but Sam had stood his ground. Stating they would look after her before she came to my home. Two wolves would be stationed just inside the woods surrounding the property at all times. I'm sure it was extra protection for Bella or to ensure I didn't bite her. It's amazing the lack of trust they still held for me even after all the time we had spent together.

I found this rather insulting, I was capable of protecting Bella and could smell from nearly half a mile away if there had been any intrusion and the length of time down to the second when they had last been there. I could insure she was far away before anything had a chance to attack either of us, but Bella was the priority.

For the first time in months there was food in the cupboards and it was comforting and familiar to see women's toiletries neatly arranged on the bathroom countertop. It would feel nice to have a female companion back in these walls.

I missed Esme's constant cleaning and decorating sprees, even the vile smells of human food cooking in the kitchen, which I had now become accustomed to in my time spent at the Swan's. I missed seeing Rosalie's overalls draped over the units in the garage and the way she would leave her curling tongs in my bathroom when she and Alice had been preparing for a night out.

I tried not to think of Alice and the life we had shared here, in this house. I was ready to let her go, and knew that reminiscing about the good times we had shared in this space would only make my heart ache for her. Before I closed the door on thinking about Alice though, I realized that when she returned I would have to move out of our shared rooms creating a new space as well as a new life for myself. Not that I spent much time in there. I showered and changed in Emmett and Rosalie's room, avoiding memories of my wife as much as possible. Knowing my siblings were returning soon I would have to rethink my plans.

I headed out for a quick hunt, then returned after a text from Sam saying Charlie was on route to La Push. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I wished in that moment that I could use my gift on myself. I needed the subtle calm and confidence that I was able to provide others with very little thought on my part. I had the feeling that these few days alone with Bella would affect me intensely, knowing that my feelings for her could only increase while sharing a home with her and having her be the center of my personal space. I was not sure if I was ready for this, but outside circumstances never held back for what I wanted. I had to deal with whatever crap would be sent our way, no matter how apprehensive it made me.

I could feel Bella's apprehension and fear as I pulled onto her street. I knew Bella well enough to know the fear was more likely for Charlie than herself. I could feel her emotions morph slightly as I pulled into the drive, taking me by surprise. There was a touch of excitement and relief as I stopped the car. I would not expect to feel excitement from her given the current situation. Could the excitement be because I'm here? The relief certainly was. It was an emotion I had come to associate with Bella as soon as she saw me anywhere. Knowing I hadn't abandoned her and had turned up as promised. One day I hoped to arrive and the relief would be absent, but its presence allowed me to see how well she was healing.

I was at her front door before she'd even opened it fully, giving her a smile as I picked up her bags. I then offered her my arm in a manner that would have made my momma proud. Bella's answering eye roll and calming of her emotions told me I'd helped quiet some of her fears.

"Hey Jasper." Her smile lit her whole face, but stopped at her eyes. She knew what was at stake, but from our previous conversations I knew she trusted I could protect her. Now more than ever I needed to protect her and her father, for my own sake; they had become my surrogate family and meant as much to me as the Cullen's. Bella loved Charlie dearly and I wouldn't let her suffer the loss of a parent if I could prevent it.

"Hi. Come on lets go." I loaded her minimal luggage into the back of the car as she locked the door. I hoped the next few days would be easier than I anticipated.

The scent of her strawberry shampoo and the sweet tang of her blood pumping through her veins, filled the car as the heater kicked in. A scent which once drove me to distraction with bloodlust now calmed my nerves. The slight burn in my throat barely noticeable compared to thoughts of loosing her. She stared out of the window, lost in her own thoughts as we made our way home.

I stood on the front porch and unlocked the door, bracing myself for the influx of my own emotions and Bella's. The last time Bella had been here was the night of my return. I had avoided bringing her to the house out of courtesy for her feelings, and I had tried to spend as little time here as possible, treating it more as a hotel than a home. The place felt empty and dead without anyone else to share it with. I missed my family dearly and each room acted as a reminder of times past and memories shared.

I often found myself sitting in the games room in front of the empty TV stand where Emmett would play his video games, while Rosalie would sit on the chair in the corner reading the latest car magazines. A room where Emmett always sulked after Edward beat him at a wrestling match. Emmett always believed he could outsmart Edward's gift, but had never succeeded in the last 50 years I had been watching them.

The only person who could outsmart Edward was Alice. Their gifts battling to see who would win. Each game of chess or monopoly taking seconds to finish as Edward read the possibilities that whizzed through the visions in Alice's mind. An immense battle of wills that was amusing for the whole family to watch even though they never lasted very long.

Carlisle and Esme would always sit together off to the side, intently watching their "children", content in the little bubble they called family. The bond that had formed between all of us over the decades was solid; yet, I knew the potential of my current situation could tear the family apart.

If anything were to happen between Bella and I, I knew Edward would react badly. Rose was still a grey area; while she had reacted to Edward leaving Bella and her potential demise, I knew there was a long way to go before they could be friends. With her family Rose was quite open. I knew her emotions and how deeply things really affected her. On the surface she was hard faced and bitchy, but underneath she was fragile and easily hurt. I had spoken to her a many times since my return, she seemed comfortable returning to Bella and to Forks.

Emmett missed Bella dearly and called her at least once a week. I think most of Rose's newly found acceptance of Bella was due in part to her husbands melancholy as well as her own experiences with Royce. Rose had been betrayed by the one person she believed she could trust and Royce left her to die after torturing her. If he had remained alive I would have avenged her myself. Although his social standing called him a gentleman he was anything but. While Edward had left Bella for her own well-being, Rose, perhaps better than anyone else, could understand Bella's pain from Edward's leaving her as he had.

A warm hand on my forearm pulled me from the influx of emotions I felt as I stood still routed to the doorstep. "Jasper. Are you ok?" The concern in her eyes warmed me.

Since my return I had avoided thinking much about my family, and concentrated on Bella's needs and the constant drama we found ourselves in. The influx of emotions was unnerving. "Yeah I'll be fine." I held the door open for her and waited for her to enter. As always she did something unexpected. I watched her inhale as if taking in the scents around her. I imagined her as a vampire doing the same thing. Those thoughts awakened a primal part of me I was not ready to acknowledge with Bella. Bella was not ready for another relationship, especially one on a physical level. Although I wanted to feel bad about those thoughts I was still a man and couldn't stem the thoughts being near her induced. I just had to mask them so she didn't notice.

"The house smells different. It smells kind of southwestern - like Arizona." She carried on walking. I was constantly gauging her emotions. So far she was mainly inquisitive with a little touch of nostalgia and sadness mixed in. She looked at the spot where Edwards piano used to be and her emotions morphed. I felt her longing as she wandered over to the empty spot. She was reacquainting herself with the space and I wouldn't rush her she needed time to work through this at her own pace.

I took her bags to Carlisle's study, leaving her to her own thoughts. It felt awkward, but nice to be home and I was quietly pleased knowing I would be spending more time here.

The space didn't feel empty with Bella here.

The influx of her emotions acting like a cushion to the quiet of the house. Her constant breaths and heartbeats acting like a metronome in the slightly stale air.

I decided to pull her from her downward spiralling emotions and answer her earlier question. Hoping the time between her question and my answer may confuse her enough to pull her back to the here and now. "Thanks. I used some incense that Charlotte bought me on her last visit. She said it would remind me of home."

After a temporary pause she answered, "Do you miss Texas?" Her brown eyes showed the intensity of her curiosity.

"Sometimes, but Forks is ok. With an eternity you get used to moving around so no one recognizes you." One of the curses of forever.

"Would you ever go back?" She sounded anxious, worried I might leave her. "Maybe, but just to visit. It's too sunny to go out much. Most vampires in the South are nocturnal; easier and cleaner hunting and easier to get around undetected."

"Oh." At least she fully understood the implications if I were ever to return there on a permanent basis. Something I could never do for myself, or for Carlisle. I had worked too hard to keep to this lifestyle to consciously choose to go back.

"Would you ever go back to Phoenix?" The thought of that made me edgy. "Probably not. Mom is busy with Phil's baseball and I didn't really fit in with the people there. Plus Dad needs me." A small smile played at her lips as she mentioned her father. They had grown quite close in recent weeks and it was nice to see feel the emotions they shared. Neither of them was very vocal but they cared about each other deeply.

"You seem to attract a lot of attention here." I watched her wince and immediately picked up on her disgust. "Something you're not telling me?" I raised an eyebrow at her. My mood souring as I felt the irritation roll off her, which I was sure was not directed at me.

Her answering sigh signalled her defeat. "Mike and Tyler keep pestering me for a date. The more I say no the more they try. Jessica and Lauren don't like it and are making my life a living Hell." I know it was a general expression, but the thought of Bella being made miserable tugged at my heart. Lauren had been a constant thorn in Bella's side since I returned. There was only so much I would let her get away with, as for Jessica she was a sheep, being led to slaughter. She should pick her friends more wisely.

"The rumours still floating around?" I saw her blush and knew exactly what the rumours had entailed. I remembered the first day I had picked Bella up from school after my return and Lauren subjecting everyone to the idea that Bella and I had had an affair, Edward and Alice leaving to come to terms with our deceit.

Couldn't she find a more plausible explanation? Lauren really had no imagination. Edward had read her mind many times and I knew exactly what she wanted to do to me. The thought almost made me gag.

"Same as always." Her tone turned sarcastic, "I should take it as a compliment. Two Cullen men fawning over themselves to be with me." If only she knew how true her words were.

"Perhaps one day I'll make her regret the day she ever crossed you." The plan was already forming in my head.

"Jasper! No!" What did she think I was going to do, kill her? Not my style these days, but I could definitely have a little fun making her squirm. She'd be the talking point of Forks High for months. The most satisfying form of revenge.

"Have some faith Bella. I won't hurt her. At least not physically."

She was still irritated, but now also curious, "Do I want to know?"

"I'll make sure you're there when the time comes, and if I overstep the line, you tell me to stop and I will. I promise." Her answering smile showed her faith in me, the depth of the trust that was growing between us evident in that one expression. "Come on let me show you your room." I grabbed her hand and led her to the stairs. I could feel her apprehension as she took the first step, and gave her hand a little squeeze of reassurance.

"Bella." She stayed routed. "Bella, look at me." As she turned I could see the pain in her eyes, "I would never make you stay somewhere you are uncomfortable. We can always go to a hotel or something."

"No, it's just can't I stay on the couch?" I knew what she was saying, she wasn't comfortable being in Edward's room and I was slightly insulted she would think I'd make her stay there.

"I've rearranged Carlisle's study. I thought you'd feel more comfortable there."

"Thank you!" Her eyes softened, but her apprehension and tense posture remained. Her grip never loosening on my hand.

I looked straight at her and knew exactly what we both needed, not just now but in the coming days, "We'll do this together." She nodded and we ascended the stairs still gripping each other for support.

**What will he do to Lauren? I've already written that scene and it's going to be epic. A surprise is coming up in the next chapter. Something you probably won't see coming. Any guesses?**

**In answer to a frequently asked question - Jasper is going to struggle with his feelings for a little longer, I want the smolder to become a full burn before someone cracks ;) He's on a journey of self-discovery right now, have a little more patience.**


	14. Chapter 13

**I'm so sorry this took so long. It's a very important chapter and took a lot of work. I hope it meets your expectations. It's the longest chapter yet. Some of you may love me after this, others will hate me, but it should answer a lot of questions you have.**

**Thanks to everyone for your reviews and PM's I love reading every word and using your responses to shape parts of the storyline.**

Bella was curled on one side of the couch where she had been for the last 30 minutes with no interruption to our unstable bubble of uncertainty. We had briefly debated the 'rules', Bella would stay as close to me as possible at all times. Even when she was sleeping I would be in Carlisle and Esme's room next door; able to get her away from the house within seconds if I determined it necessary. Bella had complained about being babysat, even if it was for both hers and Charlie's sake. I didn't want to explain to her father how his only daughter and the woman I felt very deeply for wouldn't be coming home to either of us, especially when I could have prevented it.

I warred with myself between what I wanted to do and what I needed to do. I wanted to stay and fight, kill this unknown invader myself, throw my senses over to my instincts and let my monster loose to protect everyone I had grown to care about and respect in this small town, but I knew that would be putting Bella back in danger. Knowing her, she would follow me. I couldn't afford to take any uncalculated risks.

I knew that Sam and the pack could handle one vampire; they may not be experienced killers, but their motivation and my training would help them succeed. They cared for Bella and Charlie, and it would hurt many members of the tribe deeply if anything happened to them. One who would be affected more than others was Jacob Black. I was aware of the special bond the two of them shared. They had grown up together, and I could feel the affection he held for her. Jacobs emotions betrayed the depth of his feelings and he had a serious crush. As much as it pains me to admit it, I would have become a little jealous if I couldn't feel Bella's romantically indifferent emotions to him.

I had previously been at the Swan house one evening when Billy had arrived to watch a game. The tension between him and I was palpable and I swiftly made my excuses and left. It wouldn't be fair for Charlie or Bella to put up with the level of animosity that would follow and if I had stayed there was a good chance Charlie would start to ask questions.

Billy held deep affection for both Bella and Charlie and knew I was working with the pack, but his upbringing and deeply routed beliefs would never allow him to trust me. I could respect that. I had lived many more years than he had, and knew how those deeply held beliefs shaped the traditions that define specific cultures such as the Quilettes.  
>With my experiences in the Southern Wars I also knew how they could destroy you.<p>

If I hadn't left Maria when I did, there was a possibility one of us would have killed the other. She had felt my uneasiness growing over the years, and at some point would have ordered my destruction before I became a threat. Her emotions had told me it was time to either leave her and her coven or kill her. She had been my closest ally besides Peter and I didn't want to end my Maker.  
>I chose to let her live.<p>

Survival was the most important thing to all of us who fought on a daily basis, but even though I knew I had to go, I still felt a sense of loyalty to Maria. I didn't want to destroy someone who had been my Maker, my lover and my mentor for decades.

I was glad Sam and I had come to an understanding, we felt loyalty to those we cared for, himself with the pack and me with the Swan's. While Sam didn't like my attitude with Bella he could appreciate that I was doing everything I could to protect her, her father and the town of Forks. Bella had made her choice of where she would stay and it was here with me. She trusted me and I would do everything in my power to ensure I never broke that trust.

As I continued the musings in my head, I looked at the clock and noticed it was almost 7pm, "Bella. It's getting late, what do you want to eat? I went shopping, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator." I felt myself bloom with pride at my success in the supermarket. Bella sat still for a moment, still pretending to read her book; she'd been on the same page for the last 30 minutes. I could feel she was worrying about Charlie, but there was little I could say to help her. We had to sit and wait, this was something she needed to work through at her own pace. She needed to understand the danger that everyone was in, but if she needed my reassurance, I would gladly give it.

Without looking up she responded to my intense stare. A faint blush covering her cheeks. "I'm not hungry, but thanks."

She should eat, but I didn't want to get in an argument about who or what knows best, but her growling stomach betrayed her alerting us both to her needs. "Please try and eat something, it would make me feel better."

"Fine." She huffed off into the kitchen like a little kitten pretending to be a tiger, knowing she'd lost the argument. I followed behind, gauging her uncharacteristically volatile mood.

She rounded on me with an intense glare that almost made me step backwards, "What? You're going to watch me eat now!"

I was getting irritated and her anger was affecting me more than I needed right now. Pushing the feeling aside, I tried to take control of myself before responding, "No. I'm worried about you. I can feel what you're feeling." She huffed and she stomped around the kitchen roughly gathering the ingredients for a sandwich. She grabbed the chopping board and the sharp knife. I flinched at the prospect of the potential disaster given her mood. I grabbed the knife, chopping board and the tomato and had them moved to the other side of the kitchen before she could blink.

"Not a good idea for you to be playing with knifes right now. One slip and you won't be the only one having a snack!" I tried to keep it lighthearted, but she knew the truth behind my words as her face momentarily paled. I was doing a lot better but even I had my limits, especially when the emotional climate was unstable. The thought of her hot, thick, sweet human blood dripping down her fingers had venom pooling in my mouth. I had to swallow. Hard.

"Fine you make it." She rounded away from me and headed back to the living room, her ire bubbling back to the surface. Her mood was giving me whiplash. I knew she liked to be proactive in protecting those she loved. She had put her life on the line in Phoenix to protect her mother and it was killing her knowing there was nothing else she could do to protect her father. She needed an outlet for her frustration and unfortunately I was in her firing line. I fixed the sandwich at a human pace, allowing her time to cool off. Her guilt was already kicking in and I knew she was feeling bad about snapping at me.

I heard her get up and come back to the kitchen door, I felt her apprehension as she stood picking at the hem of her father's oversized sweatshirt, and nibbling her lower lip in frustration.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

"It's just... I hate being away from Charlie. What if it's Victoria coming back for me? What if she kills him because of me." Her eyes held the torment of a thousand souls as I handed her the sandwich. Sitting at the counter she took a little bite and looked at me with a look of fear. I ached to go over and hold her, whisper to her that everything would be ok as long as the both of us and the pack worked together. But I couldn't. It wasn't my place to be so intimate with her in the offering of physical comfort. I had to rely on words alone

Bella needed to know Victoria wasn't the immediate threat. As an empath I was usually aware of people's motivations before they were. I had the feeling that whoever was crouching in the shadows was not here for Bella, but her association with vampires. Flicking through my memories of the battles I'd fought decades ago, the situation in Forks seemed more about territory or keeping the Volturi's law's than revenge. "She's somewhere just north of Texas."

She placed her sandwich down and stared at me accusingly, "What?"

"Peter, Charlotte and Edward are tracking her. She won't get within a hundred miles of Forks before she's taken down."

"Edward's with them too?" Shock. May be now wasn't the time for this conversation. Then again there may never be a right time. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Yes."

"Why?" Her voice remained calm but the bubble of emotions gave away her true feelings: pain, anger, hope, swirled around her as she began to question Edward's motives. Someone who told her it would be like he never existed.

"Because no matter what Edward said he still cares about you."

"Not enough." The mood swing was back full force, at least this time it was aimed in a more productive direction. All I was trying to do was protect her and her father. She still had severe Edward issues to work through.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I needed her to deal with her feelings. I needed to gauge how she still felt about Edward for my own sanity.

"He left, no matter what he says, he didn't care enough to be honest with me, he knew what he was doing." Well this was new; she was actually getting angry with Edward? Was she finally beginning to heal? "You could have left after you found me in the woods, but you stayed and you didn't even love me." _Maybe not at the time._

"He cares Bella, he just doesn't know how to show it. You were his first love." He'll never forgive himself what what he did. I'm glad I'm not around him right now, I'm sure his pity party will be in full swing for another couple of decades.

"Honestly I'm over it. I've had a lot of time to think and I can't believe I trusted him. I gave him everything and it wasn't enough." As much as her words sounded right her emotions told a different story. Almost as if by saying the words out loud she could make them come true.

"Actually it was too much. You were too much." I promised to be honest with her whether she wanted to hear it or not, and there where things about Edward she needed to understand. I had spent fifty years with him and knew him better than most.

She looked like she was going to argue so I held my hand up to her to explain, and sat opposite her grabbing her hand in mine. I needed her touch to calm me. This conversation was as difficult for me as it was for her. If there was ever any chance of us being together in the future we had to get over the black cloud that Edward had placed above our heads.

"You never once shied away from my family and you accepted all of us even though we were a danger to you. You never questioned our pasts and never made us feel anything but loved. You are human and it's still difficult to believe that you care so much about us. Emmett is just chomping at the bit to get back here." She seemed to settle a bit at the mention of Emmett. Their daily conversations had helped to tear down the wall of betrayal she had felt.

"I know, he's counting the days." Her mood was defrosting. I was glad to take her mind away from her troubles even for a moment. "He said the first thing he's going to do is take me out for food. He misses watching me eat."

"I don't think that's the real reason." I smiled at her despite the confusion my words had created. "He wants to have you all to himself. He's missed you. The whole family has." She shrugged; I knew letting the family back in was hard for her. Their abandonment had affected her trust in them. "I wanted to thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting them back in. I know you've been talking to all of them on the phone." Each of the family had told me in my own calls back home. The only two people she hadn't spoken to were Alice and Edward.

"I've had a chance to understand why they left. I know they aren't coming back together to give me time to adjust. I'm not the same person Edward left behind." She's right she isn't. She'd always been independent and strong, but she was now stronger; having come out of her first heartbreak with a few scars and although those don't heal overnight, she would be more resilient from surviving her ordeal. I knew from my experiences as an empath that the sadness and the anger would help to deal with the remaining pain.

"When Edward told me everyone was gone I broke. You all were my family and you'd abandoned me. That hurt so much more than Edward leaving. But you didn't really leave; you were back here the same day and Emmett called two days later, telling me he and the family missed me. I knew you all couldn't really leave without a goodbye." I squeezed her hand gently and rubbed my thumb over her palm. She'd finally gotten some of the pain off her chest and her emotions had started to settle down again. As we sat in silence; she finished her sandwich: I brooded over the position we found ourselves in.

I wanted Bella to have all the facts about what was happening, not just here but also in and around Texas. She was as much a part of this situation as I was. "Bella I think it's time I called Peter and asked him for an update. I want you to hear what he has to say."

She hesitated for a moment, nibbling her lip again as she came to a decision. "Ok."

"Come on." I pulled her into the living room and we sat on the sofa side by side. I wanted to put an arm around her knowing this conversation may raise a few demons for her. My feelings for Bella were growing and I consciously had to keep things on a platonic level. After everything we'd been through over the past few weeks, whether the time was right or not, I wanted more. I distracted myself by hitting speed dial two. Peter answering on the first ring.

"Major. I'm glad you called."

Oh this can't be good.

"Victoria is on the move. She's heading through New Mexico. We think she's tracking back to Arizona. Edward said Bella's mother, Renee I believe? Is in Florida. We need to send Reneesome protection as a precaution." As Peter spoke, I could feel Bella's hand reach out to grab mine, her fear penetrating the room.

"I'll speak to Carlisle and see what we can arrange." I looked at Bella and squeezed her hand, trying to let her know I'd deal with it. I would make sure her mother was protected. The web was getting wider and more people were in danger than we originally thought. "Peter I need you to make sure she keeps as far away from Florida as possible. It could take a few days to get everything in place."

"Noted. Is Bella with you? I can hear her heart beat." I couldn't miss the excitement in his voice. He knew she was special to me from our previous conversations.

"Yes she's here. I have you on speaker phone." I heard the struggle in the background, praying that what I thought was about to happen was a figure of my imagination. Peter's cool but calculated tone provided salt to the wound. "If you try and take this phone again I'll tear your arms off and beat you with them." I knew Peter didn't make idle threats. He mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear, "He was supposed to be hunting." I pulled Bella into my side knowing this conversation was about to get uncomfortable. Bella looked at me in confusion and then realisation dawned on her in a rush and she started shaking.

Everything went quiet, even to my enhanced hearing. My anger was only quelled by Bella's emotional turmoil which reminded me to stay in control. After a brief silence, Peter said the words that flamed what had been the embers of my irritation into a full-blown inferno. "Bella, someone here wants to talk to you."

Before anything else could be said I intervened: "Peter what have you done? You told him I came back? Are you insane!" Great now all we needed was Edward getting his panties in a twist and rushing to Bella's rescue. I felt her heart beat escalate as her panic set in and I thought to myself, "she's not ready for this, she needs more time." Bracing myself I dropped my voice, needing her to understand that I would be by her side whatever manner she needed me to be. As I whispered in her ear, the intimacy of our proximity not lost on me. "Do you want me to calm you? You don't have to speak to him if you don't want to."

"I don't know." She moved in closer, her grip tightening on my arm and her knuckles turn white. I was happy to offer whatever comfort she needed. We'd promised to work through our issues together and I was glad she truly trusted me to get her through this.

"Put him on Peter, but he talks to me. You better be ready for me to beat your ass the next time I see you. I gave you one instruction. Do not let him know that I came back for Bella."

"Mindreader."

"Figures." I sighed to myself, realizing the extent that I had gotten used to the peace away from Alice and Edward's gifts, but it didn't stop me being annoyed that Edward had been reading Peter's thoughts. I didn't need this additional complication right now. I loved Edward, he was my brother but I was not impressed with how he lied to Bella and the family. I knew he was going to be pissed with me for going against his wishes and coming back.

"How could you, Jasper?" Edward growled into the phone; I told you to stay away from her." I could imagination him tugging at his fiery hair with his free hand as he paced a crater into the sandy desert floor.

But I wouldn't put up with his brooding bullshit. This current situation and the danger Bella and Charlie were now facing were his fault. "If I **had** stayed away she would be dead by now, I found her in the woods. Cold, wet and alone." I rubbed Bella's shoulder remembering that day with HD clarity. She just sat there frozen in her spot.  
>Her conflicting emotions spiralling around us.<br>Her grip on my arm never loosening.

"What!" His response was barely a whisper. The shock from my announcement of returning to save her life took the gust of wind from his sails.

"Actions and consequences Edward." The thought of losing Bella made my breath catch. Luckily I had been around to save her. His actions had had consequences and so had mine; through trying to save her I had gotten to know the real her.

"I left Charlie a note. He knew where she was." He responded.

"Did it really escape your attention that she might try and follow you and get lost? She loved you Edward and you have absolutely no clue what your leaving did to her. What OUR leaving did to her." I was frustrated that my eternally seventeen year old brother had no idea what his actions had done.

"I didn't want to leave. I had to keep her safe. She deserves better." Was he really so shallow as to believe the words spewing from his mouth? Was he really that self-absorbed...

Bella's quiet, pained yet determined voice prevented my outburst, "That wasn't your choice to make."

"Bella."

Her name coming from him sounded like the smoothest honey. The one word coming from his mouth betrayed how much he missed and still loved her. I looked over at Bella as the first tear escaped and slid down her flushed cheeks. She was stuck between anger, betrayal and want.

She moved away from me and stood. Not even looking around. I saw the first wave of tears slide from her chin and heard them hit the floor. "I need to talk to Edward, but I can't right now, it hurts too much. I have to go." Her voice relayed none of the emotion she was showing in front of me. She was protecting herself from Edward.

It pained me to see how affected she was. I grabbed her hand and tugged her towards me gently. Bella's bloodshot eyes turned to me as she shook her head. She wasn't ok and she couldn't talk about it right now, especially with Edward still on the phone. I pulled her into a brief hug letting her know I was here if and when she wanted to talk about it. I released her, and watched as she turned and slowly climbed the stairs.

"She won't talk to me." Edward's words were a statement rather than a question. You think! I wonder why? Might have something to do with you tugging her heart out and hanging it from a tree.

"She may be eighteen Edward. But you lied to her and now both her father and mother are in danger. How do you expect her to react? This isn't a fairytale. She knows what monsters lurk in the shadows and she has the scars to prove it." I could imagine him flinching at my words, as I reminded him of James.

"I know I can't ask for her forgiveness, no matter how much I need it." Was he really thinking about his own needs right now? Bella was in no position to think of anything but the safety of her mother and father.

I knew he was hurting. I felt myself softening, torn between Bella and my brother. "Give her time Edward. She has more important things to concentrate on right now."

He went quiet. I could almost feel his pain. As irritated as I was with him, I knew he loved her deeply. He changed the subject slightly, obviously not comfortable having this conversation in front of Peter and Charlotte. "Peter mentioned that an unknown vampire is lurking around Forks."

He what? "Mentioned or you plucked it from his mind."

"About 10 seconds ago." No surprises there. It was strange how I could fall back into the pleasantness of my relationship with Edward, even when the topic of conversation was a little strained. I missed him, he was my brother. "I would come back and help, but I need to track Victoria. I need to fix my mistakes."

"Emmett will be here in a couple of days, and I'm not sure you'd be welcome right now." Glancing up the stairs I could feel Bella's pain and heard her sobs through the steady stream of water from the shower. I hated seeing her like this. I needed to concentrate on Edward before he could decipher that there was more to my feelings for Bella than I was ready to admit out loud. "Plus I have some backup."

"Who?"

"The wolves are back on the reservation. It seems our presence has reawakened the gene."

"Gene? How do you know this?"

"I've spoken to them. A lot of things have changed since you left." _Including my feelings for your ex-girlfriend. _I'm glad he can't read my mind over the telephone. I'm sure at least one of us would be missing body parts.

"Tell me."

"Now's not the time. Look I need to check on Bella." Her sobs were getting harder as she started to hiccup.

The growl from the end of the phone gained my attention again. I heard Edward take a deep breath and can imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose as he attempted to calm himself. "Jasper. Take care of her for me." I knew how much that statement had cost him. He thought I was the only member of the family more dangerous for her than he was.

"Edward. I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for her. No matter how inappropriate you think it is, she needs me right now and she has to be my first priority."

"But you're dangerous."

"We're all dangerous. But I'm not going to leave her. We've caused enough damage already."

"I wanted to keep her safe."

"Edward sometimes, what **we** want isn't always the right thing to do." Bella entered the room tears still streaming down her cheeks, wrapped in her father's sweatshirt from earlier. Her arms clenched tight around her middle, as if scared she'd fall apart from the inside out.

"Look keep me updated. Don't let Victoria near Washington state. You're my brother, please be careful. Listen to Peter he has experience in these sorts of situations."

"Please look after her Jasper I don't know what I'd do if I lost her." _You already have lost her_ and as guilty as I felt at that thought, if I had things my way he'd never get her back. But there were more important things to worry about right now, mainly getting rid of the threats that seemed a constant cloud over our heads.

"Keep me updated and call Esme, she's been worried sick."

"Will do. Bye Jasper." Edward ended the call, no doubt struggling with everything that he's found out in the last few minutes.

I felt the swirl of conflicting emotions as Bella entered the room. The same mix as before but with a dollop of acceptance blended in. "Bella" She launched herself into my arms as her torso shook with heavy sobs. She would probably be bruised from the force, but at the moment she didn't seem to care. She needed me. Why can't things be easy just for once? She doesn't deserve this much heartache.

I pulled her onto the couch and she sat beside me taking the comfort and support I was offering. She was playing with the hem of the sweatshirt again, I wrapped my arm firmly around her shoulder, pulling her into me as she let the sobs wrack her body. I was allowing her time to process her thoughts and emotions, whispering words of comfort, but I couldn't tell her things would be ok. My own heart was breaking seeing her reaction to Edwards call. We sat like that for a while. Her sobs quieted but she gripped me like I was her life line.

When Bella finally broke the silence her voice was gruff from her tears. "He promised it would be like he never existed."

"I know."

"Why couldn't he leave me alone? I was finally getting over him and now he wants to speak to me. I can't do it Jasper it's too difficult." I rubbed her shoulder offering her any support I could. My own internal struggle being ignored for the moment.

"You don't have to do anything right now." I squeezed her tighter to me, needing the closeness, her warm body penetrating the cold marble of my skin. "We made a promise remember – no dwelling. He's obviously hurting darlin' and misses you."

"Part of me wants to forgive him and take him back, but I don't think I could survive if he left a second time." I realized in that moment, that I felt the same as her. What would I do if Bella left me? She was never mine to begin with. "Jasper no matter what happens I need you to promise me something." Her pleading eyes burned into my soul. It left me feeling as if she had seen through me and my facade. Could she know how I really felt?

Could I promise her something that would cause me pain? If she went back to Edward could I stick around? She would be protected by Edward and the pack. My job would be done, but the thought of leaving her behind crushed me. If I stayed it would cause me more pain, but I didn't think I was capable of leaving her, not now not ever. "Not until I know what it is."

She took a deep breath. Whatever she wanted to ask me would change our relationship forever, whether good or bad. "If you ever have to leave me, promise you'll be honest with me and stay in touch. Even if we can't see each other."

It was one promise I knew I could keep. "I promise."

"Thank you." She dropped her head again and resumed her fascination with her father's sweatshirt hem. She was deep in thought. I kept feeling for her emotions. She was still upset but I could feel a trickle of love and comfort. I hoped that the love was for me. My own emotions were like a whirlpool sucking me deeper. I felt like a pendulum being pushed and pulled in varying directions. Bella held all the power over me. When I was with Alice everything had come naturally. Bella tested me at every turn. I relished in the turmoil she had created in my life, because sitting here with her in my arms was like finding home. I closed my eyes and enjoyed this brief moment of shared comfort.

By the time I looked at the large grandfather clock it was nearing midnight. "Are you tired?" I could feel that Bella was emotionally drained.

"Not really. Wanna watch a movie?" I could feel the hope in her voice, sure she wouldn't be able to sleep even if she tried.

"Sure. Its getting chilly why don't you get a blanket and I'll set everything up."

"How did you know I was cold?"

I ran my fingers down her arm, "goosebumps." Her blush spread rapidly across her cheeks.

"Oh." Bella turned on her heel and headed upstairs grumbling to herself about 'all knowing vampires'.

I received a text from Sam letting me know everything seemed clear tonight. He let me know that Paul and Jared would be patrolling the woods around the Cullen home, ready to raise an alert at the first sign of danger. The rest of the pack spread around the Swan's and the old treaty line. I was still concerned about Peter and Edward, but there was nothing I could do about it tonight so I busied myself preparing snacks and setting up the DVD player.

On Bella's return she found me lounging across the sofa, trying to feel calm and collected. She half-smiled when she saw the diet cola and large bag of chips on the coffee table.

I felt the sofa dip as she clambered onto the seat next to me, snuggling down under the comforter and sipping her soda. "what are we watching?"

"You choose." I didn't really mind what we watched, I just needed a distraction from an overly eventful evening. Bella's emotions had settled slightly, but I knew she was trying to stay calm for my sake.

"I saw your pirated copy of Face Punch on the shelves earlier."

"Seriously. I thought you'd want something a little less gruesome?"

"No Romance, no Happily ever afters, just blood and gore."

"You don't believe in Happily Ever Afters?"

"Not any more."

She grabbed the controls and flicked the channel and stopped on Pride and Prejudice. I knew this was her favorite book, so even if her attitude had changed she would still watch it. As the minutes ticked by she became lost in the story, and engrossed in Colin Firth. I tried to stem the jealousy at the lust she was emitting in the TV's direction.

Needing to feel close to her, I grabbed her foot into my lap, using her warmth to center me. Bella twisted round to get more comfortable but didn't pull away. It wasn't the first time we'd sat like this; I knew why she was feeling what she felt, but that didn't mean I had to like it. And with everything going on around us I knew she needed this emotional escape. I just hoped that one day things would settle down for the both of us. All of this trouble was bringing us closer together and was working to create a bond that I hoped couldn't easily be broken. To her it was friendship, to me it felt like so much more.

It was a weird situation to have Bella in my house like this: alone with me. It felt really domestic and comfortable, yet uncomfortable knowing that it wouldn't last and she couldn't be in my house the way I wanted. I knew now more than ever that I was falling in love with her. The more I wanted to fight it the more I seemed to let my guard down with her.  
>I wanted her.<br>I needed her.

I knew things were not going to be easy for us, at least not short term. We each had enough baggage to fill a mall, but I no longer felt like that excuse was strong enough. We had a month until Christmas and I didn't want to think about how things would change once the family returned. Emmett was due any day now and I knew that would effect the bubble we'd created. I felt like a petulant child: I didn't want to share her. When had I become such a complicated character? Everything until I came back for Bella had been black and white. I lived for my wife and family, fed, fought my bloodlust. I had settled into a nice routine of existence. Now everything had become shades of grey with sixteen primary colors thrown in to blind me at successive intervals. Each day became an unknown. Everything was changing in a matter of minutes or hours on a regular basis. I enjoyed the change, but I craved the normalcy I could have with Bella, if she'd let me and if we survived the challenge we were going through.

I realized that over the course of the last few days I had given up the thought that I was not ready for a relationship with Bella. It may seem fast but I now understood that I needed her in my life. She made everything seem bearable and some moments epic. One smile and all the bad and the trying things seemed to be put on hold. Right here and now, as I sat on this sofa with her everything felt right. No matter what happened around us I felt content in this moment.

I watched her as her eyes close as she drifted into a deep sleep, the worry lines etched between her brows relaxing as she fell further into unconsciousness. I allowed the calm of her slumber to lure me in and relax me for a few moments. Knowing that this would be the last time I would have the chance to rest for the next several days. There was a fight on the horizon and I prayed that no one from our side would get hurt. I knew myself well enough to realize that I couldn't bear the pain on Bella or Esme's faces if the loss of someone they loved or cared for has not been prevented because I was not at my best.

When she'd drifted into a deep slumber I contemplated leaving her here on the couch; she seemed the most relaxed she'd been in days. I didn't want to wake her so I gently lifted her and carried her up the stairs to her room. She nuzzled into my chest as we walked, making my heart ache just a little bit more. I carefully placed her down on the mattress and tucked her in, watching the half smile on her face as she shifted into her dream state.

I could feel her emotions kicking in, living out whichever scenario her brain desired. I envied her this moment of slumber. A chance to escape the realities of her life for a little while. I turned off the lamp and left the room, allowing her privacy.

I settled against the wall in the hallway. My feet pulled up as I read a paragraph from Bella's favorite book. I couldn't understand why she loved it so much. Maybe one day I'd ask her.

I jumped as she screamed for both me and Charlie. I knew for certain no one was around, but I darted into the room at vampire speed. The tears streaming down her flushed cheeks, her eyes wide begging for me. I perched on the side of the bed, holding her as she calmed. Whatever the dream had been about had shaken her profusely. I stayed until she calmed down, "try and get some sleep. I'll be in the next room." Her panic knocked into me as if I'd walked into a brick wall.

Her nightmare must have really shaken her because she began shaking again. "Stay." The fear in her eyes was excruciating to watch, I felt my heart break a little as I realized how much vulnerability she hid from everyone around her. I knew in that moment that everything was finally taking a toll on her.

"Ok." I got up to move to the chair in the corner as had become the ritual when I stayed at her house. She grabbed my wrist and scooted over making space on the bed. The significance of this moment wasn't lost on me. She used to let Edward lay on her bed with her. I scooted up the pillows, laying back enveloped in her warm scent. A scent that had become my own source of hope. "You want me to help you sleep?"

She shook her head, sending more of her delicious strawberry scent my way. "No. I'll manage." I distracted myself from her presence by grabbing a book off the nightstand as she lay there and looked at me. I wasn't sure how many words I could absorb even with my large brain capacity. My mind and body were reeling from my emotions and the closeness of having Bella with me here in a bed. I had to distract myself. The book wasn't going to work.

"You want to talk about it?" Hesitation, fear, apprehension then resolve. I didn't know what to make of that combination.

"Is he coming back?" I knew she was referring to Edward, the small flicker of hope didn't go unnoticed. That one small flicker demolished any hopes I had for us. Even with everything he'd put her through, and our moment on the sofa with her pressed into my side, she still wanted Edward. How she reacted to this conversation would tell me whether to completely build a wall around my heart or continue to let things develop at their own pace.

"Not right now." I kept my voice purposefully level, trying to hide my own emotions. This conversation wasn't about me, but I had a feeling it could break me.

"Soon?" Her hope increased with her response, breaking another chunk of my heart.

I couldn't hide the irritation from my voice. I felt like she was unintentionally toying with me, because she had no idea how I felt. "Bella. I'm confused. After what you said to him earlier I thought you were starting to get over him?" I'd hoped, I'd prayed. " He's with Peter helping them hunt for Victoria."

"I heard what you said to him."

"I know. I was listening to your heartbeat."

Her gentle huff, did nothing to hide her disappointment, "Stalker much!"

"I noticed you avoided my previous question." I said gently.

"Do you ever get over your first love?" The pain in her eyes, showed the depth of the hurt she still felt.

"Eventually."

"I know he hurt me but part of me still loves him. No matter what he's done." I felt the guilt she felt at admitting how she really felt. Was she really as oblivious to my feeling as she seemed?

"Would you ever take him back?" Could I build my own pyre any higher right now?

"I don't know. I don't think so." That would have to be enough for me for now. I could feel the conflict inside her. Warring with herself with what she knew was right and what her heart truly wanted. I would wait till she was asleep before I drifted into my own thoughts. I couldn't let her see how much her words had affected me. She still loved him. I would have to emotionally back away and let her live her life. She wasn't ready for me to offer her more at the moment. No matter how much I wanted it. I had to fight the venom pooling in my eyes.

"It's ok. Go to sleep, apparently things seem better in the morning." I really wished I could sleep and escape my own hurt if only for a night.

"Goodnight Jasper." She snuggled into her blankets looking content even though her emotions said otherwise.

"Goodnight Bella." As she drifted off into a dreamless and calm sleep, I contemplated the uncertainty my future held; whether after all the danger was gone would I be able stay? I would never break my promise to Bella, I would be a phone call away if she needed me, but the thought of loving her and not being able to be with her because she was pining for my brother? That would take more strength than I could muster. I'd made the decision, I couldn't stay here. I would bring Edward back if that was what she wanted. If she wanted to give him a second chance I'd step aside. I couldn't be selfish with her. She wasn't mine to keep. I wallowed in my own misery as the center of my existence slept beside me for possibly the first and last time.

My phone buzzed with the sign of a new message pulling me from my self destructive and repetitive thoughts.

Alice: _Bella won't be going to school this week. She's 'sick'. Don't worry I'll call in for her. You concentrate on the nomad, and no I can't see the outcome the wolves are blocking my sight._

That took one worry away, at least I'd have the week with Bella. I could at least insure that she'd stay safe. Even if her presence destroyed me in the process. Hopefully the nomad would be killed within a couple of days because I would not be looking forward to the conversation I'd have with Charlie if Bella had to stay with me a little longer. I'm sure he'd shoot me if he realized I spent the night in Bella's bed. Not something I would like to test. The bullet wouldn't injure me, but that alone would raise some questions. I lifted a finger to text Alice back, but it beeped before I could even hit a button.

Alice: _No bullets but potentially a lot of groveling. Oh and change that shirt you look like a teacher! _

I couldn't help but smile, she could see my decision, and as much as this was hurting me it was also hurting her. She was trying to take my mind off things. She was still the same Alice that I known and had loved for decades. I still found her controlling my wardrobe a quirk that would forever be "her". It had never bothered me. I decided to pacify her and do as I was told, but not right now, I couldn't and didn't want to move. The shirt could wait till morning.

Alice would prove useful in the coming days, and I knew that her visions of me and Bella growing closer over the previous weeks couldn't be easy for her. No matter what had happened between us, I still cared about Alice and she would always hold a special place in my heart for giving me my life back. My phone beeped again.

Alice: _Thank you. The visions of your future are getting clearer. You will be with her Jasper. Just have faith and be patient._

I hoped so. Could I be patient? I had eternity. Would my own emotions hold out to see Alice's vision to fruition? I just had to make sure that I didn't make any rash decisions and change the future Alice saw. I texted her back finally able to get a response to her.

Jasper: Thanks. Take care and give Esme and Rose a big hug from me.

Alice: Will do. Time to test out your newly found cooking skills. Omelet time.

I laughed. Only she would take pleasure in watching me cook for Bella. It was something that both Alice and Esme had enjoyed doing while we had all been together.I looked over at Bella sleeping peacefully next to me, she had snuggled closer in her sleep and I could feel the heat radiating from her body through the comforter and I looked at the clock. 6.30am. Time to get up. I felt lighter than I had before. Alice's vision had given me something I had nearly lost in the last few hours.

Hope.

**I'm really intrigued to hear your thoughts and feelings on this chapter. Edward couldn't leave Bella alone when the opportunity arose.**


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